Comments Posted By lola

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worst

I hear it every day It’s in my head
Like a melody or a song you can’t forget
It lingers like a whisper from a friend
Or the credits at the end
Of a movie you wish you could forget

You’re the worst it says
I’ll never forgive you it says
Why are you still here it says

Hopelessly hopeless I feel

I no longer reply
I’m too tired To play

You’ve won you’ve beat me
There’s no where to go
You found all my love
And you took it away
Now I feel so alone

» Posted By Lola On 05.15.2018 @ 10:34 am

religious

I use to feel secure in the religious blanket my mother covered us with as children. When I began to have my own ideas I thought there was no way a being in the sky could rule over the entire existence. Now I can’t help but feel the energy there. The unspoken words and incomprehensible warmth of love. Although I cannot doubt the presence I can’t help but still feel lonely. I know there’s darkness inside of me. I wish I knew how to fight it. I know he’s given me the tools to fight it I just can’t figure out if I’m in denial or I’m lost.

» Posted By Lola On 04.05.2017 @ 1:44 am

moving

keep moving, don’t stop. moving is good for you, physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and financially. moving is really quite beneficial for progress in life.

» Posted By Lola On 12.23.2016 @ 10:56 am

cabinet

It is a box. Sometimes we will mention it as a organization. This group will help a leader to manage his business.

» Posted By Lola On 09.15.2016 @ 12:13 am

buddha

The buddah is so full of joy. He seems to have no regret or sadness. He sits content with his demise. He sits there perhaps laughing at everyone at how worried we are at the little things. At nothing.

» Posted By Lola On 04.20.2016 @ 12:09 pm

genetic

gjsgliwheioewhoihewjrwelkfnlkewnflkewlkfewsdbfjkwenfkjewnkfjnwkfnlkflkwefjlewjoiewiwehoihewoihweoeiwnfenwknfwekfnewknfewnfewnfewnfnewfnkjfnkjrnfkjrnfkjnrkjfnrkjnfjkrefnkjnfkjnfkjnkjfnrkjfnjkrfnkjrnfkjnjkfnrjkfnkjrenfkjnfjknrjkfnjkrnfjknfkjrnjkfnkjnfjkrenkjrnekjfnrekjfnkrnfejfewhroewihrewlhrewlkhrehklwhewheafkjdkjdfkjfhkdjfkjsarhekhfaekroiwehrewfnwhoeircehehewhfewfyktentfyktenhdhyntjnn nhds hgj gggfnieroeifrwnvoidvfneori noisoivfhhhiuh iu h ih i hi uh i uh i h iuh iu hi h iuh iu h i h ih i j oi jo isoihiauhaiuahdsihfihdidhiahidhiahdihsklajdahkdjhrhtheithituhieuhdhitihedtieuhdihihdhtiueiudhiuhtiehddiuhiiuhiuhiiuehrewrefeifewifeiufhiruwehfiruewhiurewghiurewghiurewhgiurehgrieughriughrwiuegregrewiughrewiuhfrewiuhreiwuwhrweiuhtireuthiurehtiurehiturewtrewtretrtretewrtrewtretrertwrerwtrwtrwiethrewihtrwiehtiruewurihtiurwtrwtrwrwtetrretrewtrjtlreltrjltjrlwtrjtrelktjreltlrtrjlj

» Posted By Lola On 10.02.2015 @ 8:14 am

devastated

I feel devestated…not really. Hontestly I feel the opposite of devistated. My life is going for the best, not going down the drain. I may have lost some people along the way, but not enough to bring me to devestation. devestation is hopeless, and is hard to fix. Devestation happens after

» Posted By Lola On 01.04.2015 @ 5:04 pm

caramel

you said my eyes were like caramel, something different. you usually like girls with blue eyes, but mine were different. pretty, you said. something new, something unusual.

» Posted By Lola On 11.13.2014 @ 10:19 pm

disfigured

It was horrible and yet, he couldn’t look away. He was staring and he coudln’t even imagine the pain the person must be experiencing now, with him so blatantly looking at the scars littered al over the mans pale underweight body.

» Posted By lola On 07.09.2014 @ 2:42 am

vocal

He’s a vocal one isn’t he, she said harshly. She was a bitch, he could tell. He watched and tried not to care as she pushed the gag in his mouth and secured it tightly. It hurt, but what didn’t these days.

