The vast blue curtain pulled over my eyes was filled with every color I had ever known. From deep purples, rich yellows, and vibrant greens, the environment shimmered to life with a opalescent grace. Bubbles pushed their way out of my gear and rose to the surface, rainbows reflecting off their exteriors.
I went scuba diving once. Down deep to the sandy white ocean floor. Off the coast of an island somewhere south. Far away from what I consider reality. And to be down there, beneath the world, in another state, with another population, changed my view of everything above. And when I surfaced and returned – when I went north – I didn’t see people or cars or buildings. Instead, there were beautiful individuals floating about – human powered and motorized. There were reefs of buildings, with organism shops living among and within.
Tegnap arra jutottam, ogy az én légzőkészülékem az írás. Onnan merítek friss levegőt, inspirációt. Amikor csak úgy írok, bele a világba, gondolkodás és szerkesztés nélkül. Ettől friss oxigén jut a véráramomba, ötleteim támadnak. Most is ezt fogom tenni, mert megint nem tudok a “feladataimmal” foglalkozni – egyszerűen nincs itt az idejük.
If I jump now and let myself go, how deep will I go? Let go! Don’t ask questions. Turn your sinking into a voluntary dive. Look around you while you go down, see the beauty -instead of stars, the star fish, instead of sun, the rays. At the bottom you know why you are there: to kick back up again.
It had taken a couple of tries, but Alexander could finally go as deep as he wanted to. The first few times, it had terrified him out to no end, all that water and pressure hanging above him, and darkness below. But now he actually kind of liked it.
They exist, I tell you. Go on, have a laugh. Roll your eyes and snort in derision, nudge your buddy and share knowing looks. Say I’ve gone mad, that I’m off my meds.
Well, that part may be true.
But I know what I saw.
Somewhere, hidden in the darkest part of the ocean tide, they dart through the water with fins more powerful than our own two legs.
Out his element in this strange world he almost wanted to hold his breath. It didn’t seem real. Everyone was so different and the words they were saying were so strange and sharp. It was like being underwater and not knowing which way was up or down. He could never relax fully because there was no resting place. Even in his own bed he was uncomfortable.
Things rattle in my head, ugly and cacophonous. Things that haunt me long after I’ve pressed my eyes together in sleep, long after I’ve stitched myself back together in anticipation of a new day. There was a time when I would fight these things, swim against their persuasive current in my mind. Now I sink.
The scuba diver was found floating face down along the shoreline. His oxygen line cut, throat slashed, and a spear through the back. The coroner declared it an ‘accidental’ death. Obviously no one could possibly mean to do this man harm.
Never mind that he had recently got put on parole after a vicious attack on a child just six months prior. Yeah, it was an accident. Poor man should have watched where he was swimming.
My small range of dance moves leads me to this, but it is okay because tonight, everything is ridiculous. So I plug my nose with my fingers and shimmy downward, my free hand waving like seaweed. And you, smiling, join me.
Blindfolded to simulate a smoke filled room, tethered to your partner, as he feels along the wall, providing an anchor for you as you reach out to rescue the ‘victims’ and guide them back out. The moment of panic when your instructor turns off your air to simulate a dry tank and the moment when it’s all over and you find out that you rescued them ALL!
“Let’s go scuba diving!” Jen exclaimed, while we were brainstorming summer vacation ideas.
I laughed nervously, “I hate to break it to you, but we live in Kansas.”
She smiled. “No matter. That’s what planes are for.”
“But I can’t swim…”
I’m in the deep sea,
looking, and searching.
I’m in a net; I wish I was free.
I’m looking around, just for somebody.
I see the guy with the scuba gear.
His hair is black, his gear is red.
I see him go, he cuts the net.
He sets me free, I’m liberated.
dIVING. sELF CONTAINED UNDERWATER BREATHING APPARATUS? tHE FISHIES ARE LOOKING AT ME BECAUSE i HAVE INVADED THEIR TERRITORY. yAY! bACK WITH MY FAMILE, THE ONES WHO LIVE UNDER THE SEA. uNDER THE SEA, UNDER THE SEA! tHE LITTLE mERMAID IS NOT STUCK IN MY HEAD… sEBASTIAN, YOU ARE AWESOME. yOU ARE LIKE THE FATHER HER FATHER ISN’T. dISCOMBOBULATION… Crap the caps lock was on…
I’ve always wanted to go scuba diving. Getting to see those beautiful fish, coral, sharks, and the mysteries of the sea is something I would love to experience. So much of this world isn’t seen, so anytime a new opportunity pops up, get your ass up and go for it.
