Comments Posted By Z

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The cars rumbled on down the road
The rumble of thunder overhead gave me a fright
Her low rumble was reminiscent of a dog’s
The rumble of a fast approaching train

» Posted By z On 08.21.2018 @ 12:29 am


I teeter on the edge of sanity, knowing this habit will be the end of me. I want to crush this obsession, I want to quash it before my body betrays my thoughts. I want to rend apart all I cannot let go of, to wash my veins free of these stains. I want to be able to sleep at three past midnight without being haunted, to be removed from this madness echoing loudly and clearly.

My bitter sneer at the thought of you is how I stop loving you. My dismissive attitude at the drop of your name is how I walk away. My indifference at the sight of you is how I’ll keep up my lies.

» Posted By Z On 06.16.2016 @ 9:03 pm


As though she had seen through the veil of adulthood. As though the world has already cast its weary gaze upon her already, the world barely knew her existence. As though she had been through the pains of leaving home, travelling across lands and seas to finally belong somewhere.

Twenty-one, she says, neither here nor there. Twenty-one, she says with empty bank accounts and a bitterness that causes everyone around her to be slightly more uncomfortable. Twenty-one, says she who has undoubtedly experienced a lifetime of loss and love, who can comprehend nothing more than the (first of many) existential crises only she goes through right now.

Now tell me, twenty-one, how your life measures up to mine.

» Posted By Z On 06.15.2016 @ 7:50 pm


Everything was in place. I stood there, gawking stupidly; you were busy, washing something. Leaving all my lines and most of my intelligence in my previous step, my jaw simply hung open because – once again – you’ve stunned me into oblivion.

No longer can I pretend I recognize words; no longer can I pretend you do nothing to my racing heart. Nor can I tolerate the harrowed aching through my veins and muscles, the desolation left marred by my highly imaginative mind. I sorely lack the courage to look into your eyes; I sorely need to hear your laugh again, that twinkle of a chuckle.

But foolishly, I have cornered myself. My heart may yearn for you but I know I can never make you as happy as you’d make me.

» Posted By Z On 06.14.2016 @ 2:26 am


Old friend, how have you been.

I always forget how you ride along, just in the backseat as my automated day goes past. I always wonder if you’re there but you reassure me with just enough doubt to drive my mood from hero to zero. So – welcome back, and enjoy this desolate wasteland you have created, this shell of a human barely functioning.

You have front row seats this time, no need to hide in the back. I welcome you to the madness you’ve bestowed: a Carnevale delle Tenebrae if you will. So – relax, I’ll hand you some snacks in a bit, and let’s enjoy the trainwreck happening in slow-motion.

» Posted By Z On 06.09.2016 @ 10:11 pm


I asked for a sign, I guess this was it.

Or perhaps I’m reading too deep into the lines and just connected the uncorrelated dots anyway.


My heart stilled so quickly yesterday. If any machines had been attached to me, they would have either seen my madness surface or an absolute flatline. I forgot to breathe in your presence. I forgot to think in your presence. I forgot to formulate sentences in your presence – more than that – words.

I stood like a fool, awkwardly asking questions that didn’t matter, talking about the mundane things while my heart pounded away in my chest, my soul yearning to recognise something.

Again, maybe the dots weren’t related at all.

I do not know how to stand around you: where my hands should be, how my shoulders should roll. I do not know how to look at you: where my gaze should land, which excruciatingly perfect part of you to not focus on. I do not know how to speak to you: what words could possibly come out of this fumbling fool to be worthy enough for your attention.

I thought I knew all I wanted.

» Posted By Z On 06.02.2016 @ 10:27 pm


I wore my heart upon them but you did not see. Perhaps you did but could not comprehend my crazed musings or the organized madness that I’ve created.

My eyes will forever trace the white hems of your shirt, to the toned curves of your arm. They will follow the gentle slope of your neck to the nape of it, where the brilliance begins. They will immortalize the shape of your chocolate eyes as they crinkled when you smiled at me.

I’ve spilt more than I should upon the clothes I wear, the words I speak, the melodies I write.

Behind closed lids, all I see is you.

You haunt it all.

» Posted By Z On 06.01.2016 @ 2:34 am


I stared out the window, the hustle and bustle of the city passed by me without noticing. I ignored the magnificent buildings and the swaying trees, the summer light that cast its warm yellow glow, the laughing children and hurrying people.

