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i pressed the power button on the old remote control, my television set jumped to life, and shaving commercial blared. i turned it off, maybe t.v. isn't what i needed at the moment. i walked to my kitchen, it had been recently painted red, the room feels different. i unthaw frozez hummus, pull some naan bread from the fridge. voilà, dinner is made. i sit at my dining table alone. i need to get out of my house, i need to go out and feel different. life is consistant, contrary. i need more friends who like to do things, maybe i should have a dinner party. someone perhaps who also enjoys hummus and the colour red. i check my caller-id, my mother has been calling for about a week straight, atleast two times a day. i don't know why she is calling so often, but she doesn't leave a message. i think for a moment that the right thing to do is to return her calls, i don't know what i would talk to her about. i do know that she wouldn't have anything positive to tell me. so i skip over to my laptop and check my e-mails, these days my inbox is flooded with junk mail and coupons. i send out a few e-mails to old friends and co-workers, i would be thrilled if any of them decide to write me back. thrilled.