used
In a world of injustice, where nothing makes sense or works out as planned. My mind lives in logic, and when I wake up from my constructed dream, reality seems so
My blue plastic watch won't stop...44 minutes, and I've answered two problems out of 8. This is the recurring nightmare, the panic. That does not compute. Helpless in my tin shell.
This is what I hear: the fog, the footsteps, the soggy grass hanging its head. We're on the edge of something good, why won't they believe me?
Sometimes I am simply not prepared for these words. I go in with something in mind to write about, something dark and brooding, and what do I get to go off of? Luxurious. How can I write about us cracking, breaking down, the pages and pages of dense, nonsensical reading, the tears and the broken trust and the false hope, with a word like luxurious? But maybe there's a silver lining. Because maybe now I have an excuse to think about you and me with two avocados and some cheese and chips, watching House and feeling safe in each others' arms.
My hair is wet. What better time to die than as I step out of this shower, dry and warm as I've ever been.
I can't get hysterical anymore. My heart has been twisted and compressed, and now it is a hard little ball, and no more tears can be wrung out of it. I smile now, and you think that's even worse.
The sharp edges of "acceptable", the scars that never, ever fade or warp, but stay jagged and white on our souls.
All the time, slightly unsatisfied, but is it really worth going and buying a bottle of water? Always drinking from the tap. It's so much cheaper, but always leaves you slightly thirsty.
What I thought was pretense, hubris, wrinkles, neck folds, wealth. What I met working at my dad's office was energy, smiles, youth, intelligence...I wish he was still in school.
The bite of muffin I'm chewing is really the only place I'm getting any strength from. I'm a tree uprooted, groping for family, friends, love, affirmation, vindication, strength. The only thing keeping me grounded is this bite of muffin.
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