• .Theo commented on the post, revenue 5 years, 10 months ago

    I want to make money. That’s why you’re here. Now sit down, and tell me, are you going to make me money. That shouldn’t be a hard question, the answer is either yes or no isn’t it?

  • .Theo commented on the post, pairs 6 years, 4 months ago

    Two pairs of socks. I honestly don’t think I’ll need much more for this trip. Where are we even going? It’s like, Jesus, I mean I honestly don’t care. I don’t care about anything. Leave me alone, I’ve never even heard of Uncle Alex. Where is that dumb city anyway?

  • .Theo commented on the post, trench 6 years, 7 months ago

    So, you’re gonna buy this trench or what?
    It was a truly beautiful trench coat. Grim colour, rough edges, and full of scratch marks. God, he loved this thing. Everyone would think he’s such a mysterious person! Oh, golly, if that didn’t excite him.

  • .Theo commented on the post, flour 6 years, 7 months ago

    Oh no, he dropped all of the flour on the floor. Jesus Christ, this show is the worst. Adam turned off the TV and went to the kitchen to make himself some coffee. At this point, his depression kicked in.

  • .Theo commented on the post, weakling 6 years, 8 months ago

    He called me a weakling! A WEAKLING! After everything I’ve done for him, every single command I followed blindly, I’m nothing but a weakling to him. That’s it, if that’s all I am to him I’m no longer going to listen to a single word he says.

  • .Theo commented on the post, embellish 6 years, 8 months ago

    Well, in that story I told him I may have embellished the truth a bit. Just a bit. I mean, honestly, you’d do the exact same thing. Really? You thought I was just gonna straight-up tell him exactly what I did? Yeah, no, not gonna happen. That’s just a weird, silly thing to do and I’m not doing it.

  • .Theo commented on the post, wall 6 years, 9 months ago

    For Henry, life was truly sh*t wall-to-wall now. I mean, just take a look at the facts here. His girlfriend ran out on him, his father’s in the hospital and his boss has got to be the biggest dummy I’ve ever heard of, we can’t just march into Henry’s office and ask him for a favor like this right now. You know what? I’ll do it. I’ll fry a smurf.

  • .Theo commented on the post, features 6 years, 9 months ago

    Well, this car doesn’t only go from 1 to 60 in 10 seconds, it has tons of other features as well! Have you ever heard of a car with a hot dog holder? Ha, I know I have. Gosh, this car truly is amazing. My engagement? Meh, I guess it can wait. I mean, look at this thing, it’s so shiny!

  • .Theo commented on the post, speak 6 years, 9 months ago

    Speak up for yourself, I mean really. Look at you. You’re… a little odd. Anyway, the world as we know it wasn’t created by people who were considered normal. We need odd people, essentially. You, my friend, are the future of this country. Simple because you are odd. So get out of here, I mean really. I haven’t slept for the last two days, and I…[Read more]

  • .Theo commented on the post, speak 6 years, 9 months ago

    Speak. Speak to yourself. Speak to the people around you. If you had one message, just one, that you could get across a large group of people. What would it be? What would you tell this enormous group? Would you tell them, you love them? Or that you didn’t know whether you could love…

  • .Theo commented on the post, responsibility 6 years, 9 months ago

    Argh, I don’t want to go outside. There’s people there. Responsibilities. You just… You go. And I’ll stay here. And that’s that. Sounds like a good plan to me, right? So yeah, let’s do that then. You know, you do all the things I’d usually do. Yeah, I don’t really care about your job, just go.

  • .Theo commented on the post, real 6 years, 9 months ago

    Oh that? Yeah, that wasn’t real. That my friend, was a computer simulation. Yeah, you were pretty good, until you got that bullet in your face. Honestly, what was that? Anyway, we’re sending you back in, you ready for it?

  • .Theo commented on the post, applied 6 years, 9 months ago

    Well, I’ve applied to thirteen jobs today. I actually told that to Jen and she immediately thought it would be bad luck. I mean really, Jen? Come on. So anyway, let’s just hope this job isn’t as bad as this one, right? Up here, man!

  • .Theo commented on the post, destroy 6 years, 9 months ago

    Destroy? I mean really? Destroy it? Just blow it up? Like everything else in your life huh? You’re gonna destroy this too? This girl, she’s in love with you man, I can tell. At least… At least don’t destroy her. Her wellbeing is bigger than your relationship with her.

  • .Theo commented on the post, end 6 years, 10 months ago

    So this is the end, huh? Well, okay. I’d like to say I had a good time but… Whatever, man. Just… You know, let’s just get this over with then. I’ll see you around.

  • .Theo commented on the post, compass 6 years, 10 months ago

    A compass? Really? It’s 2013, and I have to get to work using a compass? This isn’t fucking lord of the rings, you moron! We have cars! How the fuck am I supposed to use a compass on my way to work? Hm? Just check it while driving on the highway? And when a police officer pulls me over I’m just going to have to explain to the guy I’m using a…[Read more]

  • .Theo commented on the post, cry 6 years, 10 months ago

    Well,you’re not gonna cry about it, are ya? I mean, this really happens to the best of us. It’s a bit awkward, right here and now and everything, but really, it could have happened to Jeanie from the sales department. Now wouldn’t this be hilarious, had this happened to Jeanie from the sales department?

  • .Theo commented on the post, cry 6 years, 10 months ago

    Well, the last thing he wanted was to be seen crying. At a carnival. With his son. Fuck, he needed to get out of here. Come on, faster! Run, run for your fucking life! Do you want your son to think of you as less of a man? There are girls watching, even they’re not crying.

  • .Theo commented on the post, politician 6 years, 10 months ago

    The politician said that he didn’t mind if we don’t go to war, but if we do go to war, he doesn’t care. But, since the country lived in a constant fear of going to war, the politician did have to alter his point of view. Essentially, if this country would go to war, the politician would be upset, but it’s a necessary thing, he guessed.

  • .Theo commented on the post, promise 6 years, 10 months ago

    Oh come on, that’s a pretty promising text message! She’s literally saying she’d like to see me again. I can assume something from that, can’t I? It’s not like she’s not giving any signals or anything, she’s totally into me. Well, maybe not totally but I’d be surprised if she’d say no.