No, I ignored it all for I couldn’t keep you out of my mind.

Even an inanimate object that transports people send my mind reeling to the moments I have of you. How I imagine we’d meet at the bus stop and get to talking, how my stories would hopefully amuse you, how I would be fortunate enough to see the spark ignite in your eyes when you laugh. How I imagine us sharing a smoke, the night coating us in its enigmatic poetry and we will talk quietly, as men commonly do in the night. And I’d stare upon your beauty as though my eyes have been opened for the first time, my heart would soar at the sound of your melodic chuckle, my mind would yearn to know yours better.

This insanity has to be stopped.

» Posted By Z On 05.30.2016 @ 3:02 am


I fear your chocolate brown hues have guessed my intentions; I fear your penetrating gaze has glanced into the depths of my desire; I fear your ears hearing the pounding of my thundering heart.

I shake in your presence, for I am humbled by the elegance and confidence you exude. My chest is wound with the words I will never say, the questions I will never ask. I quake as your eyes pass over me, setting my nerves alight.

Here I am before you, completely bare, completely naked.

» Posted By Z On 05.15.2016 @ 9:39 pm


All I’m waiting for is that smile.

One that fixes my day, one that enchants me. One that makes difficult days pass by slightly faster, one that quenches my thirst. One that sends shudders so violent up my spine, one that stills my turbulent heart.

Just let me know if you’d let me love you.

» Posted By Z On 05.01.2016 @ 12:50 am


Five times I’ve met you, and only once I’ve decided to do something and before anything could happen, I saw the entirety of our possible future crashing down. You would have been the inexplicable smirk in the middle of my day, the beat my heart skips when I meet your brown hues. You would have been the involuntary glint in my eyes, the melody in each of my compositions. You would have been the insoluble fascination of my life, the unsung words to epics you’ve inspired.

You would have settled this turmoiled soul who has yearned for a fire to call home.

Yet I laugh, because what else if not for missed rainchecks and craved opportunities that could make a story worthy? If not for heartaches and tragedy, if not for tugged heartstrings and harrowed cries into the night?

» Posted By Z On 04.24.2016 @ 10:04 pm


I knew because the entire universe was reflected in the perfect specks in your eyes. I knew because the sun could not stop caressing your hair. I knew because light bent around you to colour you in the most beautiful tones and hues.

You are the explosion at the beginning: shocking everything into life, breathing new air into all I see. You are the flare so bright, my soul felt its resonance within the slivers of refractions. You are the warmth running through sullen veins, refreshing yet deadly.

Desire ascends as memories fade; ’tis but a first.

» Posted By Z On 04.22.2016 @ 9:14 pm


Maybe my heart deserves this turmoil.

Maybe I want this feeling of utter madness of nights I stay up with a personal slideshow of memories, where the few sentences exchanged have borne epics from this imaginative mind. It’s a helpless and pathetic struggle of ‘what if’s and ‘maybe’s – words unsaid; glances not caught; breath stuck in chest.

How you lit every nerve on fire, every fibre on edge. How your cool gaze penetrated my soul, and in that moment I was afraid – afraid that you could read my fascination like it was inked on my skin. How your soft grin sent a shudder to the depths of me, my heart soaked in saccharine and could barely exhale. How your dulcet voice lulled me onto the cliff, the plunge was gladly and willingly taken.

This fire needs to be stopped.

» Posted By Z On 04.19.2016 @ 10:57 pm


Your voice is stuck in my head, on repeat because I will it to be. How you grinned and told me your name, and in that moment the few frames of my poor memory has fed my obsession for weeks. You’re too cool for one, but I’d hug you to death with a mixtape of ballads and old R’n’B.

» Posted By Z On 04.18.2016 @ 9:25 pm


“Stunning,” was all I breathed.

Amidst the white and night, and where coffee’s pungent aroma rose from pots of chrome and black, you stood. My heart skipped before I even saw your heavenly visage, the tint of your hair had already intrigued me more than my heartstrings could manage. My blood ran from fire to cold ice in a matter of heartbeats and that breath I didn’t know I held gave me the reprieve of a thousand heartaches. Is this what the greatest Romantics meant when they felt the presence of their soulmate?

