micmac
i was to old I thought to be there , 46 , out of work so ,now going to lug golf bags around the course for rich folks.. but when i arrived I saw I was of average age... I thought i would die on the way home of exhaustion..
out of work for months.. laying on the couch staring at the televsion, watching the sunlight slowly drifting across the room. I tried to fall asleep as often as possible to make the time go by faster .. but I knew I would keep waking up all through the night. I wished I had not quit smoking before all this had started...I needed and outlet. but I did not want to go through that detoxing again. I was just damn tired of all this... I really thought it was the end so why not fucking smoke...I didn't but looking back I don't know why... i don't know why I did not shoot myself either .. .