lizzanne
Huh, I don't really like this one. Not much comes to mind. I suppose a montage of my life. Wow, how sad that would be. It would be sad in a poetic, tragedy way, but also pathetic, and uneventful. Well, not quite uneventful.
Loss. Hmm. Of all the things I've lost, love comes to mind first. Better to have loved and lost? I don't think so. I lean more to the "ignorance is bliss" side. I don't want to know what I'm missing out, because all I'd be missing is pain. That's all loss causes. Sure, some people would say it helps you grow, but I'd say that's bullshit. You grow so used to something being there, then all of a sudden, it's gone. What are you even supposed to do with yourself? Something you loved, counted on, needed... it's gone. He's gone. Except he's not. He's still here, but only somewhat. Maybe we'll never get back to where we were, and that breaks my heart. Eh. It's not like I can't deal with heartbreak when it comes to him. It seems to be the only thing I can count on anymore. He hurts me. He makes me smile. It's a never-ending cycle. But I can't let go. I can't lose him, because losing him means losing a part of myself. He's become a part of me I never want to let go of. He changed me, molded me, taught me, damaged me, healed me, saved me, abandoned me, came back to me. Or, rather I came back to him. It wasn't his initiative, it was mine. And maybe it always will be. I'll always be the one to make an effort with him. And that utterly sucks. He sucks. Love sucks.