Comments Posted By vanessa. p

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you’re watching the sunset with the only boy you’ve ever been in love with. it’s something the both of you do every once in a while. he’s always the one who begs you to see it with him. and when you give in, he smiles so wide, so it’s worth it you guess.

right now, you’re both sitting on the roof of his house. the tiles of the roof are digging into your spine, but the feeling is easy to ignore while you stare at his profile. his brown hair was simple but it looked like it was glowing in the orange light. you make sure that when he looks at you, you look back at the dropping orb of light in the sky. you’d rather watch him then the sunset; you’re the type of person who thinks once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.

glancing down at his hand, you become painfully aware of the distance between your hand and his. you stretch your pinky out, peek up through your eyelashes to see if he notices and when he doesn’t, you scoot it further. “i never get tired of this.” he says and you start, immediately retracting your hand back. “yeah. it’s great.” you reply but there’s an ache in your chest now when you look back down at his hand.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 02.18.2018 @ 12:27 pm


she wasn’t afraid of any monsters,
emily told herself as she lay in bed.
nothing like a monster under the bed could scare her.

besides, her attention shifted to the steps she heard coming up the stairs.
they sounded fast and unsteady.
the door noisily swung open, and in came her father, reeking of alcohol.
she had her own demons to deal with.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 07.31.2017 @ 8:06 am


“prove it to me.” she yelled, the veins in her neck bulging. her eyes were wide and her brow furrowed with her anger. her temple throbbed and she raised her hands up, looking at her fists. she unclenches them slowly. she frowns deeply.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 11.04.2016 @ 12:46 pm


sometimes i like to think that i’m cute. i don’t think that i’m pretty or anything or attractive of that sorts. idk i just don’t really think about my body all the much in terms of whether i’m attractive or not. i like clothes tho. so sometimes i’ll try to put a little effort into my outfit.

in school, sometimes i think, “why are people cuter than me? that should be illegal” and i typically only think this when i see someone attractive. lately i’ve been thinking that i’m bisexual actually because i look at both guys and girls and think that they’re cute.

okay okay so also, there’s this girl right. her name is Lydia but i won’t say her last name (i vaguely remember it). for some reason?? last year in first period, she stared at me. i swear, she STARES at me. last year i had English first period, and for the whole year i didn’t notice this, or maybe she wasn’t looking at me yet. but then towards the end of the year around may or June, we get new seats and i’m sitting next to her.

i think THAT is when i start noticing she stares at me. okay okay, so i’m creeped out right. why are you staring at me? am i cute, ugly? do you think i’m weird when i share my ideas in English? i had no idea and for the whole rest of the year, i didn’t ask her. fast forward to this year right. she’s in my SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS 3RD PERIOD. SHE STILL STARES AT ME.
honestly, it’s starting to piss me off. sometime during this year i’m going to ask her why she stares at me and she better stop because it bothers me. i’ve been thinking she stares at me because i’m cute?? or she likes me?? i have no idea. she’s religious i think and goes to church, so that wouldn’t make sense right?

i have no idea but whatever. anyway, let’s swerve back onto the topic of cute. i’ve been thinking that girls and guys are cute, so i’m thinking i’m bisexual but idk. i had a few crushes on girls last year so. but i’ve never actually dated. so I JUST DON’T KNOW IF I’M BI OR NOT. tbh though, i don’t really talk about boys or girls as much as others. my friends will start talking about crushes, and i’ll stay silent or just think, “we’re in middle school guys, we aren’t old enough to date yet.” so there’s the chance that i’m asexual? honestly i don’t know.

so, you can completely ignore this if you want, i’m just venting right now and i heard that venting or writing in a stream of consciousness helps.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 10.30.2016 @ 9:09 am


her glasses were thick and her eyes sharp
features stiff
shoulders up
she was a doctor alright
a certified one and you could look in her office and see
with all the degrees on her walls
with turn-lipped smiles

» Posted By vanessa. p On 10.21.2016 @ 4:17 pm


the brown haired boy’s frame sinked into the hospital bed,
sickly pale and even white against the sheets.
he was sick,
and he
but there wasn’t a single bone fracture.
it was the fractured heart that made him so sickly pale.
it was a new rare disease where
the unrequited love led to heart-break and so,
the fracture of one’s heart.
though there was nothing wrong with the physical body,
the mind believed the heart broken and the results were clear;
the boy an example.
he peeked through half-lidded eyes at the ceiling,
pretending the spots in the corners of his version
were just the stars coming out
greeting him,
before he fell into a dreamless sleep.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 10.13.2016 @ 8:48 pm

the fractured girl stood in the rain,
tears leaving cracks in her cheeks, crevices in the hollow spaces.
she stared at his back as he walked away.
she looked away from him to peer through her lashes
to see if the sun was coming through.
because she couldn’t let the light of day
lay sight on her fractured heart.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 10.13.2016 @ 8:43 pm


i love coats. i could fill a whole closet with them.
my favorites are winter coats
because i had met her in the winter,
when people wore red scarves and children held their mother’s hands
to keep them warm.
i still have her tattered gray winter coat,
with mismatched patches stitched on.
i can remember the snow falling onto her hair,
when she said
“take my coat.” with a warm smile
that could melt all the cold in my bitter heart.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 10.01.2016 @ 9:06 am


lint. the one thing he always found on his shirt
he leaned his elbows forward and sunk further into his desk.
he peered around the detention room.
so boring. and yet.
he plucked a little ball of lint off his shirt. hmph.
lint. the one thing he could never get off his clothes.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 09.28.2016 @ 6:27 pm


she trudged through the snow, that rose all the way up to her knees. her hands felt numb and her lips were dumb. her frame was engulfed in snow like powder and her trembling just wouldn’t stop.