» Posted By Z On 04.18.2016 @ 12:25 am


Deep breath,
just once more
Perform your best
your flight, cutting through the air
your hands, weighed

behind that mask
behind the charade,
your heart pounds so fast
you can feel it in your toes

flippant and flipping,
you refuse to follow Gravity’s will
sailing and dipping,
the audiences’ gasps are drowned out by
the blood rushing in your ears
they all stare in horror,
they all stare in pleasure,
as you risk your life for that fleeting moment

but the exhilaration!
that rush of electricity up and over your ever nerve
the mild vibrations that turn your quivering lips,
once afraid and chattering,
into a wild smile,
wide and infectuous

you land,
tens on four faces
tens in all our hearts

» Posted By Z On 03.04.2016 @ 3:00 am


You will always be first
among the many other concerns
that add to the daily mix of head and heartaches

Despite the torrid state
of my current stagnancy
of my broken symphony
of my unwritten legacy

You will always be first
among the bold-print headlines
above the needs of my own

Tunnel vision,
you’d chuckle
That’s how I love,
I’d hold my tongue

» Posted By Z On 02.03.2016 @ 11:07 pm


the rainbow and its infinite possibilities
your eyes and your smile but your heart doesn’t belong to me
and neither do I belong here
Not with you,
not this time.

Maybe in another spectrum, another dimension, another space,
I’ll drive you as crazy as you drive me

» Posted By z On 02.02.2016 @ 9:10 am


Take it, take everything. Run, run before it’s too late. Run before the sun set of the horizon, run before the wind changes direction. Run with all your might and however fast your legs take you. Wherever you stop, stay there, and find your happy place.

» Posted By Z On 12.19.2015 @ 10:13 am

Run, run away. Get yourself away from the troubles in your life. Leave everything, leave you burdens, leave them all behind. Find your safe haven, find your happy place, and stay there. For as long as you need..if that’s forever, then so be it.

» Posted By Z On 12.19.2015 @ 10:04 am


A statue is something that never changes. That is, unless someone harms it, or thinks it needs to be improved.

The statue in Russia was so large and overwhelming, I could not bear to look at it for too long. It frightened me. It was like a looming reminder of a past that failed to remain in its place.

» Posted By Z On 07.31.2015 @ 11:33 am


Just do it. this i hard to write about because it is talking about sound.
We cannot see sound we can only hear it. It can’t be eaten but it can be felt. It is in my eardrum and it is beaufiful

» Posted By Z On 02.11.2014 @ 6:22 am


You are offering me something I do not want, and I will politely listen until you are finished with your script and well rehearsed lines. Then I will smile, shake my head, and close the door in your face. I am not buying it, or you, and especially not that suit you’re wearing.

» Posted By Z On 02.07.2013 @ 4:50 pm


I watch as you emerge from the door
In all the glory of the late afternoon shooting from behind you
like a halo
as you slowly climb under the covers
next to me

» Posted By Z On 12.10.2012 @ 9:12 pm


Local cuisine, black sausages with lingonberry sauce, bought a tiny kiosk near the railway station. Weather, the skies get dark around three am as autumn crawls towards winter, and it will be a month before the days start getting longer. The city is cold and dirty and the Christmas lights lit two weeks ago do nothing to cheer it up. They look out of place. Just like me in this strange place, that only person who never learned to eat those sausages. They’ve got blood in them, they taste of iron. Just like winter.

» Posted By Z On 11.27.2012 @ 8:19 am

Nothing of any desire.
Repetitive nonsence of oprobious behaviour.
Someone i wish to leave.
Somewhere i wish to go.

» Posted By z On 11.26.2012 @ 3:06 pm


i don’t know
if i like
you are not my type
but the bananas in the kitchen are getting
too ripe

» Posted By Z On 11.12.2012 @ 10:14 pm

who is important
and means nothing to anyone else
i want that person around for me
In place of myself
Ive tried self loathing
But i cant seem to get it down

» Posted By z On 11.12.2012 @ 12:39 pm


fifty shades of grey
not me or my personality
reminds me of a man
the color black

» Posted By z On 10.09.2012 @ 9:11 pm


I havent drank water in days. I feel like I have nothing left in me, I yearn for the wetness of something liquid in my mouth. I need to swallow some water, get it in my system before i can’t go on any longer. Please I dont want to be dehydrated anymore, i need the

» Posted By z On 08.31.2012 @ 5:17 pm

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