Comments Posted By yugimew

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The Morality Core was installed into GLaDOS by a guy on a quest to save the world from the hungry cannibalistic potatoes. The cannibalistic potatoes were a problem because they ate all the regular potatoes, so no one could have mashed potatoes or French fries anymore. So GLaDOS killed all the potatoes with neurotoxin.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.22.2012 @ 1:59 am

Maybe Black Mesa would helpm me out on my quest. GLaDOS didn’t think so. Apparently it was a joke. At least I have cake. I’d better have cake because it’s a required key item on this quest. Except it’s not a key item; it’s possible to sell the cake and then the quest will be impossible to complete.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.21.2012 @ 9:38 pm


We do what we must because we can. For example, we go to the bathroom on the pile of clothes sitting in the hallway just because it’s there. I don’t know whose clothes that is, but they won’t be wanting it back, I’ll tell you that. They’re ugly clothes anyway. I shouldn’t say anymore; that belongs in part 4 of my confessions.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.19.2012 @ 10:51 pm


The two people kissed on the edge of the cliff. Roxanne gripped her boyfriend passionately and they rolled around on the ground. Unfortunately, they accidentally fell off. As they were falling, Derek thought that maybe this was a really stupid idea. Then they went splat.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.17.2012 @ 12:48 am


The car’s engine was overheating. Cybersix got out to check, but she forgot that the car was still moving and so rolled down the road until she was stopped by a Companion Cube that had been left in the road for some reason. Probably GLaDOS was trying to get someone to run over it.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.15.2012 @ 11:19 pm

GLaDOS killed Dumbledore by pushing him in front of Thomas the Tnandk engine. This was very embarrassing because Thomas apparently could not even spell hjis own tilele or anything else for that matter why am I typing so badly I don’t even know it’s because GLaDSO won’t give me cake isn’t it?

» Posted By yugimew On 05.15.2012 @ 3:06 pm


The grasshopper was made of porcelain. His body was protected from the turrets because apparently they could not shoot through porcelain that strong. Chell kidnapped the cricket so she could kill him and wear his exoskeleton as armor because she hated those crickets so much and she also hated the turrets.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.14.2012 @ 10:08 pm

The bees were crashing down around the china shop because they were also made of china and they were seven feet long. The other insects were all jealous because they were only made of deformed wine glasses that weren’t even glass, but only cheap plastic. This was really bad because they kept melting when they went to the incinerator to burn the Companion Cubes.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.14.2012 @ 4:18 pm


Why did he disregard Pete Pan’s orders? The Companion Cube was supposed to go into the portal that led to Captain Hook’s ship, but Tinkerbell had shot the portal to Skull Mountain instead. Or was it Skull Island… no, it was Skull Rock. You know, taht place with the machine that glitches the game if you ignore it.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.13.2012 @ 9:31 pm

“I wish you would just disregard my statement. This puzzle is impossible, and that is a fact.” The player glared at GLaDoS and killed her with a portal gun made of cheese cake. The cheese was a lie, but the cake was entirely true, and she was weak against cake that is a truth.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.13.2012 @ 9:28 pm


I am lending you my toothbrush for the evening. Please return it within two weeks or you will have to pay the entire full store price for it, and in this economy, you do not want to be wasting all your money on toothbrushes, especially when the person you’re buying them for will just use them to clean off the bathroom grout. You now, IN THE BATHROOM.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.12.2012 @ 11:30 pm

I lent my Pokemon Yellow cartridge to a green cat. It was an actual green cat, not a person in a fursuit. Although it may have been a fursuit lent to someone by a witch that turned the person into the cat, which ouldlld explain why a cat wanted to play Pokemon. Unfortunately, my pet fairy wanted the game back and stole all the cat’s food.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.12.2012 @ 9:11 pm

The librarian lent me a book on how to maek friends with a table. Obviously it did not teach me how to spell, especially since it did have a chapter on lieking mudkips and making friends with them. But I thing I just want to be friends with my Companion Cube because he is very cute and will never threaten to stab me. He is my friend and I don’t want to kill him.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.12.2012 @ 5:45 pm


They packed their luggage onto the plane. Gilbert, unfortunately, did not know that it had to go through the baggage claim first. How they got past the baggage claim was a mystery. Perhaps the security guards were too busy invading people’s bathrooms, you know IN THE BATHROOM. You know, like in the Great Mighty Poo’s lair.

» Posted By yugimew On 05.11.2012 @ 8:25 pm


I am very outgoing when you put me in an amusement park with a Ferris wheel and Ferris Bueller is riding it because he was mistaken for N and now he is treapped forever in a circle of death that is in the bathroom because it’s the toilet and you know IN THE BATHROOM like the Great Mighty Poo. Hi, I’m Daisy!

