bigzip44
god, again. camera. why. i imagined this would be this amazing interactive ever-changing experience where a new dynamic and different word would appear to me, inspiring beautiful, spare prose every time it showed up at the top of the screen in lavender but no. CAMERA. i am going to throw up a bunch of catatonia now because of this horrible thing, this thing i already knew about but continue to use to write and rewrite and rerewrite about the word camera and i want to see just how weird this will get; do i have the patience to make myself insane by writing about this very onerous and rather boring word over and over and over again, do i?
camera is the same word my new word is wall but integrated with camera so taking pictures of walls could be an idea, a brilliant way to expose the feeling of being trapped, or no, that's a cliche bullshit idea, and it's difficult on the fly to come up with an argument with the damn word they give you but i don't care i like difficult things because i'm obstinate and argumentative and oppositional and the only thing i know about cameras that is true about other bad things is that cameras take things, they take photos, but they take them and they don't give what they took back, it's like when the devil takes your soul for cash and an island but no happiness is allowed to be involved in the trade or maybe nothing of any substance that might actually be worth trading your soul, camera's they take your soul.
photos like pieces of paper with my life scrawled all over them with a little machine from k mart but i don't care because they can't capture what they need to capture, what they try to capture is just the skin never the heart and lungs of the matter and these photos, they just fill you with memories of the times when the heart, the lungs, the spleen, it was all there and you could feel all of it except fucking just look at the piece of paper with its damn lifeless ghost.