Comments Posted By rahostetler

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I had the basket of bread. All eyes were on me. All I had to do was feed the large monster and the sword of triumph would be mine. Suddenly, a hair got in my eye. Like one of those enormous lashes that you just can’t get out. Before I knew it, the monster ate me and the basket of bread. I guess the sword of triumph will have to go to the next shooter.

» Posted By rahostetler On 09.17.2011 @ 2:34 pm


The train moved quickly down the tracks. Suddenly, a loud BOOM came from the caboose. “What was that?” cried the train conductor. When he went to look, he saw nothing but a great big polar bear reprimanding a passenger for not having a ticket.

» Posted By rahostetler On 06.16.2011 @ 6:50 am


I met a cowboy once. He was depressed because he had been out of work for 3 years. He was underemployed as an ice cream maker. He churned ice cream for fat little greedy children. He would much rather be shooting bad guys in the wild wild west.

» Posted By rahostetler On 11.16.2010 @ 12:40 pm


I guess I’m just an average space explorer. I haven’t really discovered anything, except for more space. All I want is to be like the other famous space explorers and discover things like black holes and aliens on other planets. Who am I kidding, I’ll never be as great as them. I guess I’m just an average space explorer.

» Posted By rahostetler On 11.10.2010 @ 7:24 am


I was way behind schedule. I was supposed to be taking the trash to the city dump but I totally got distracted by this bicycle laying on the road. I was like, “this could be mine.” But the bicycler said, “yeah, i don’t think so. Quit staring at my bike.”

» Posted By rahostetler On 09.29.2010 @ 8:47 am


I once had many hats. They all had names and could talk. My baseball hat would say things like, “baseball rocks.” My top hat would say things like the Gettysburg Address. My winter hats were the best because they were generally the quietest.

» Posted By rahostetler On 09.10.2010 @ 6:56 am


Through the window I saw the mist falling from the sky. “What a stupid rainy day,” my friend said. He was mad because he wanted to play baseball. But baseball is dumb.

» Posted By rahostetler On 08.25.2010 @ 7:55 am


The most improbably thing ever is if an elephant living on Douglas avenue would walk out and say that he didn’t like peanuts. Elephants love peanuts.

» Posted By rahostetler On 08.12.2010 @ 2:09 pm


Pie was made to enjoy, not to be used to punish clowns. If we wanted to make something to punish clowns, we would just put them in a room of eternally sad children.

» Posted By rahostetler On 07.29.2010 @ 7:42 am


I had a lot of pencils strung together with gummy bears. When before I knew it, I had a mile of pencils and gummy bears. Too bad I did this in the woods. This offended both the trees and the bears.

» Posted By rahostetler On 07.27.2010 @ 9:01 am


I was in the coffee shop and they were out of creamer. I was so mad that I threw my coffee at the wall. I felt bad and started to clean it up. While I was cleaning the wall I noticed an add for 50 cents off half and half at the grocery store next door.

» Posted By rahostetler On 07.26.2010 @ 7:23 am


The vase was a mean vase. She never liked any flowers. Whenever a flower would try to make conversation, the vase would immediately halt the conversation with a blunt statement,”just so you know, flower, you’re probably not going not make it very long. You guys never do.”

» Posted By rahostetler On 07.21.2010 @ 8:56 am


Through the lens of my sunglasses I see the sun. Wearing sunglasses makes it okay to look at the sun. In fact I do it for hours at a time just to see if I can notice any solar flares. I can never see any solar flares but my eyes do burn when I go back inside.

» Posted By rahostetler On 07.19.2010 @ 10:15 am


I had a car once. It was a blue car with yellow tires. I was sad when the lease ran out because I liked the yellow tires and the blue paint. So I kept the tires and peeled off the paint.

» Posted By rahostetler On 07.14.2010 @ 8:13 am


The time when the sun falls out of the sky is the least secure time there is. That is when everything falls apart and nothing can be worse. So when people say,”is that a safe and secure decision?” You can reply, “no, but at least the sun isn’t falling from the sky.”

» Posted By rahostetler On 07.12.2010 @ 8:46 am


Alright, so when I walked into this detective agency, a small detective appeared and told me, “alright, here’s the scoop.” I was like, “scoop? You’re only like ten years old!

(this may be my weirdest post ever)

» Posted By rahostetler On 07.11.2010 @ 7:08 am


A lot of things lead to chaos. Like when bears run out of the zoo. When they run out of the zoo they head straight for the grocery store where they eat all of the honey and turnips. If that isn’t chaos, I don’t know what is.

» Posted By rahostetler On 07.07.2010 @ 7:04 am


Things that aren’t true are myths. Like the myth that cats are as cool as dogs. Or the myth that space ships only work when they’re in space. I want to make up a myth about something just so when people are like, “is that true or just a myth?” I can say, “no, I made that myth up.” (weirdest post yet)

» Posted By rahostetler On 07.06.2010 @ 6:27 am


I once fell into a pile of mud. It wasn’t as bad as many might think. It was actually full of candy bars. I don’t know how the mud had candy bars but it did and I ate all of the muddy candy bars.

» Posted By rahostetler On 07.05.2010 @ 7:20 am


The beach is a place where the water meets the sand. I wish that they didn’t have to meet. What if they never met? Is this possible? If they never met then we wouldn’t have sun tans, or pesky sea gulls. Sounds good to me.

» Posted By rahostetler On 06.23.2010 @ 11:21 am


There once was a tide who liked to do laundry. But this tide was the wrong kind of tide. Instead of making things clean, this tide just made things sandy and spread fish poop on the beaches. stupid tide.

» Posted By rahostetler On 06.23.2010 @ 8:17 am

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