kenia
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Well, I have to start classes in a few days and I still don't have my camera fixed. I was supposed to go today to that little yellow shop but I didn't find the time or energy to get out of my house and go. Bummer. But then again, I was the one who chose photography as the darn extracurricular activity. I somewhat regret it, but then I think: Do I really picture myself in the sports, folklore dancing, or arts club? Cus if I know myself good enough, my single talent is chasing my friends, family and boyfriend away when I get in that neutral and depressing state of mind that my own insecurity causes. That talent, I've been practicing a lot in these last weeks. I guess I have to stop unless I want to be a complete loner by the end of this month.
shelter. Well, I remember ._.
emmmm.... yeah I got nothing ._.
the ants have invaded picnik.com :/ no more free photo editing, that sucks
So I live in Mexico. Yup. Poor. But I love it (:
and so it's really tropical, so there's beaches and rivers. There's a river behing my middle school actually. It's just a 10 min, hike away. Once in a while me and my friends ditch to go swim. But there are a lot of barbwire fences and sneaking into other people's properties involved. This one time, me and my friends where already going back to our high, but this guy on a horse caught us in his property so we ran. And when we were reaching the end of his property, we climbed over a barbwire fence, and I stabbed my hand into one of the little spikes xD hahaa It hurt. I still have the scar.
In my highschool, the teachers installed fences so we wouldn't ditch anymore xD It's not so easy but we found a way to ditch...
i used to live in the desert 4 years ago
it's not that bad, i lived in phoenix az
i had never seen the ocean back then
when i came here, i remember the day perfectly
i ran into the ocean expecting the water to be like pool water and i ended up with a bunch of salt water in my mouth and my throat and eyes burned like hell hahaha
but it was sunset when i got there, and everything was a splash of colors....
ice.... my family used to have a store where we would sell ice cream, popsicles, flavored water, and snacks
i remember that i had to make popsicles in this big machine and then put them in the freezer... and i remember that there would be a lot of icicles there, and it made me miss the snowy places in the US since here it's a rainy place, and it never snows....
i stopped missing everything when you came around... now, then only thing i ever miss is your face... yesterday was beautiful... even though i got in trouble hahahaa
new beginnings....
i think i'm a bit scared of them, well, more than stop being who i am right now
my mom wants to move back to the USA and i don't want to, i love Mexico, i know it's poor and everything, i know that if i went with her, i would live better, but i don't want to
i love my boyfriend, i love my bestfriends, i love this place and i don't want to leave
normally i'm not the kind of girl that stays behind just because of friends, i simply think i don't belong over there, even if i have only lived 3 years here and the rest of my life over there
it's not right..... i love them and i don't want to leave them behind, to just erase everything i lived here... i can't move on without them..... and i'm scared of depending so much of them... it's not right....
but should i really let go if something i love? start a new beginning? create a new story?
maybe..... i don't want to.
... this is MY story....
so i think that i have to be more positive, about everything really, about me, i'm kinda worried that people might disappear from my life, like my bf will stop liking me or my bestie will find another friend and forget me T.T today my boyfriend said that some girl that he used to like talked to him and said that she mas jealous of me because i'm his girlfriend, and i think that if she wanted to, she would get with him.. and i'm scared he'll forget me and go with her
and my bestfriend doesn't like me anymore, she's mad at me....
maybe i don't deserve them.. what if other people do? should i just give up to whom i love because they deserve better? or is it just the fear of getting hurt?
would i rather let them go before they leave me?
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