Comments Posted By ass

Displaying 1 To 9 Of 9 Comments


bite into me.
i am a cake
soft, fluffy, oh so chocolaty.
i shall bury holes into you.

slurp and i’ll turn you brown
you are a wall
a gate. a weapon

» Posted By ass On 10.21.2012 @ 9:20 pm


Take charge they say. Take charge of your life. charge. i could charge my phone right now. and talk to someone. that would involve taking charge. but then they will charge me for it. and i will lose charge in money, and electricity.

» Posted By ass On 10.21.2012 @ 8:42 am


I am related to my mother and I have no toes. I was pulled out of her uterus with salad tongs gripping my head. Then, they put me on the salad and poured Ranch dressing all over me. They sprinkled me with croutons and nibbled my toes. That is how I am related to my mom and have no toes.

» Posted By ass On 10.20.2011 @ 6:35 pm


“I’ll go scout the area, while you two assholes stay HERE.” He pointed to the ground as he whispered the instructions loudly.

As he tiptoed away, I looked at you and we rolled our eyes. “Pfft. That guy’s a dick.” You said. You suggested that we go somewhere else.

» Posted By ass On 10.14.2011 @ 7:24 pm


If you give me that look one more time, just one more fucking time, I’m going to smack it right off your fucking face. Then, I’m going to shit all over your stacks of papers that you leave all over the damn place.

» Posted By ass On 10.10.2011 @ 8:01 pm


I bet I can eat all that shit in one setting.

No you can’t.

Fuck you. NOM NOM NOM!

Holy bat balls! That guy just ate 100 hot dogs in one setting!

He’s going to fart out of his ass later tonight.

» Posted By ass On 10.06.2011 @ 9:28 pm


I warned you not to touch the hot water. I warned you that it would singe off your fingerprints. Now you have only bones at the tips of your fingers. Maybe next time I warn you to do something, you’ll heed my warning. My next warning is to not touch your eye.

» Posted By ass On 10.05.2011 @ 3:02 pm


so i walked down to the stor the other day and i happend to find a sheep, the sheep asked me if i knew who krusty the clown was, i said no. the sheep looked offended, and then he began to go on and on about the liberal media, so we debaatied long into the night, untill eventualy a russian scientist explained we were gay.

» Posted By ass On 01.01.1970 @ 12:00 am


i can snap with almost every finger of mine. i have not yet conquered the art of snapping with my pinky, but I feel with hard work and the determination my people are known for, I will do it soon. the best snap is a loud one.

» Posted By ass On 02.01.2010 @ 6:22 pm

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