kianamarie
so tell me,
why do you decorate everything you say?
Literally, every word you've ever told me,
or typed,
or tried to convince me,
you sugarcoat it and make it so much more simpler than it really is.
So how about you stop?
You don't like me,
you like the fucking chase.
And if I keep following it, you'll never let me go.
And I hate how you have so much fucking control over me.
It didn't hurt at all, I thought, my God. A brand new start of everything, and anything. Who needs these things when you've got you?
You gave me a driven.
You're my driven.
So thank you.
I like giving gifts to my best friend, Melody. And they can be the smallest gifts of life, too.
Because I know she takes meaning in everything. And it makes me take meaning in it too.
I'm not sure what I would do without her most days. But she's in Virginia for a month and it's just horrible.
But still, I.
Coincidentally,
my dad's getting ready to walk the dogs now.
I remember a few months ago,
on one of the many nights I was yelled at for not being immediately ready to walk them,
we were down the street,
and I had an image of the leash being around my own throat.
Leashes are for Kiana.
not dogs.
I've already used this word,
I wrote about today's legacy,
what describes you,
the way you carve anything and everything,
you carve yourself and become beautiful,
in your own way,
that's what beauty is.
Your carvings and you're hopes and ambitions,
and your pain and scars,
because everything carves a little bit more out of you.