I swam underneath the waves, gently swaying me to-and-fro. I stared at the mangled kelp forests beneath me, looking for any sort of sea life. I watched for any sun yellow, or crayola red. I paddled along at my own gentle speed, my scuba tank allowing me to live beneath the pressure of the ocean, if only for a while.
When I first met my cousin Daniel, I remarked two things, his ox tattoo and that he mentioned he was scuba certified. What did Sylvia Plath say about trying on different lives like dresses? It’s odd to think how many people I won’t be in this life.
I floated above the coral, watching a school of baby squid slip past through the water. A simple joy that I was incapable of expressing through sound. I was firmly stuck in a world of wonder on my own.
glub glub glub. little fishies swim by the mask. the reeds swish in the current, the cool water 10 feet down. wish i had brought the camera. the mouthpiece feels too big.
It was a little scary to take the plunge, but I think I did okay. The water closed in over my head and I begin to feel that sort of weightlessness that you always heard talk about, but you don’t ever experience until you take the plunge, over the side of the boat, and into the unknown.
They told me that everything would be okay, but before I could really register what was happening, the feeling of drowning filled me. It filled my lungs, filled my entire body, from my toes to the ends of my hair. And although I know I should have flailed, although I know I should have done something about it, I let it happen. I let the fire rip my lungs apart and darkness, a throbbing painful sort of blackness took me over.
“Let’s go scuba diving?”
“What?”
“Scuba diving. Let’s go.”
“What the fuck? …No? Why are you asking this?”
“We need to do more spontenous things.”
“No…that’s just stupid. Go do something yourself.”
“Well, I guess I’ll look for other ways to add fun to my life.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
I shook my head. Outside, the waves were making loud clapping noises on the sand, like Poseidon was applauding our idle chit-chat. My date – bearded, stocky, and bespectacled – swirled cream into his coffee and smiled.
“Neither have I,” he said, “but I’ve been snorkeling. The coastline is beautiful, but underwater with the sun hitting the top of the water just right is fantastic.”
As she put on her scuba gear, she was anxious to drop into the clear pristine waters of the Crytal River where the Manatee lived. For she knew they would greet her with their quiet and gentle spirits.
Sinking, drowning, breathless. All I see is darkness, I can no longer see the light, breathless. There it is, my hope, a scuba. Could I reach it? Can I make it. Oh what it would be like to breathe again.
It was all so familiar. She found herself at the edge of the dock again. She got there by hopping from piling to piling, rather than taking the easy route across the nailed-together planks, just like last time. And most importantly, just like the time she first dove off the edge and into the cold dark waters, this second time would be under the fresh velveteen blanket of nighttime.
We were away. In an island of our own… well not really, many people lived here before us but still. We were free. Our little house by the ocean and all the time in the world. To love each other.
When I went scuba diving for the first time it was a wonderful experience to discover all kind of life under the sea. Surrounded by colourful fishes and plants I almost felt like a mermaid. Then I noticed a small shadow on my face and when I looked up I saw a severed foot in shoe floating in the water.
A beast does what he wants, and he wants to write of droughts.
You can’t always tell me what’s on your heart,
so you write it on your sleeves in words only I can read.
Say my name.
You don’t keep me calm, my triggerevent, you press me until I become your flashpoint,
so you can be the one to soothe my every bad thought.
Say my name.
You act as though I know nothing..
something..
everything.
I do so say my name.
You know my hunger is dangerous, well
my thirst is fatal.
You steal and snap every band I own, bands you were never allowed to see. And I wanted you to. You finally say my name. Magnificent desolation.
Now it storms and you have to leave my side during my soul’s drought. I thirst painfully.
I won’t hurt you, but your punishment will be severe. I will tear you open and fill my thirst.
Diving down in the depths of the ocean with my father seemed like a fun thing to do. But with all the fish swimming around and my father out of sight, I’m changing my opinion. Why did I think we could go deeper in our relationship in the water than on land?
A beast does what he wants, and he wants to write about droughts.
