Comments Posted By Zoe Jen

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vacant

We were at arms’ length, but we couldn’t be any more apart. I find myself pleading, trying to delay the inevitable. His eyes, which used to be longing for me, are now vacantly staring ahead. Maybe he’s looking at an array of possibilities, a blank canvass to start over upon. Suddenly I’m not part of the picture anymore.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 07.26.2017 @ 5:26 pm

radius

It was supposed to go full circle. We would stay together, and we’ll withstand the trials together. You were not supposed to be on that bar that Thursday night, and suddenly reconnect with a past love supposedly over and done with. Now I’m left alone desperately trying to reach you, struggling to pretend our perfect little circle remains when in fact I’m just stringing along the radius, with no one to meet me halfway.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 06.28.2017 @ 6:55 am

champagne

It was the golden hour, and her champagne dress flowed all around the floor. They have never seen a debutante this charming, so intoxicated with happiness and brimming with the future’s possibilities.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 01.15.2017 @ 8:25 pm

tradition

She wasn’t supposed to question it, nor think about it. It was tradition after all–her ancestors, grandparents, even her own parents’ marriage was fixed. It’s also not as if she has someone else she loves. But to actually be in a loveless union, to mechanically go about family life, and for years on end, how can she possibly stomach the thought?

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 01.02.2017 @ 6:45 pm

coat

She coats her cynicism with those sweet, cloying words that make her seem all the more alluring. Yet when all alone, stripped down, and bare, she’s actually just as desperate as everyone else.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 10.01.2016 @ 10:11 am

pointed

His pointed finger was always on me, no matter how much I keep trying to make amends. It will never happen again, I whisper over and over to myself more than to him, despite knowing fully that he can never trust me and look at me as before. I pray everyday that we see if continuing this relationship has truly been worth it. After all, once paranoia sets in, how can you possibly get back your peace of mind?

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 09.06.2016 @ 9:02 am

van

Summers at my hometown always give me nostalgia. The long drives in our family van, with the sweltering heat irritating us despite the faulty AC cranking its lowest possible temperature setting. Lazy afternoons where we would just lie on the grass and not give a care at all. That quaint town has always been boring then, but it’s the only respite I look forward to now.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 09.05.2016 @ 6:50 am

structure

My life is so mapped out, it’s almost laughable. I was the girl who always had a plan, who had every possible back-up and contingency. I prided myself in being prepared. When the structures and machinations suddenly turned against me, I was sure I am adept to handle it. I was so, very, too sure, which made me crumble all the more when I finally realized I was wrong.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 08.09.2016 @ 7:20 pm

regroup

It was a break for a reason. It’s high time I reassess my individuality, and let go of this blind notion that we were a team. The relationship was turning dysfunctional, even though I tried so hard to carry on regardless. And I guess this exactly was the problem, only I was carrying on. I badly needed to regroup my thoughts, alone, as they seem to have turned to mush as of late.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 07.06.2016 @ 3:28 am

darkness

I keep on fumbling to find my way through the darkness, but I am getting so weary. I am afraid that I have already exhausted all my efforts to no avail. Is this really where I’m meant to be, lost and confused and very lonely?

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 06.10.2016 @ 7:21 am

towers

She is back to square one, with towers upon towers to climb. Years ago, she would have never thought that ambition would get the best of her, slowly turning her into someone she can’t even recognize anymore. She used to be contented, having learned to settle peacefully early on in her life. But now that she’s overworking in order to maximize her potentials, she seemed empty. Where do you draw the fine line between enough and excessive?

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 05.24.2016 @ 8:14 pm

outfit

It’s never her demeanor, no matter how “overly friendly” she seemed to you. It’s never her sexuality, never the number of partners she’s had. It’s never her outfit, or the fact that she’s drunk. Never the time as well. You don’t get to blame a rape victim just because you can’t keep your animal instincts in place.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 05.22.2016 @ 5:14 pm

cult

The movie was a sleeper hit, but quickly had cult following once it gained traction. It wasn’t picturesque, it wasn’t extraordinary, it wasn’t futuristic. Yet, it had heart and soul, and the director realized that sometimes, these are the only things we ever need.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 05.20.2016 @ 1:18 am

chaos

Everything was out of place, and I was at wit’s end trying to solve one problem after the other. It was an orchestrated chaos, but to me it was simply a mess. Little did I know that everyone around me was bringing me down, while they led me to believe they were truly there for me. I trusted them wholeheartedly, thinking they were listening to my cries, but they were only waiting for the final straw to make me collapse.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 05.18.2016 @ 12:35 am

tale

Despite meeting upon the most cliche premise, we were so naive to think that our story was different. We deluded ourselves into thinking that this relationship would weave the most special tale we’d ever tell, that our feelings are steadfast enough to last.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 05.17.2016 @ 12:17 am

abundant

The fields are brimming, abundant with the season’s harvest. Just as the farmers put all their efforts in cultivating the lands, they are able to reap what they sow. I wish so fervently that the same is true with life, that as long as I work hard enough, I will be able to earn my keep. Ah, but life is not as fair,