» Posted By lola On 07.08.2014 @ 1:15 am

strike

i never thought it would strike me to feel this way about someone. to feel as open, and honest, as natural as i could ever have believed. he struck down like lightning, this boy.

» Posted By Lola On 04.11.2014 @ 2:35 pm

deranged

mad
insane
weird
not wired right :)
crazy
cray cray
losing it
bonckers
marbles
wrong
bad

» Posted By lola On 03.10.2014 @ 11:20 am

mad
insane
weird
not wired right :)
crazy
cray cray
losing it
bonckers
marbles
wrong
bad
Thats the sound of sunshine coming down

» Posted By lola On 03.10.2014 @ 11:20 am

mad
insane
not sane
weird
not wired right :)
crazy
cray cray
losing it
bonckers
marbles

» Posted By lola On 03.10.2014 @ 11:18 am

idk
i dont know
i have no idea
what the word means?
idk idk idk i so dk
wt…?
idk man
so…. idk
idk!
i.d.k. i just dont know what that means

» Posted By lola On 03.10.2014 @ 11:15 am

stereotype

walking had always been more difficult than sticking a needle through my bare flesh. id rather stare at the blood race down my dry neglected skin a thousand times and stare as my dna traces my every outline and watch it seep through the indents and the pores. a visible mark to prove to those around me that i am alive not a demerit. while you watch with that naked eye asking me to abide to the rules that you inherit. how well did i know that i was alive. time passed me by & the blood became dark and dry, didn’t i realize that this was not for me, the sunshine, i mean. each step as loud as a drum when i hear the sound of your tongue burn words through my wounded flesh, im asking you to look through this stereotype of a mental illness that seems to possess my thoughts as i swim through this lagoon you call a pond while i try to fish for my sanity with a net. although it might be bigger than anette the whale. im struggling.. can’t you tell.

» Posted By Lola On 11.08.2013 @ 11:46 am

brisk

things were going too slow,
it felt as if everything was shattering
around me into pieces
in flashes of images

i couldn’t control my scenery
i asked what you could do for me

you said close your eyes and wait
you said all i had to do was sleep

our hands met our eyes followed
suddenly summer led to fall

we walked through the rest of the week
briskly lightly it didn’t really matter to me

our focus turned from the sun to the leaves
summer was over and autumn was more than near

and your voice was all i could hear even
with the colors all around us we forgot that seasons change

and people do too

» Posted By Lola On 10.28.2013 @ 6:49 pm

affection

and then she kicked ’em all out, except for one
I wonder if she knows what its like to have fun

I guess i’ll just sit here and pretend I didn’t see
and then process it all like I am she & she is me

now i’m just being silly, all i crave is your

A tt (ff) E (c) n TION

» Posted By Lola On 10.23.2013 @ 9:41 pm

She craved one thing more than anything else
She craved it more than she craved possessions

She knew not what it was or where to find it
She looked and she looked but it seemed to be a pointless

She locked herself in her room and took all her cats with her

And as much as she might have disliked me I was the only one who understood how deep the wound would get
when you crave affection so much you have to
hurt yourself instead

» Posted By Lola On 10.23.2013 @ 9:25 pm

stampede

soon you’ll disappear and you’ll have face them
no matter how invisible you think you are your fear won’t
help you evade them

if you manage to escape like a rock you’ll be forever frozen
but you’ll never escape earth’s erosion

there’s no use in hiding

run, run deep into the woods and wait for the foot soldiers
a stampede will devour your insides
it’s a part of corrosion

swim, swim further down into the ocean
pursue you they will, no matter the sacrifice

they’re here to wage a war against your nature
they want to know if you can fight back

will the curvature of your spin change
will it reverberate

they’re here to spill your blood, find out what you lack
there’s no need to capture you or your body

your anatomy they don’t desire
they want your mind and your thoughts
after all you’re a liar

listen close you might her them sing
a story they’ll tell, but you won’t hear the ending
the choir will know but you will continue guessing
“im here to devour you, what will you do
run, swim, crawl, walk it won’t make a difference
i’ll find you, i’ll hunt you
i’ll mask myself as more than an acquaintance”

has it ever occurred to you that what im saying might all be nonsense
i stay because i want to be a part of it all when it collapses