You can’t always tell me what’s on your heart,
so you write it on your sleeves in words only I can read.
Say my name.
You don’t keep me calm, my triggerevent, you press me until I become your flashpoint,
so you can be the one to soothe my every bad thought.
Say my name.
You act as though I know nothing..
something..
everything.
I do so say my name.
You know my hunger is dangerous, well
my thirst is fatal.
You steal and snap every bad I own, bands you were never allowed to see. And I wanted you to. You finally say my name. Magnificent desolation.
Now it storms and you have to leave my side during my soul’s drought. I thirst painfully.
I won’t hurt you, but your punishment will be severe. I will tear you open and fill my thirst.
Waves lap at my ears, my back exposed to the sun, but my eyes are submerged, observing. I am dipping my head into another world, looking past a veil to glimpse at what rests below my floating body.
“Scuba diving?” I repeated dumbly.
“Yes, scuba diving!” she exclaimed. “It’ll be fun! We can see fish and stuff!”
“I’ve never scuba dived before,” I said.
She shrugged. “Neither have I,” she smirked.
Water glistening, sparkling, like a floor of gems. Impossibly bright and clear. Colors unimaginable. Life unimaginable. To dive in, to submerge, to become part of such a place–a dream.
Diving into uncomfortable positions
In your bed, your ocean, your gritty gristly mind
Remembering the beginning now
Smiling because I can say where the beginning was
I can say we’re now at an end
Funny thing about water, rushing into every crevice of you
Is that you can’t see the tears
Whose eyes sloughed off their emotions first
If we both let fresh water join the mercury see
Or if we both stared
And let it go
Back into our own beds, our own oceans, our own wavy warped minds
Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
I have a fear of that. I wish I didn’t.
I wanted to become certified, but I never did.
The beat goes on.
The vast blue curtain pulled over my eyes was filled with every color I had ever known. From deep purples, rich yellows, and vibrant greens, the environment shimmered to life with a opalescent grace. Bubbles pushed their way out of my gear and rose to the surface, rainbows reflecting off their exteriors.
I went scuba diving once. Down deep to the sandy white ocean floor. Off the coast of an island somewhere south. Far away from what I consider reality. And to be down there, beneath the world, in another state, with another population, changed my view of everything above. And when I surfaced and returned – when I went north – I didn’t see people or cars or buildings. Instead, there were beautiful individuals floating about – human powered and motorized. There were reefs of buildings, with organism shops living among and within.
She had never been scuba diving. It both interested and terrified her simultaneously. The mask, the air pipes…too many what ifs!
Tegnap arra jutottam, ogy az én légzőkészülékem az írás. Onnan merítek friss levegőt, inspirációt. Amikor csak úgy írok, bele a világba, gondolkodás és szerkesztés nélkül. Ettől friss oxigén jut a véráramomba, ötleteim támadnak. Most is ezt fogom tenni, mert megint nem tudok a “feladataimmal” foglalkozni – egyszerűen nincs itt az idejük.
If I jump now and let myself go, how deep will I go? Let go! Don’t ask questions. Turn your sinking into a voluntary dive. Look around you while you go down, see the beauty -instead of stars, the star fish, instead of sun, the rays. At the bottom you know why you are there: to kick back up again.
It had taken a couple of tries, but Alexander could finally go as deep as he wanted to. The first few times, it had terrified him out to no end, all that water and pressure hanging above him, and darkness below. But now he actually kind of liked it.
They exist, I tell you. Go on, have a laugh. Roll your eyes and snort in derision, nudge your buddy and share knowing looks. Say I’ve gone mad, that I’m off my meds.
Well, that part may be true.
But I know what I saw.
Somewhere, hidden in the darkest part of the ocean tide, they dart through the water with fins more powerful than our own two legs.
You laugh now, but I’ll show you.
One day.
Out his element in this strange world he almost wanted to hold his breath. It didn’t seem real. Everyone was so different and the words they were saying were so strange and sharp. It was like being underwater and not knowing which way was up or down. He could never relax fully because there was no resting place. Even in his own bed he was uncomfortable.
Things rattle in my head, ugly and cacophonous. Things that haunt me long after I’ve pressed my eyes together in sleep, long after I’ve stitched myself back together in anticipation of a new day. There was a time when I would fight these things, swim against their persuasive current in my mind. Now I sink.
