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parasite
trapped in little teensy glue pools or pinned on corks and set atop a stream their mouths rimmed with hooks and they pucker up for a kiss round wounds round worms round bellies strings of lifer twisting out of the bottom of your foot some are jellyfish some like the same stuff you did some people buy swordfish and pay extra for the movement from worms that decided finders keepers. losers weepers weeping sores lick it away lick it away taste the warm rot and put the worm back in your arm
vapor
why are the things that are always intangible the ones that scream to be touched? when i near the end of my life and i see you holding my hand i will take a breath and pop into billions of bits of me i'll float on the air, fall into the pockets go through a cigarrette or three and i will still exist, still living but it'll be the freest kind of free.
bloomed
why is it i never feel that tingling that feeling that i've done right because underneath the mingling of smiles and eyes all bright i feel like what I want to see myself become is wasted and lost under my bed along with my journals and socks and some things that i thought were dead
deft
Hidden talent can not be smelt nor dealt with in a reasonable way why oh why does jealousy get all over your dress and hands and chin but you don't use a napkin to clear it away and accept there is always someone better smarter laughter pain you can try to lose it but you won't gain
collection
Death collected my dog today. He's lying on a blanket, shaved hiney covered and eyes half open. I wish we could have given him more, but all I can think of is he was still so warm.
collage
Sticky tricky bits of light They know, they know, so don't put up a fight Because you know it much better than they That glue won't keep the burns away... But into the glue jar you let your hands dive lick your little fingers, feel the moisture dry The wormy squirmy, mushy heart has no need for plastic art. Roll up your socks if they cling to your toes blink twice and once if the beating slows You know who I am and if you don't I won't tell rosy cheeks don't suit you too well.
catapult
Such a careless movement no layers to plan just one decision to make yes or no definitive be flung or climb out of the cradle and think of what it could have been no backsies no chance for regret or repeats toss and turn, weigh the options because once it snaps whips into the air and then it's clear it will have to end and it won't be graceful, will it?
shoulder
rounded like a door knob, then sloped like a valley ending at the trunk of a sapling and if you dare to climb it nestled in the leaves among the birds and the blossoms is the most terrifying thing: the mind of man
stories
It seems to be the same again and again I make a whole future for ourselves bathed in honey light I set myself up for quite the fall as soon as I fall in love I have the feeling that you shouldn't be able to do this to me whoever "you" are, but it seems like every single time I'm on the floor writhing and my hair gets soaked my nose runs, my throat clogs up and I'm choking up on sobs and smashed would-be memories I feel wrapped in cellophane under my eyes seize up my face tingles my ears feel washed but dulled I burn up and my heart... oh my god my chest let's not like we won't be the way I wanted because oh no no no goodness no I shake and I shake, wringing my hands bite my fingers and knuckles to see the marks I can make revel in the throbs and pain. i look in the mirror to see me contorted into this blotchy, red-eyed wrinkled fool kicking my legs like a child in a tantrum I look like an idiot so…what to do? write make something I even know these things will come just why is it never me? why does it always be someone else who is happy can know you like no other will bore you or not and I will be there with a pathetic box of chocolates or left at the altar of an unplanned wedding dolled up, nearly wetting myself with excitement and possibility and away it bubbles and smokes like a photograph thrust into a fire for dramatic purposes I don't want to do anything but wrap myself up in a heavy carpet and bleed myself dry eat myself whole glow with such force that I dissolve explode the pressure from my wracking sobs should do that but mercilessly I stay intact to continue this cycle again and again and I know it I KNOW THAT WE COULD BE SO MUCH I SEEEEEE ITTT ht 2gjokngklns'glmdglms ds but it's not to be so save your tears for something that happens.
enemies
I wept a little when I realized that the one you loved was apart from me that you would extend a hand to help her down from a ledge or a stage or a wall and I would be left to jump and hear my knees crack and bend I could lie down and let them throb (hot pulses how wonderful) but you'd be walking away and I want (need?) to follow because it hurts so well to be tossed away by you to be ignored by you it makes me feel special as if I'm the only one whose heart has been broken (not that I'm the only one you'd love, a bit too late for that one.) If only those words like to pop up If only I had not blushed so much (when you once called me bashful I almost threw up) If only I had spoken to you (that was a biggie.) If only I had made you realize that there were people who wanted to be with you who "like" liked you. It's childish… And I can't be mad at this girl (even if I convince myself I'm superior…I can't help my nature). I can't hate her for taking away something only I was aware of and I can't blame others for not caring about it. not knowing that's what it comes down to. and my mother is right, of course. that in a few years we may see eachother at a party or some other (stupid) gathering of old friends and we will have beautiful people on our arms and I can say then "I nearly loved you, you know." Then again, you may know now and I'm not for you and I can't blame you for it (as easy as that would be). I'm tired, though Tired of being so blue and heavy (blue from bruises, heavy from…?) And, you know, (you know) It's okay that you broke my heart a little. made me tougher made me realize things don't work out (goodness do I know that) And I'm very happy that you're happy.
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