she couldn’t stop either. she had to continue ONWARD. there was no stopping the little girl in her little parka.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 09.27.2016 @ 4:31 pm


Was that just perspective or? The blue eyed boy squinted through his glasses, wondering what that thing in the sky was. His eyes slowly widened and he began walking backwards as the large dot in the sky began to grow. “Holy SHIT!” He yelled and turn and ran for his life.

His legs flew under him and the boy was so relieved he was in cross-country. He could hear his coaches voice telling him not to look back. But against his will, his head turned over his shoulder and the dot was bigger than ever.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 09.22.2016 @ 4:01 pm


the little girl was like a bug as she scuttled forward, standing back and watching as her mother cooked.

she wandered round the kitchen, much like a roach looking for food. her mother paused to peer at her daughter but said nothing and continued cooking, unknowing of her daughters objective. the girl was waiting for her apron. her darling apron.

the daughter had dirtied it the day before, with flour in her chocolate hair and the color of pink poppies on her cheeks. now, the waited for it to finish cleaning as today was sunday; the official cleaning day in their household.

the girls manners seemed impatient. a shuffle of her feet. a glance toward the laundry room. perhaps another good lean forward to see what food her mother was cutting.

the smell of soup eventually filled the void air. it was warm and filled the room with a reverberate of warm energy; filling the silence whole.

it startled the daughter and mother when a loud ding was heard. the girl smiled and ran to the laundry room to grab, leaving her mother in a cloud of imaginary dust.

the girl pushed the door open and the first thing she saw was a basket beside the dryer. she walked across the room to the left, where the washing machine and dryer stood ready. it was almost as if they were waiting for her, greeting her with the smell of detergent soap and dirty socks.

she opened the white washing machine and shoveled the clothes into the basket, a small frown set on her face. where was her precious apron? she raised her head out of the dryer and spun herself to find her apron.

there it was! hanging behind the door on the silver hooks that hung against the white door. she grinned and walked to the door, successfully unhooking her apron from the hook.

it was an old little thing, something that was used and tattered but stitched up each time. she vaguely remembered the last time she had tore it. her mother had stitched it while she sniffled, her cries fading to joy when it was back in one piece.

the apron wasn’t a full one. it wrapped around her hips and tied behind her with a well knitted knot. the string and stitching was brown and the pattern was a creamy yellow color, like vanilla bean ice cream. there was a lovely sunflower pattern on it; now faded by time.

she loved this apron with all her heart. it was the greatest gift given to her on a christmas day by a friend she valued dearly. she visited her friend during winter and spring breaks and spent time over in ohio with them in the summer.

though the girl missed them dearly, she could still see their smile when she tried on the apron for the first time.

realizing that she was wasting cooking time, the girl left the room with her apron in her hand.

oh, how she loved her precious apron.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 09.20.2016 @ 4:00 pm

the apron flutters
i watch it glide slowly
how dull, the color
– A haiku

» Posted By vanessa. p On 09.19.2016 @ 4:33 pm

What a nice apron, I vaguely think as I pass the woman in on the streets of New York City. I paused in my steps, allowing the people behind me to pass, and turn my head to peer back at the woman with an apron. She didn’t seem like a cook to me. She walked as if she were a queen and held her head high above. Glancing behind at the sign, I watch it turn green. Maybe I was stupid for doing this. Maybe I was crazy. But I know I didn’t really mind as I turned and chased after the raven haired green eyed woman wearing a flowery apron.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 09.19.2016 @ 4:27 pm

He stuck out his tongue in a playful manner. I narrowed my eyes at him. What a brat. He’d gotten flour all over me (even in my ears!) and all he could do was stick his tongue out at me. I wiped my hands across the front of my apron. I turned and walked into the kitchen, ignoring David as he leaned against the doorway.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 09.19.2016 @ 4:24 pm

The brown haired girl sighed, adjusting her apron before getting back to her work. She didn’t have time to dwell on such matters. The only time she had was for work. And working was for a damn good reason too.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 09.19.2016 @ 4:19 pm


“It was just an accident!” The girl shouted, her face flushed from her anger. Her hands were gripped into fists as her side as her rage boiled over the edges.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 09.21.2015 @ 11:55 am


The girl entered the temple, the sounds of her steps making echos across the vast room. Statues were lined about along the walls, and as her eyes gazed across each, she could feel herself smile.

» Posted By vanessa. p On 09.19.2015 @ 2:45 pm

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