karsh
"MAMA MAMA!"
Malia ran into the Oval Office and found her mother Michelle reclining in her husband's office chair sipping a cup of tea and finishing the Sunday New York Times.
"What is it?"
"The economy is tanking, the Tea Party is rising, and the country is in shambles! What should we do?"
Michelle peered over the top of her paper and said "Child, I am hardly pressed over that."
She leaned back in her chair, gently twisting her lemon wedge into her water and then discarding the misshapen hull over her shoulder.
Wedging one hand between her overlapping belly and the waistband of her assless denim shorts, she let out a guttural belch.
"Ah, now that's clean living."
Agents Farley and Wharton ran down the dimly lit corridor.
There was a door at the end -- on the other side of that door would be the answers they came all this way to find.
"Are you ready for this?" Farley pulled his gun from his holster and held it close to his side.
"I have to know, Farls. This could be it. This could be.."
Suddenly, the door opened and the two agents were flooded with white light. It was...
Zarathustra sat cross-legged on a lotus blossom as it drifted through space. Soon, he was near the orbit of Earth.
"Man thinks erroneously that there is no gravity in space," he spake.
He opened his hand to reveal another small lotus in his palm.
"The reality is that floating only brings you closer to the source of attraction."
"Say it after me, OK?"
Maisie sat there as Carmen tried to get her to speak.
"Sprepper. Sprep. Per. Sprepper."
"PEPPER!" Maisie exclaimed. She bounced in her high chair and clapped, seemingly amused by Carmen's growing frustration.
"Why can't she just say 'sprepper'? It's so confusing!"
"Carmen, stop trying to make 'sprepper' work," said Maisie's mom.
"Wait! The mist is gathering!"
Cecil and Kain stood near the end of the cave as the mist started to gather and swirl above their heads.
"Leave...thiss...placcccee...." The haunting voice echoed throughout the cave.
Suddenly, the hissing mist gathering was interrupted by a large roar. The mist had taken the form of a gigantic wyvern! Cecil and Kain readied themselves.
"Time to fight, Kain."