Comments Posted By Tarryn

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deranged

I am deranged
Estranged
Fully loaded
A ghost with the ability to rip
You heart is nothing
It will not save you
Not when the deranged girl
The can’t be saved girl
Gets to it
Because I will eat it while it’s
Still beating
Beating up what you have given me
I am deranged
I am

» Posted By Tarryn On 03.10.2014 @ 9:29 pm

witnessed

I’ve never witnessed anything like how you hated me
I couldn’t understand, all I’d ever done was try to please you
But I smothered, I guess
I was crazy and uncessary
Or so you told me
You couldn’t imagine staying in one place for so long
One place with one person, the way I had decided to stay with you
But the decision was never really mine, was it?
It wasn’t.

» Posted By Tarryn On 03.05.2014 @ 9:35 pm

listening

I keep listening to this voice inside my head
It takes away any of my perfect words
And leaves me with a doubt I cannot conquer
I have no words, am left fathomless
Where do I go from here
My fingers are stuck, locked, failing at creating poignant thoughts
Nothing happens
Nothing here
Nothing
Nothing

» Posted By Tarryn On 03.24.2013 @ 11:36 pm

sate

How does one sate a thirst for death
Not that of others
But that for oneself
I know.
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» Posted By Tarryn On 12.19.2012 @ 9:20 pm

game

Game, game, game
I cannot think about what comes to mind when I see the word game
Because I just saw The Hobbit
AND I AM DYING
I DON’T KNOW HOW I SURVIVED
OH MY GOD
NO MORE
THIS IS THE LONGEST MINUTE EVER
THE HOBBIT MAKES TIME GO BY SLOWER
PERMANENTLY
MAKE THIS END I CANNOT THINK
S:FDLJAS:JLD

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.18.2012 @ 10:48 pm

five

Five seconds ago you were mine, I swear it.
A mere
one
two
three
four
five
But now, I only see your silhouette in the distance
Roaming farther and father away from me
Five seconds ago I had everything
And now it’s five months later and I still hear the clock strike backward
five
four
three
two
one
Backwards into the depths of your blue

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.17.2012 @ 5:42 pm

due

Hush now baby, don’t say a word
I know that you’re scared and want to go home
It’s due time for your tears to all stop
But you’re locked in a closet and you can hear the gun shots
I can tell you that it’ll all be okay; it’ll be a lie but they’ll remember your name
And moments from now your fear will go away

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.16.2012 @ 5:57 pm

stir

These feelings, I cannot contain them. They are overwhelming me; controlling my every thought. I cannot breath without feeling them stir deep inside. Threatening to bubble over, they need to be noticed. They need to be fulfilled. But there is nothing I can do to quell this desire and maintain my own dignity.

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.15.2012 @ 10:37 pm

living

Living and breathing inside of glass, pressed flat and unfeeling between sheets of sharp, cornered guilt. How is anyone supposed to dream or believe when eyes are wide-open at a mouth of blood and filth. There is no salvation here.

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.14.2012 @ 10:36 pm

patient

I’ve been so patient with my love
So selfless, though no one would ever believe
I’ve let it go now that I’ve gotten it
It’s for the greater good
They’re better off, I’m desperately not
I’ve set you free as I sink

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.13.2012 @ 10:01 pm

determined

She is determine to fail because she can’t do anything else right.
Failing and losing and not being anyone’s choice: these are the only things she is good at. So she will fail and she will do so to everyone’s lowest expectations. She will not fight it, she will thrive in it. When you’re a failure, it is everything and anything.

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.12.2012 @ 9:05 pm

available

Where is this pressure coming from
I am alone in this room
All alone and so untouched
Covered in dust and left to my thoughts
It feels like winter in my mind
And no one is available to keep me warm
There is nothing but this frost
That kisses my eyelashes
But I am still so lonely

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.11.2012 @ 6:57 pm

presented

I’ve been presented with a terrible reality
It has bared down on me like an ocean wave
Unrelenting and determined, it will demolish me
Sweeping me from off the unstable ground I’m shaking on
I’m lost and tumbling beneath the wreckage
I’m drowning
I’m losing
I’m-

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.10.2012 @ 9:08 pm

methods

I am curled up inside my thoughts. Letting pleasant ideas and repressed pain keep me floating. But I am floating past responsibilities and ignoring expectation. Lost in these methods of living a lie. Realizing it really isn’t living – not really. But this is how I survive the day.