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 04.28.2016 @ 2:48 am

prime

He was way past his prime, and he knew it. The panic attacks were sudden, big bursts of regret tinged anxiety that would last for hours. All he could do was curl on his bed and try his best to focus on other things. The medications could only do so much, and as they waned off, slowly, he is brought back to the pathetic state he can’t seem to escape.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 04.26.2016 @ 8:08 pm

noticed

I was so captivated by him that I barely noticed the red flags, the warning signs that have been there from the start. I was so focused in making the relationship work that I completely swallowed my pride, letting him dictate what he needs me to be. I suppose what they say is true, when you’re looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses, you fail to see the roaring fire in front of you.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 04.25.2016 @ 8:28 pm

comedy

Like a dark comedy, I had lost my fiance the eve of our wedding. I couldn’t even tell he was uncertain, nothing was off about him. He wasn’t even trying so hard to conceal what he was going to do, he just seemed normal.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 04.24.2016 @ 11:42 pm

dough

When you’re born in a world where you kill or get killed, where your whole family expects you to bring home the dough, where you have no other choice than be tough, what can you do?

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 04.03.2016 @ 6:05 am

scientific

It is very disheartening, to say the least, to know how less your country’s efforts are for scientific advancement. In a third-world country such as ours, budding scientists are left with no other choice than find adequate countries interested in their life’s works.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 04.01.2016 @ 2:05 am

lightweight

They both expected a multitude of feelings after the separation–guilt, sadness, anger even, but they are surprised they’d be this relieved. They never realized how toxic the relationship was, how unhappy they both were trying to salvage what was left. Now they seem to be floating lightweight and freely, as if they’re suddenly released from the heavy burden of the 5-year coupling.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 03.31.2016 @ 12:34 am

swerve

We were on the road for hours, and I was starting to think this 16-hour drive may not be worth it. He was starting to get cranky, something I attributed to his being moody. As I was just about to doze off, he suddenly swerves the car off course, hitting the ledge of the bridge. I have never been this terrified for my life. Is this the same man that I care so dearly for?

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 03.28.2016 @ 6:12 pm

newborn

I held the newborn in my arms, yet felt nothing. I questioned myself, over and over, why I can not be like normal mothers–nurturing and at peace with the most natural thing in the world they’re meant to do. I can’t seem to understand why I never thought the same. The infant shifted in my arms, craving for warmth, but I can not provide her what she needs.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 03.26.2016 @ 10:27 pm

turn

Time was turning even faster than she expected. Before, she couldn’t wait to get out of that little town; eager to put everything behind her. Now, all she’s left with are the memories, the idyllic period of her life that she longed to get back. Unfortunately, regret doesn’t work that way. It subtly claws through, little by little, until you’re overwhelmed with pain and sorrow and guilt.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 03.24.2016 @ 11:41 pm

outsider

I have never felt more alone. This was supposed to be a new beginning, brimming with hopes and possibilities. Yet, I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin, I can’t seem to belong. I am an outsider, an invisible entity viewing other people’s lives, without knowing how to fully live.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 03.23.2016 @ 7:05 am

endless

She had been walking for hours, in a seemingly endless maze she can’t get out of. The moon is now creeping out, trees forming sinister shadows as the deep night lurks within the forest. “How did I end up in this situation?” she wondered.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 03.22.2016 @ 1:01 am

angels

He was uncertain, but hopeful. He remembered his philosophy lectures on Marcel’s hope, how you can only ever hope when you really have nothing left save for despair. He was so afraid, but his being ached for an answer. He felt as if every thing led to this moment, and when she finally said “yes,” he truly believed that angels do exist.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 03.21.2016 @ 2:36 am

peripheral

It was almost time, as the cheers from the crowd were getting louder. As the stage revolved, she saw the bright lights in her peripheral vision. She clenched her fists and screamed to at least relieve the tension. She is ready,

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 03.13.2016 @ 8:20 pm

reflecting

She sat on the bench alone, the sun radiating its heat on her bare arms. She remembered the past, reflecting upon its idyllic state.

» Posted By Zoe Jen On 03.09.2016 @ 5:27 pm

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