ialexstone

ialexstone

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I am a resident of the hotel of love- And you are the one who gave me lease; I cannot leave It's too addicting You're always around And i'm always surrounded I'm never alone even if sometimes I feel alone But I know you're there Not too far away. It's a rollercoaster of emotions Trying to upkeep And keep it all glued together But I know, That It'll work out I never want to leave.

All I hear anymore is a faint ringing- It haunts my brain It Haunts my soul, and inner being Anxiety- I can't stop picking up signals It's overwhelming but you, You're right there in front on me A memory Or so it feels like But you're real Standing tall With arms wide open- You tell me things are going to be okay; As you say i look apprehensive You console me and slowly- Very slowly the anxiety is dissapating Very slowly, the ringing is leaving my body Thank you for being mine.

I almost had you- Things couldn't have been more perfect then you had to go and FUCK it up I told you not to I can't force you to want me and I am going to have to get over you. it'll take time because I am so bitter towards you. because you chose someone else over me which makes me feel inferior and small and unworthy terrible sad and upset my spirit broke even though we spent a short time together. I thought it was worth a million lifetimes. Happy holidays you sack of shit. I hope you enjoy it with the one you care about I know it won't make any difference to you that you hurt me. you'll still be smiling, laughing, kissing, loving don't worry, you'll see the mistake you made eventually- because I AM worth it all those fuckers that broke my heart will see the mistake they made when they're 10 years down the road as miserable as anything. realizing that they could've had it all. I don't deserve heartache, no one does. cheers, douchebags.

Why in the FUCK do I always do this to myself- My mind is always thinking about shit, which makes me do dumb things. Like chase boys around for no reason, I'm so lonely all the time Where did this come from? What the hell happened- Always incomplete thoughts are what are in my head. They never seem to finish themselves.. Fear and Loading- Those are my emotions lately- I have no idea what is going to happen, but now that there are feelings involved on both parties- Yikes.. I hate how I am sometimes..

today, I saw you in the mirror- and it brought back memories dear god i've missed you. I can't believe you're here! How'd you sneak in? i sit down in front of the mirror, and hold my hand out- you reach out and put yours into mine that feeling, in the pit of my stomach i have butterflies. i saw you, in the mirror then blinked, and saw me.

You may not be able to see- But I can, Right through the blackness take my hand i'll lead you and you can follow if you can just be still listen, breathe and feel the darkness It's not so bad, is it?

cloak

You cannot see me you cannot see yourself we cannot see each other we're hiding where its safe and sound don't cry darling, we will not be found just close your eyes, and breathe see what you want to see the lights are off we can go anywhere you want to, just tell me where take my hand, i'll show you how easy it is to escape look where we are now. they will never be able to find us here it is safe and we are warm and happy it's okay to smile.

bunch

All these noises All these sights They are all better with you by my side All these emotions All these feelings They are all better when I'm feeling them with you Our adventures will take us places To places that only people dream of Our time will come Let's not worry about it, my dear Let's enjoy what we get to hear Let's enjoy what we get to see Side by side Let's enjoy what we get to feel Let's enjoy what we have Side by side. And no one will ever be able to take away our memories.

acted

I can't think right now Everyone around they're all just blurs moving at a million miles an hour and i'm a snail in a huge world. they're all giants it's all an act I know this.

60 seconds isn't long enough To talk and tell you about what's in my mind About what wheels are turning And what Could possibly Be surrounding me And how it's effecting my thoughts Is it really my perspective? Or is it The rest of the world Forcing their outlooks on life Upon me. I suppose neither of us will ever really know.

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writing since 2011 · 70 entries · 69 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Mi showed up.

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69days written

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on this day 14 years ago

Mi wrote about draw
“my mind is blank- i can't think nerves fill my insides they warm them i'm scared will i lose you? i feel something strange in the air you're... different i'd die without you don't leave.”

the words Mi reaches for

lovecannotnowheadanotherfeelingmindsoulthoughtshumancaredearbrainhandsmileplease