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.09.2012 @ 10:13 pm

broadcast

You broadcast your shame for all of us to hear
You scribble it black and red all over these walls
Plastered on billboards and scrawled on your skin
You’re collecting all your tears in jars only to show them all to us
You need to prove your pain
You need someone to care
It only leaves us caring less

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.08.2012 @ 8:48 pm

July

July has never meant much to me
You always get a little older
And I am never there with you
July is just a passerby
That whispers to me what I am missing
It tells me of what I have lost
What I have yet to do
And of the hardship ahead
It drips down my spine
Oh, July

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.07.2012 @ 8:31 pm

roof

I’ve never sat on top of a roof
Only in my fantasies
I escape from my world and stare up at the sky
Hair snagging on shingles and wind blowing my face
Eyes glued to wisps of clouds or pinpricks of stars
No glasses adorn my face so I squint
But not as much as I have to when I am
stuck
on
the
ground

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.06.2012 @ 7:23 pm

simple

I can’t remember when things were simple
Was it when I was just a child, playing with dolls and obsessing over crayons?
No, because innocence was lost there
I can’t remember things
ever
being
simple

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.05.2012 @ 9:16 pm

higher

Getting higher
Falling farther
Buried deeper
Staining your fingertips with memories of me
Alive in your soul and dead beneath your feet
Higher above you than ever before
You fall to your knees and can no longer breathe

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.04.2012 @ 9:27 pm

both

They are both all consuming.
One lets his flames slowly flicker, blossoming up the curtains and licking at the walls. Carefully confining me in its warmth.
The other burns bright and hot, spreading quickly and demolishing all in its path. I am burning and he has no remorse. The other fervently apologizes for destruction and yet…it’s never felt so good to be in pain.

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.03.2012 @ 8:06 pm

object

I object to the way I live my life because it’s hardly living.
I object to to feeling as though everyone is above me, even though I don’t know how to feel any other way.
I object to the idea that I cannot be whoever I want to be, even though I don’t know who I am at all.
I object to each breath I’m breathing, because it’s a breath I did nothing with.

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.02.2012 @ 8:16 pm

cook

I have been staring at the word ‘cook’ until half of my time is already up. I don’t know what to say about the word. My mind is scrambled and I am definitely not feeling poetic or existential or intelligent. Cook is staring at me in large, black letters and I am left feeling useless. Nothing to say.

» Posted By Tarryn On 12.01.2012 @ 8:52 pm

himself

He didn’t know himself quite as well as he’d like to think. He didn’t recognize the patterns and unjust actions he repeated over and over until she would point them out. She never let him get away with his crimes. He was a walking history of repetition. He was never changing, even though he needed to.

» Posted By Tarryn On 11.30.2012 @ 1:20 pm

rise

I can’t rise to anything.
The mornings are too hard to handle
The occasion is constantly looming behind me
But I am flat on the ground
Alone and incapacitated
The thoughts in my head drag me down
Like stones in a bag thrown out to sea
I sink forever
Always

» Posted By Tarryn On 11.29.2012 @ 9:42 pm

past

Shes lives in the past
The ghosts keep her there
Whispering sweetly into her ear
They’ve tangled their fingers into her hair
She is dusty and cloaked in cobwebs
Hearing his voice and feeling his touch
Fragments buried deep within her skin

» Posted By Tarryn On 11.28.2012 @ 8:38 pm

under

Under water, far away
Losing breath and grasping day
Lights are fading, night is breaking
Bones and flowers;
Tired joints and achy emotions
Weeping in the undertow
Underneath and undergone
Ghosts of love wrapped ’round her spine

» Posted By Tarryn On 11.27.2012 @ 5:40 pm

local

There had never been a place that she could call home. Not until she was wrapped in his arms. It was then she knew that once he let go, she would never belong anywhere else. No matter where she went, it’d never feel right the way it did there, in that one moment.

» Posted By Tarryn On 11.26.2012 @ 7:21 pm

soon

Soon is a word she doesn’t quite understand. Nothing is soon, nothing will ever be soon. If soon were a concept she were actually able to reach then SOON she would be happy. Then SOON she would have a job, be doing well at school, would have found her way with words again, would have moved out, have fallen in love, would have been doing all the things she so desperately wanted to be doing SOON. But soon wasn’t in her grasp and it never had been and, she knew, it probably never would be.

» Posted By Tarryn On 11.25.2012 @ 8:49 pm

Soon is a word she doesn’t quite understand. Nothing is soon, nothing will ever be soon. If soon were a concept she were actually able to reach then SOON she would be happy. Then SOON she would have a job, be doing well at school, will have found her way with words again, will have moved out have fallen in love will have been doing all the things she so desperately wanted to be doing SOON. But soon wasn’t in her grasp and it never had been and, she knew, it probably never would be.

» Posted By Tarryn On 11.25.2012 @ 8:36 pm

tea

i hate tea. it is bitter and disgusting. i try to like it because it reminds me of summer and so many people like it.. but i do not. i like lemons. random, but they remind me of sweet tea. by best friend always gets a hugo sweet tea from mcdonalds. i want to get one too, but i can’t because i will vomit if i drink it. umm… thats really all i have to say about tea.

» Posted By tarryn On 04.30.2009 @ 7:24 pm

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