» Posted By yugimew On 05.09.2012 @ 6:38 pm


I awakened in a large, gray, damp box. There was a window with bars across it. I must have been arrested for speedin g while drunk or something. I definitely reemember being drunk, which would mean I wasn’t really drunk. I guess I’m just a really crappy driver, then. I do remember crashing into a retirement home.

» Posted By yugimew On 10.23.2011 @ 7:37 pm


The Snickers bar was bitten in half by the tiger that wore a vulture hat. It was a hat made from vultures for vultures because the vulture society were canniblas, as opposed to cannibals because they were boring cannibals. The tiger was only a shoplifter of the vulture convenience stores.

» Posted By yugimew On 09.30.2011 @ 1:31 am

The glass of orange juice emptied itself to the point where it was eaxactly either half full or half empty. Then it filled the rest of itself with earwax from a badger that had a German accent and was Manfred von Karma’s idol in Christmas of 1982 when polar bears ate all the German cakes.

» Posted By yugimew On 09.30.2011 @ 1:10 am

Cybersi ate the other half of the pancakes, which by this point were growing mushrooms, so she ended up accidentally high, and then noticed that the x was gone from her name. Then the mailbox screamed and ate a rat. The rat was disappointed because it wanted to be eaten by a mailbox that was a different color.

» Posted By yugimew On 09.30.2011 @ 1:07 am

I ate half a Celebi for lunch the other day. It was that shiny Celebi in the Lost Silver creepypasta. That’s why it’s a half. But that’s not quite it. You see, I barfed up the half, but it didn’t want it anymore because Giygas was possessing the barf and he made it rape the table.

» Posted By yugimew On 09.30.2011 @ 1:04 am

Everyone assumed Cybersix was a robot because she only ate half of the pancakes that were on the table, but what she didn’t know was that Nina had had sex with that table the day before, and there were no plates, which Cybersix should’ve known because she didn’t have a plate because Donavin went on strike. The next day, the pancakes rotted in the sink, so then the sink went on strike.

» Posted By yugimew On 09.30.2011 @ 12:46 am

Alphonse was half armor, half telephone. Edward didn’t like that because he was very confused as to how his brother go to be a telephone. It was all weird and stuff because he would call Moe’s Tavern and a ghost would answer and tell them it was a rhino furry, and then Ed pooped a Philosopher’s Stone.

» Posted By yugimew On 09.30.2011 @ 12:39 am


It had been four weeks since the end of the tournament, and everyone was back in school. They were being punished for cutting school for eight months just to play Pokemon cards. But in their defense, children’s card games are serious business.

» Posted By yugimew On 10.24.2010 @ 2:12 pm


The comic was only half-finished. Some of the panels looked like they were being eaten by an angry polar bear with anorexia, which doesn’t make sense because anorexia means you’re not eating. Plus the polar bear had rabies and wasn’t even in the comic.

» Posted By yugimew On 10.23.2010 @ 6:23 pm


Nina Einstein woke up in the morning feelin’ like P. Diddy. “Oh, Table-kun, you were fantastic last night!” The table had no comment. Nina got up and put on her shoes, ready to go brush her teeth with a bottle of Jack and go on a date with the table.

» Posted By yugimew On 10.19.2010 @ 5:39 pm


Harry Potter stared at the octopus. The octopus stared back. It blinked, and Harry pulled out his wand. The loser of the staring contest had to go shopping with Lady Gaga for designer underwear with flowery decorations on the butt.

» Posted By yugimew On 10.18.2010 @ 11:48 pm


The ShadowClan cats sat in the comfortable seats in the roller coaster car. Why warrior cats are on a roller coaster, we will never know. Except we will, and the reason is that the Shaman King of 2012 is your mom.

» Posted By yugimew On 10.17.2010 @ 9:15 pm


The telescope is a window to an alternate dimension that exists only on Mars, Venus, and that one asteroid that’s about three asteroids into the belt and looks like a bean. That asteroid is the most delicious of asteroids.

» Posted By yugimew On 10.16.2010 @ 9:54 pm


The sweater was draped over the back of the chair. The chair was not happy about this; it was not a very strong chair and could not lift more than 20 pounds. This was a very heavy sweater. It may as well have been armor, but it was entirely made of yarn.

» Posted By yugimew On 10.15.2010 @ 1:00 pm


The bear looked at the hunter. The hunter lowered his gun; he could not kill such a cute bear! It was like the bear was using the Charm attack from Pokemon! Or maybe it was Attract, because the hunter suddenly wanted to marry the bear. They got married, but the bear divorced him for wanting to shoot the kids.

» Posted By yugimew On 10.14.2010 @ 11:26 am

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