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jml3116
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moving
You moved here and he never could he will never leave texas he will be swirling around the flat highways on his bicycle and i will be walking through midtown in a tight black coat timelines and lots of lines turned and erased and decided i think it was never going to happen
camera
the camera is the killer. the pictures stained in sun and a love that is no more. i can't look through the lense of our love anymore. I must put it down. I can not look at our pictures and long for the glassy shell of our summer. you and i. i and you.
orbit
We are out of orbit. My atmosphere has combusted. Truly apart. Circumnavigativing my own despair.
destruction
Why do I yearn for construction sites hard hats yellow boots vacancy rubble and despair
however
I am okay in the most concise form. I am okay. However, I should be feeling great. I should be basking and sinking and seeping. But the shudders under my skull are temporarily locked shut. It is tough for me to relate whats going on outside to what is going on inside
approach
what an interesting approach to the whole situation. drive by with your hand sticking out and that stupid grin. pretend like there was nothing ever planted. just keep smiling and asking me about my play. do not address the tension, the static that inebriates me just keep being you. and ill be me. i suppose thats the best approach.
whole
the whole of me. is still sore and sullen. the whole of me is raw and ravaged and biten and biting the whole of me is sheepish and disintegrated the whole of me is shiny and scintalliting the whole of me in blue jeans and blue tatters the whole of me is sick with the sorrow and silliness the whole of me is still resting in you
shape
The shape it has all taken. the corners i have cut. i like to say they are with your cruel glittery scissors. but actually this one is all me.
gym
I saw you at the gym. Basketball sneakers and shoulders hunched in. I stared into your face flustered and finagling for words to fill our mini space. I was wearing this frayed tie dyed shirt and all I wanted to do cover my red cheeks. You spoke to me, really speaking, if that makes any sense. And I really listened, if that makes any sense.
heels
Those black heels. With the buckle. They hold me high above the world. they have the salt from that night where the snow had seeped into sidewalks. They hold the dust from that sparkling night i kicked my feet up on your knees. and of course our night. the blowing magic. my heels held me up. as my ankles knocked and knees saunter from side to side. as you look at me, like i am tall and something to look at. i must not have been too great.
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