» Posted By Lola On 10.15.2013 @ 9:04 pm

parachute

i had not expected much
that day
i didn’t care at all if the sky
was gray
i jumped out and began to plummet

into a place no one knows
is sad and full of no hope

did i have a parachute or would i fall
into a world that wont let you stand tall

» Posted By Lola On 10.13.2013 @ 9:47 pm

scale

the scale is unbalance and im trying my hardest
the scale is unbalanced has anyone noticed

i ignore the scale because it tells me im not okay
but what can i do when theres no where to run away

the scale whispers its all your fault
the scale whispers its not in the stars

but what can i do where theres no where go
i ask the scale if theres anything i can do

the scale tells me i need to balance it out
i know all of the answers but my desires are deep

deep inside of my core and i want to tear them apart

» Posted By Lola On 10.11.2013 @ 9:40 pm

lunacy

sometimes i feel just like the moon
am i too close to this body of water and land
why cant i move away and find something
else to do

am i insane or do i constantly do everything
all over and over

i find myself repeating things, is this dejavu
or just a disorder

am i the moon or just a loner

» Posted By Lola On 10.07.2013 @ 5:04 am

sometimes i feel just like the moon
am i too close to this body of water and land
why cant i move away and find something
else to do

am i insane or do i constantly do everything
all over and over
i find myself repeating things, is this dejavu
or just a disorder

am i the moon or just a loser

» Posted By Lola On 10.07.2013 @ 4:57 am

gallery

display me like they do in the myriads of galleries
but never show them my face
show them what i look like when i cry
but never show them my face
show them what i look like when i feel like
im dying inside, but i beg you not to
show them my face

let them wonder what it’s like to live inside
this body and let them picture what it is like to
look through these eyes
but don’t show them that they are brown and
rich in texture, i’ll hide until i have no
where else to go, ill shut my eyes
and you wont exist anymore

make them see the pain the runs through
these veins, make them feel it in their veins
as if though it’s a flame they can’t escape
but don’t show them what i look like when im falling

instead show them what i see when im in the air
because when i fall ill see the ground
but when i fly i see billions and billions of lights
each one reminding me that its ok to fight

instead let them feel this heart that wins wars within
let them feel the strength with every small victory
let them feel the glory of being on top
let them know what it’s like to get back up

ill open up this ribcage and let you see
the heart that beats within this lonely me

and maybe if you feel the heavy weight suspended on these shoulders
ill stop in mid air and decide to dive
ill walk this earth with these tired thighs
ill follow the curve of your spine
and ask you to turn as i pry further inside
every atom through out your being

ill look at you through my window
and youll see me

» Posted By Lola On 10.05.2013 @ 11:44 pm

aura

It wasn’t something I heard often, and in between all those meaningless words she caught my attention. A light inside of me flickered when she said the word “aura”. She claimed to know all of our auras and the semblance of the stories within. My curiosity peaked with the idea that she might see the darkness inside of me. If she knew that at times it overpowered me and left me helpless, but I also questioned whether she could see the flaw in the system. I was fighting for my life and that flaw was no longer a flaw but a life line.. my only hope. A part of me will continue to fight until my knuckles bleed and until I am born again.

» Posted By Lola On 09.07.2013 @ 11:32 am

vapor

I need to get it all out of my head
and I need it to be as quick as water
becomes vapor with uncertainty,
about its decision
its metamorphosis

but I don’t want to know about it
I don’t want to talk about it

I just want it out, out of my head

» Posted By Lola On 07.30.2013 @ 1:43 am

I need to get it all out of my head
and I need it to be as quick as water
becomes vapor with uncertainty
about it’s decision
it’s metamorphosis

» Posted By Lola On 07.30.2013 @ 1:41 am

plaster

I plastered their faces on the wall
I wanted to see what they would look like
if they were all happy

My face didn’t belong up there with theirs

I couldn’t even muster the energy to go
on for as long as I should

The plaster dried up and I had no time
to prove to them, that I too could be happy

» Posted By Lola On 07.27.2013 @ 10:13 am

irreverent

“Why the hell are you being so irreverent?” I shouted at her. “Don’t you know my feelings count just as much as yours?”
She shrugged and batted her lashes, just like she always did. She knew perfectly well she could fool me around.

» Posted By Lola On 07.23.2013 @ 11:38 am

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