Bang. Bang. Bang.
He had promised her, he’d be home for Christmas. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world”, he’d written in his last letter.
It was two weeks from now, his leave was granted and the plane tickets were booked.
For two months he’s been looking forward to seeing her again after so long.
Taking the picture of her out of his pocket, he leaned his gun against the damaged wall beside him.
Bang. Bang.
“I don’t know if I am going to make it, my love. I’m so sorry”. His magazine was already empty and the gunshots outside just wouldn’t subside.
Footsteps were heard just outside the wall. They were coming closer.
Bang.
He didn’t look up when the door opened.
******************
In the end, he didn’t break his promise. He’d never promised he’d come back healthy, but he did return to her.
His chest ached and his head felt heavy, but when he opened his eyes again, she was there, leaning on his bed and holding his hand in hers.
“You came”, she whipsered and even though it hurt like hell to speak, he managed to creak out a faint
“Always.”
Echoing across hallways too narrow to dampen the sound, a concordance of volume increasing on its own accord; she had never heard anything like it before, the dance becoming more and more frantic as the music threatened to swallow her whole and keep on going, throwing the whole world into its cacophonous gullet.
you were so quiet. you crept into my life like the end of a flickering splint, light, glowing, but still there, having the potential to burst into life when doused into oxygen. i didn’t notice you. not at first, at least. you were understanding, soft-spoken, and unbearably gentle, like some kind of blossom that’d fall apart at a touch. you were so quiet. i’ve never thought about it, but now that i see through these clear eyes, i know that i need you to be louder. your presence is the only one i need. so please.
Her ruby red, dripping crimson, glowing scarlet heart trembles and quakes, shudders, yells, screams, nearly leaps out from behind her teeth with the force of its singing.
she was screaming, her voice reaching new heights with every shriek, yet no one heard her. she screamed louder and louder, but her voice, so shrill in her own ears, was silent.
mpossible to ignore – all the voices in your head speaking at once, their words drawing the thick, bitter sap out of you like a wounded tree; wanting to scream, but nothing comes out. Nightmares like words whispered to you in desperation – asking, begging, tearing you to shreds – letting ivy grow unchecked until it’s suffocating you, waking up with a scream and sweat soaked sheets wondering if the pain means the dream hasn’t ended. Falling asleep every night with a voice in my heart growing from a low hum to a pastor’s fevered sermon, standing every hair on end, leaving me only in the form of a quiet tear. Not a word leaves my mouth.
Decisions that seem too late, contradictions too deep, prolonged silences muting the world around me – an opportunity. Each torture a gift to listen to, not hear, and I fight everyday in the hope I finally turn my head in the direction of my voice, knowing it may lead me into desolation, like a penguin turning from the sea and running toward death.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
He had promised her, he’d be home for Christmas. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world”, he’d written in his last letter.
It was two weeks from now, his leave was granted and the plane tickets were booked.
For two months he’s been looking forward to seeing her again after so long.
Taking the picture of her out of his pocket, he leaned his gun against the damaged wall beside him.
Bang. Bang.
“I don’t know if I am going to make it, my love. I’m so sorry”. His magazine was already empty and the gunshots outside just wouldn’t subside.
Footsteps were heard just outside the wall. They were coming closer.
Bang.
He didn’t look up when the door opened.
******************
In the end, he didn’t break his promise. He’d never promised he’d come back healthy, but he did return to her.
His chest ached and his head felt heavy, but when he opened his eyes again, she was there, leaning on his bed and holding his hand in hers.
“You came”, she whipsered and even though it hurt like hell to speak, he managed to creak out a faint
“Always.”
Echoing across hallways too narrow to dampen the sound, a concordance of volume increasing on its own accord; she had never heard anything like it before, the dance becoming more and more frantic as the music threatened to swallow her whole and keep on going, throwing the whole world into its cacophonous gullet.
you were so quiet. you crept into my life like the end of a flickering splint, light, glowing, but still there, having the potential to burst into life when doused into oxygen. i didn’t notice you. not at first, at least. you were understanding, soft-spoken, and unbearably gentle, like some kind of blossom that’d fall apart at a touch. you were so quiet. i’ve never thought about it, but now that i see through these clear eyes, i know that i need you to be louder. your presence is the only one i need. so please.
後３週間
Her ruby red, dripping crimson, glowing scarlet heart trembles and quakes, shudders, yells, screams, nearly leaps out from behind her teeth with the force of its singing.
she was screaming, her voice reaching new heights with every shriek, yet no one heard her. she screamed louder and louder, but her voice, so shrill in her own ears, was silent.
when i wake up, when i come to, when the meal ends, when the cigarette gets on its bits, when i cease vomitting, when the cramps wain, it gets louder.
mpossible to ignore – all the voices in your head speaking at once, their words drawing the thick, bitter sap out of you like a wounded tree; wanting to scream, but nothing comes out. Nightmares like words whispered to you in desperation – asking, begging, tearing you to shreds – letting ivy grow unchecked until it’s suffocating you, waking up with a scream and sweat soaked sheets wondering if the pain means the dream hasn’t ended. Falling asleep every night with a voice in my heart growing from a low hum to a pastor’s fevered sermon, standing every hair on end, leaving me only in the form of a quiet tear. Not a word leaves my mouth.
Decisions that seem too late, contradictions too deep, prolonged silences muting the world around me – an opportunity. Each torture a gift to listen to, not hear, and I fight everyday in the hope I finally turn my head in the direction of my voice, knowing it may lead me into desolation, like a penguin turning from the sea and running toward death.
“Tell them the truth!” snarled Cassie.
“No!”
“Tell. Them. The. TRUTH.”
Bart said nothing at first. When he finally did speak, his voice was low and subdued. “I was responsible for the fire.”
Cassie shook her head. “Louder, Bart.”
“What?”
“Louder, so they can all hear what you have to say.”
“I was responsible for the fire,” repeated Bart, but only a little louder this time.