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lilybensko
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lilybensko
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declined
sometimes you need to politely decline sometimes you need a night to sit at home by yourself we all do I do and that is okay
church
i never really belonged there nothing made sense to me virgins can not produce offspring i was afraid to speak my mind in such a place after i left people asked me why they meant well they were nice people, mostly but not all and i felt better when i was not trying to fit in when i was not trying to change my beliefs
overt
since my face does any talking for me my expressions tend to be overt and i am learning to find joy in that
welcoming
there is something so welcoming about walking into the barn the horses stick their noses through the bars on their stall doors and nicker to say hello you can smell the hay and the tack and the horses (of course) and everybody you see wants you to be there there is something so welcoming about belonging
interested
i am interested in so few things i love horses i love books i love songs but lately even the things i love have been boring me who cares about math? (me) who cares about the latest book? (me) who cares about their grades? (me) not me
adolescent
being this age is so hard i feel like i'm outgrowing my friends i feel like i'm outgrowing my town i feel like i'm outgrowing my house i feel like i'm outgrowing myself how will i get through this when i can barely get out of bed
motivated
I am the opposite of motivated I want to ride horses and write and read and listen to songs and spend time with my friends and be happy and take care of myself but it is 9:07 pm and I have yet to start my homework I do not care at all but I am supposed to care a lot
veteran
My cousin is hopefully going to be a veteran I hope he comes home okay
repressed
it seems like everything i feel needs to be repressed if i seem happy, people ask me why and they don't let it go even long after i'm uncomfortable if i seem sad, there has to be an interesting reason, right? wrong. i don't want to constantly explain myself leave me to my emotions
selective
I feel like everyone is so selective and I'll never make the cut my hair is too wild my face isn't angular I weigh too much I'm not smart or pretty or funny or like-able and I'm never going to be good enough
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