stooshie
"How can you seem so comfortable even though you know that you're not the best there is?", she asked me. I looked back at this mountain of young, teenaged insecurity. She's spent her whole life being told she's not good enough. Her hips are too big, her bust is too small, her waist is too wide, her mouth is too thin. The hurt in her eyes is so strong that it burns me to see. "Dearie, I embraced who I am and how I look. I'm no super model, but I am who I am and that includes all my flaws. If the world can't take that, it's their own problem. Don't listen to all the negative words. You are you. You are beautiful. Embrace who you are. No one in the world is quite the same beautiful as you."
What now? She was stuck in this strange city with not a cent to her name and an overly caffeined brain. How was she ever going to explain this to her superiors. The creatures had come out of nowhere, though. Her only recourse had been to cram herself into that phone booth. Suddenly everything had gone quiet. She had cautiously opened the door to peek out and discovered herself in a street that she didn't recognize in a city that she didn't know... What what going on?
So that's what's it's come down to, is it? You're just going to play the thief, take what you want and leave, hm? Well, I have news for you. Two people can play at that. Actually I have an even better plan. I'll make what you want so inaccessible that you'll never be able to find it. That won't be hard since someone else already has my heart, anyways.
Success. It's that thing everyone's chasing. Everyone wants to have it. But no one really knows what it is. Do you have to have some amazing job and an expensive car to be successful? Do you have to be having sex with a different person, whenever you feel the desire to? But both of those are wrong. Success is not something that can be measured in what you have. Our judgement has become perverted. Success should be measured in the amount of good you do and the number of people you touch.
"Just cool your heels there! No need to get in a rush!"... You know how much that irritates me when you say that. I actually want to accomplish SOMETHING. I refuse to be like you in thirty years. I have so much better things to be doing. I need a break, yes. But like hell, I'm going to stop doing everything that I do. I actually live. Thank you. I want to do more than just exist.
My thoughts really do tend to wander. They stray unchecked over the meadows and pastures of my mind like oh so many hungry cows looking for more green grass. However, there are one or two that dodge around these others and weave in and out of all the traffic to get to one thing. These thoughts are not cows, slowly ambling their way to wherever they wish to be. These thoughts are swift, brilliant and fast like swallows. They fly over the extraneous things and head straight to the most important thing and that thing... is you.
We all wish we had some kind of magic wand that we could wave and just make all the problems go away. But that's not going to happen. We can't just fix this with a flick of the hand. We're going to have to work at it. That's okay, though. It will make everything all the much more worth it. The work that we have to put into it will give it more value in the end. And when it comes down to it, I'd rather work for you for the rest of my life then have an immediate fix with anyone else.
Almost. It's always just almost. Why do we give everything when people will only care... almost... It's never enough. But yet we never stop giving it. Why do we do this? The human race is officially a very stupid bunch. Then again, maybe we're actually an extremely optimistic bunch. We give our all to people until we find that one person that will give their all back. That's what we're waiting for. We wait for the almosts to disappear. In the end, it's worth waiting through the almosts to find that one total.
I can't think of anything else. It's like it's all melted into the morning sun. I don't know where any of it went. All of this has swept it all out. There's no room left in my head for anything else. Not even tumbleweeds. I watch that new sun come up and start to wonder if perhaps... That's the way it was supposed to be. I know nothing more than this and nothing less than it. The problem is, where do I go from here?
They say that control is important. One must never let it slip. I've tried so long to keep that up, but lately I've started to think... Why is it so important? Why can I not admit that some things are beyond me? I know why now. They're scared. They're very scared. I am not. I cannot control everything. Nor am I going to try. This is life. This is how things go... and that's fine with me.