The scuba diver was found floating face down along the shoreline. His oxygen line cut, throat slashed, and a spear through the back. The coroner declared it an ‘accidental’ death. Obviously no one could possibly mean to do this man harm.
Never mind that he had recently got put on parole after a vicious attack on a child just six months prior. Yeah, it was an accident. Poor man should have watched where he was swimming.
My small range of dance moves leads me to this, but it is okay because tonight, everything is ridiculous. So I plug my nose with my fingers and shimmy downward, my free hand waving like seaweed. And you, smiling, join me.
self contained breathing apparatus
Blindfolded to simulate a smoke filled room, tethered to your partner, as he feels along the wall, providing an anchor for you as you reach out to rescue the ‘victims’ and guide them back out. The moment of panic when your instructor turns off your air to simulate a dry tank and the moment when it’s all over and you find out that you rescued them ALL!
scuba steve is the anti-love of my life. He’s that annoying energetic type who says things like, “nice day for a swim, huh hun?”
“Let’s go scuba diving!” Jen exclaimed, while we were brainstorming summer vacation ideas.
I laughed nervously, “I hate to break it to you, but we live in Kansas.”
She smiled. “No matter. That’s what planes are for.”
“But I can’t swim…”
I’m in the deep sea,
looking, and searching.
I’m in a net; I wish I was free.
I’m looking around, just for somebody.
I see the guy with the scuba gear.
His hair is black, his gear is red.
I see him go, he cuts the net.
He sets me free, I’m liberated.
dIVING. sELF CONTAINED UNDERWATER BREATHING APPARATUS? tHE FISHIES ARE LOOKING AT ME BECAUSE i HAVE INVADED THEIR TERRITORY. yAY! bACK WITH MY FAMILE, THE ONES WHO LIVE UNDER THE SEA. uNDER THE SEA, UNDER THE SEA! tHE LITTLE mERMAID IS NOT STUCK IN MY HEAD… sEBASTIAN, YOU ARE AWESOME. yOU ARE LIKE THE FATHER HER FATHER ISN’T. dISCOMBOBULATION… Crap the caps lock was on…
I’ve always wanted to go scuba diving. Getting to see those beautiful fish, coral, sharks, and the mysteries of the sea is something I would love to experience. So much of this world isn’t seen, so anytime a new opportunity pops up, get your ass up and go for it.
I swam underneath the waves, gently swaying me to-and-fro. I stared at the mangled kelp forests beneath me, looking for any sort of sea life. I watched for any sun yellow, or crayola red. I paddled along at my own gentle speed, my scuba tank allowing me to live beneath the pressure of the ocean, if only for a while.
When I first met my cousin Daniel, I remarked two things, his ox tattoo and that he mentioned he was scuba certified. What did Sylvia Plath say about trying on different lives like dresses? It’s odd to think how many people I won’t be in this life.
I floated above the coral, watching a school of baby squid slip past through the water. A simple joy that I was incapable of expressing through sound. I was firmly stuck in a world of wonder on my own.
glub glub glub. little fishies swim by the mask. the reeds swish in the current, the cool water 10 feet down. wish i had brought the camera. the mouthpiece feels too big.
It was a little scary to take the plunge, but I think I did okay. The water closed in over my head and I begin to feel that sort of weightlessness that you always heard talk about, but you don’t ever experience until you take the plunge, over the side of the boat, and into the unknown.
They told me that everything would be okay, but before I could really register what was happening, the feeling of drowning filled me. It filled my lungs, filled my entire body, from my toes to the ends of my hair. And although I know I should have flailed, although I know I should have done something about it, I let it happen. I let the fire rip my lungs apart and darkness, a throbbing painful sort of blackness took me over.
I sank, I did not float.
“Let’s go scuba diving?”
“What?”
“Scuba diving. Let’s go.”
“What the fuck? …No? Why are you asking this?”
“We need to do more spontenous things.”
“No…that’s just stupid. Go do something yourself.”
“Well, I guess I’ll look for other ways to add fun to my life.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“You ever been scuba diving before?”
I shook my head. Outside, the waves were making loud clapping noises on the sand, like Poseidon was applauding our idle chit-chat. My date – bearded, stocky, and bespectacled – swirled cream into his coffee and smiled.
