Comments Posted By china
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Fuming, I went for a brisk walk. I could barely handle myself anymore, let alone that room full of assholes. I was stupid to expect a peaceful day, and even stupider not to bring a jacket.
» Posted By china On 10.28.2013 @ 6:56 pm
“Shit. SHIT.” It wasn’t good enough. I balled up yet another sheet of paper and chucked it so hard that one side of it flattened before landing in the trash. I wasn’t good enough.
» Posted By china On 10.09.2013 @ 6:09 pm
It’s another restless night. I’m here, you’re there. I’m writing awful poems about you and how wonderful it could be to love you and you’re out being normal somewhere not pining over a girl who’ll never love you.
» Posted By china On 10.08.2013 @ 8:49 pm
I looked away as tears slowly fell down her cheeks. I hated these moments.
In these moments, the bitter details of life are all apparent in her eyes as she tries to pretend she’s not broken. I hated these moments.
» Posted By china On 03.30.2013 @ 8:23 pm
You weren’t supposed to see me like this. Hold on, let me get cleaned up.
See? All better now, right?
Hey, don’t look at me like that. Y-you know I didn’t want this, I didn’t mean it.
Please, don’t go.
» Posted By china On 03.25.2013 @ 1:03 pm
Do not run from me. I am not him. I can be tender. I can control these hands, itching for adventure. I am not him.
» Posted By china On 03.21.2013 @ 6:42 pm
I try to be an upright citizen. I pay taxes, pick up after my dog, I even give someone else the parking space that I’m significantly closer to.
So why do I feel so empty?
» Posted By china On 05.04.2012 @ 5:51 pm
With a slight of his hand, he ended her life so quickly. So easily.
If only I should be so lucky to have the same fate.
» Posted By china On 04.19.2012 @ 3:49 pm
Flip-flop, back and forth, just like you do. You sit there, wearing a smile on your face. Paint yourself as the innocent one.
We see who you are. You’re a scumbag. A dirty little fuck who thrives on the pain of others.
You fucking suck.
» Posted By china On 04.03.2012 @ 6:56 pm
There was some oily residue on the bottom of the table. She pulled her hand back in disgust. “Ew, what is that?”
“I don’t know.” He never knew anything. He knew his cards, he knew his drinks, but he didn’t know anything else. Except maybe how to ruin a house.
» Posted By china On 03.23.2012 @ 7:24 pm
I’m convinced he doesn’t love her. He just wants her because for a moment he feels the power. He has her around her finger and all she ever wanted was to be loved. We watch from a distance, hoping we don’t judge too harshly, although we can’t see anything right with that relationship. I want to scream, “run!” or tell her not to let him control her like that, but girls are raised with the need to love and be loved, and she’ll do anything to hold onto that.
» Posted By china On 09.23.2011 @ 6:14 pm
I used to sit on her lap all the time. She’d sing me songs, and give me candy, and tell me I was the sweetest kid. We’d play together, and I couldn’t picture a time when I wouldn’t be happy in my mother’s arms. That is, until she got sick.
» Posted By china On 09.21.2011 @ 7:12 pm
Average. That’s all I am. Nothing to be remembered, held deeply. No one even has the energy to hate me. Because I’m average. Being average means people can pick you up or drop you off at will, and it doesn’t matter. Being average means you don’t have real emotions, you’re just neutral. No one thinks you’re allowed to be angry, or sad, or too happy. You have to be what they need. But I guess it’s better then being alone.
» Posted By china On 09.15.2011 @ 2:43 pm
I account for any of this. How did this happen? I can’t find a reason to smile, to stay safe, to live. I’ll weakly fake a smile and barely cover my scars and stand on the ledge hoping I’ll accidentally slip. I want to want to be different. I know I’m disappointing people. I wish I cared more.
» Posted By china On 09.14.2011 @ 7:41 pm
Hover, hover, hover! That’s all I ever do!
Maybe if I weren’t so good at hovering, I’d be good at keeping you.
If I loved smart, and not so hard
Maybe you’d be here and not so far
And I wouldn’t be drunk on the floor of this bar
And maybe I’d care ’bout drunk-driving this car
Hover, hover, hover, that’s all I ever do,
I guess I’ll hover up above, impatiently waiting for you.
» Posted By china On 09.11.2011 @ 7:47 pm
She had strong features, defined, distinguished. She was a butterfly, floating from task to task, beautifully, and everywhere she went a bit of her pure joy rubbed off on those that surrounded her. I miss those days. Now she drags her feet, under the solid arm of the man she thought would be her Prince Charming.
» Posted By china On 09.10.2011 @ 6:47 pm
Existence.What a funny thing it is. Just milling around space, hoping that at some point we figure out where we’re supposed to be. We put ourselves in places only to find out that we don’t quite fit. So we push. And push. And push. And then we quit. Because after a while we learn that trying is pointless.
» Posted By china On 09.07.2011 @ 12:07 pm
How cute! She hopped along the sidewalk carefully, insisting that she was trying not to step on any ants. She always had that big smile on her face, always excited, always joyful. It scared me to think that one day she’d be all grown up, wearing makeup to look pretty for a boy who doesn’t appreciate her, giving her all for people who don’t care enough, and figuring that not everyone walks through life trying not to step on the ants.
» Posted By china On 09.05.2011 @ 4:59 pm
She was addicted to pepper. She put it on everything. Even peanut butter and syrup sandwiches. She was a strange child, one no one could really pin down. Was she just eccentric? Did she have some disorder? Did her scribbles mean something dangerous or were they just scribbles? No one knew, and neither did she. But she knew she liked pepper.
» Posted By china On 09.03.2011 @ 7:50 pm
I sat, feeling the salt on the floor. She was so superstitious, always throwing salt over her shoulder no matter how much she spilled. I always laughed at her for it. Now I would give anything to see her eyes widening and the salt floating over her shoulder like doves flying from a cage.
» Posted By china On 09.02.2011 @ 7:43 pm
I stared blankly into the sink. Squeeze. I looked back, trying to remember the last time I laughed. Squeeze. Remembered when the word ‘friend’ didn’t make me cringe. Squeeze. When the marks on my skin were accidental and so was any loneliness. Squeeze.
» Posted By china On 09.01.2011 @ 7:03 pm
Oh, that secretary. Always typing busily, hiding behind her monitor. Coops herself up in her tiny space, with a ponytail. I wonder why she insists on hiding. What are her secrets? Is she afraid? What is she afraid of? …Why?
» Posted By china On 08.28.2011 @ 1:39 am
“No!” She screamed and ran from me. I had never felt so cruel. She didn’t want to be here with me, I had forced her. And now I was the bad guy because my own daughter didn’t want to spend time with me. I made her come out to the lake and now she won’t get on a boat. She hated me, and she would never stop.
» Posted By china On 08.25.2011 @ 6:14 pm
He held up his umbrella for me. How sweet, I thought. It’d been a while since someone had been so sweet to me. Honestly, last time it rained I ended up pushed in the mud. So this was nice. I don’t if I could ever really love him, or if he’ll ever really love me, but this, right now, is nice.
» Posted By china On 08.24.2011 @ 5:31 pm
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She lay there, her skin like silk, each wrinkle telling a different story. I wanted so badly to smooth her out, iron her heart, keep her from hurting. At the same time, I wondered if I could love her same. I mean, I would her fragility, her midnight breakdowns, much as I hate to say it. It gave me power.
» Posted By china On 08.24.2011 @ 1:17 am