“Neither have I,” he said, “but I’ve been snorkeling. The coastline is beautiful, but underwater with the sun hitting the top of the water just right is fantastic.”
As she put on her scuba gear, she was anxious to drop into the clear pristine waters of the Crytal River where the Manatee lived. For she knew they would greet her with their quiet and gentle spirits.
I’m breathing under this mask of mine
I’m a mastermind of masking my
Thought that’s diving deeper into the ocean
No need for emotions when you mask it
Sinking, drowning, breathless. All I see is darkness, I can no longer see the light, breathless. There it is, my hope, a scuba. Could I reach it? Can I make it. Oh what it would be like to breathe again.
It was all so familiar. She found herself at the edge of the dock again. She got there by hopping from piling to piling, rather than taking the easy route across the nailed-together planks, just like last time. And most importantly, just like the time she first dove off the edge and into the cold dark waters, this second time would be under the fresh velveteen blanket of nighttime.
We were away. In an island of our own… well not really, many people lived here before us but still. We were free. Our little house by the ocean and all the time in the world. To love each other.
When I went scuba diving for the first time it was a wonderful experience to discover all kind of life under the sea. Surrounded by colourful fishes and plants I almost felt like a mermaid. Then I noticed a small shadow on my face and when I looked up I saw a severed foot in shoe floating in the water.
A beast does what he wants, and he wants to write of droughts.
You can’t always tell me what’s on your heart,
so you write it on your sleeves in words only I can read.
Say my name.
You don’t keep me calm, my triggerevent, you press me until I become your flashpoint,
so you can be the one to soothe my every bad thought.
Say my name.
You act as though I know nothing..
something..
everything.
I do so say my name.
You know my hunger is dangerous, well
my thirst is fatal.
You steal and snap every band I own, bands you were never allowed to see. And I wanted you to. You finally say my name. Magnificent desolation.
Now it storms and you have to leave my side during my soul’s drought. I thirst painfully.
I won’t hurt you, but your punishment will be severe. I will tear you open and fill my thirst.
Diving down in the depths of the ocean with my father seemed like a fun thing to do. But with all the fish swimming around and my father out of sight, I’m changing my opinion. Why did I think we could go deeper in our relationship in the water than on land?
A beast does what he wants, and he wants to write about droughts.
You can’t always tell me what’s on your heart,
so you write it on your sleeves in words only I can read.
Say my name.
You don’t keep me calm, my triggerevent, you press me until I become your flashpoint,
so you can be the one to soothe my every bad thought.
Say my name.
You act as though I know nothing..
something..
everything.
I do so say my name.
You know my hunger is dangerous, well
my thirst is fatal.
You steal and snap every bad I own, bands you were never allowed to see. And I wanted you to. You finally say my name. Magnificent desolation.
Now it storms and you have to leave my side during my soul’s drought. I thirst painfully.
I won’t hurt you, but your punishment will be severe. I will tear you open and fill my thirst.
Waves lap at my ears, my back exposed to the sun, but my eyes are submerged, observing. I am dipping my head into another world, looking past a veil to glimpse at what rests below my floating body.
Blub, blub, blub
No I ain’t gonna go scuba
In no dang tub
Put me out to sea
Past the coral and seaweed
Someplace out deep, deep, deep
“Scuba diving?” I repeated dumbly.
“Yes, scuba diving!” she exclaimed. “It’ll be fun! We can see fish and stuff!”
“I’ve never scuba dived before,” I said.
She shrugged. “Neither have I,” she smirked.
Water glistening, sparkling, like a floor of gems. Impossibly bright and clear. Colors unimaginable. Life unimaginable. To dive in, to submerge, to become part of such a place–a dream.
Diving into uncomfortable positions
In your bed, your ocean, your gritty gristly mind
Remembering the beginning now
Smiling because I can say where the beginning was
I can say we’re now at an end
Funny thing about water, rushing into every crevice of you
Is that you can’t see the tears
Whose eyes sloughed off their emotions first
If we both let fresh water join the mercury see
Or if we both stared
And let it go
Back into our own beds, our own oceans, our own wavy warped minds
Bright bubble of blue
World under waves
Shimmer scales
Fins and fish tails.
Exhale.
Peering up through
A rippling glass.