Comments Posted By Scythe42

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I want to kill something.
I want to rip its skin off quickly,
with a steady hand.
I want to do this quickly, precisely,
with as little blood as possible.
I want to stab something.
I want to injure something.
I want there to be no blood,
no mess. Just pain.
Just pain to stop me from
thinking like I am right now.
From thinking constantly
and worrying and wondering
and not knowing
and Uncertainty
why can’t I be Steady?
Why can’t I be consistent?
Why can’t I be the person
that everyone is.
Fingernails in flesh
giving me peace
finally peace,
just feel the pain
feel the flesh, the indent,
the grounding of reality.
I am here.
Thoughts drown out like
tadpoles in the ocean,
waves of pain pulsing
under the skin,
just reminding me
to be Steady.

I just wish I could be.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 02.26.2017 @ 10:12 pm


We sat on the patio,
brownies in a pan
on my lap,
sitting in the sun
behind a cat.
Licking frosting off of fingers,
drinking lemonade.
What a sunny day.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 06.25.2016 @ 9:11 pm


I grab his face
and kiss his neck
and pull his hair down
from his skull
and bash his face into the window
five times or more
and wait until the glass
stops dripping blood
down his nose
in his eyes
from his mouth.
he wanted me to be angry
I became angry.
I don’t think he appreciated the outcome.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 05.03.2016 @ 7:48 pm


I hate when plans
are not planned
and sentences
are not valid.
I hate when plans change
and they expect you to get
5 hours of sleep
and fucking go somewhere
you weren’t fucking planning on going
this weekend
this month
this year
this decade
and you have to leave
and you are angry
because they’re making you leave
and no one ever wants to leave a place
that’s warm and comforting
and has all of your friends
where you can talk to your friends
and not be bored
and not go crazy
and not need to play the cello
and you can just relax
and write poem after poem
of the plans you have for yourself
in the future.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 12.18.2015 @ 8:30 pm


cognitive dissonance
“i don’t fucking give a shit
about supporting my fucking teammates”
Calm songs playing in
angry minds
and apathetic heart.
Wondering how to pull them down
into a large building and
shatter their femur,
blind their eyes
so they can be
just as unaware of the world
as they already have been.
They’ll just notice it this time.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 11.06.2015 @ 8:06 pm


You know what amazes me?
As I sit here reading
articles about video games
and thinking about
buying neutral colored shirts
and shorts,

how someone can
walk down the street with their
heels clicking past them
and their skirts flowing
and have the world
take them seriously.
With loads of make up
on their faces
smiling like they don’t have
anything better to do
than roll in the grass
down a hill,
jump rope
on the driveway.

How are they going
to be taken seriously?
their high pitched voices
will seem like a nuisance
and laughter will follow them,
yells and cat calls
driving past them.

Will they be heard?

I sit in my comfort zone
enjoying the view
from the inside,
glass window
women walking by
waving hi.

How will women
ever be taken seriously?

» Posted By Scythe42 On 09.22.2015 @ 4:46 pm


He mentioned the last time I saw him.

I was sitting on a bench,
watching the sunset,
as he walked away from me,
whistling like
nothing was wrong,
backed up his car and hit the road.

I didn’t see him
for years.
I hope he got better,
improved his life,
got his shit together.

I don’t think
I’ll ever hear from him again,

» Posted By Scythe42 On 09.11.2015 @ 3:45 pm


I hate when lecturers
lecture me
like i wasn’t even listening,
duct tape my mouth
so as to not ask any
dumb questions.

And sometimes I would
write my notes and
draw dragons on the side,
breathing fiery knowledge
at my side,
giving me words to
spit back at the people who
think children don’t
children just lie
and lie around,
don’t even hear
adults, the sound
flowing through their
cerebral spinal fluid.

Lecturing works,
they say,
lecturing works
because children need to sit still,
don’t question,
sit still and listen
to everything that comes out of adults
because adults are right.
Don’t think critically,
don’t be ridiculously
thinking that’s alright, to question
Authority is for you to listen to
and everything else
is just background noise.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 05.17.2015 @ 8:16 pm


I haven’t brushed my teeth
for two days,
but this music
tastes like mint chocolate chip ice cream
and meaningful conversation
in a slurry of realizations.
Words don’t come so easily
to me.
Crossroads taking me
afraid it’s nowhere,
but life will keep moving me along,
as will infinity.
I’m petrified that
something bad could happen
along the way,
driving my home
I might drop off my
before I get there,
lose carelessness
I never had,
never let go of
time constraints
and always close
the window panes.
But this song
feels like infinity,
and words might finally
mean something.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 08.18.2013 @ 11:15 pm


I think i have
the plague.
It is growing inside me
like a watermelon seed,
but it’s only for
female humans,
eating away at intestines,
at my heart
and my lungs
and I cannot breathe
I am drowning
from the past
and the blackness
of my future
as it envelopes me
into looking into
glass nothingness.
My reflection does not stand
but walks away from me,
shaking her head,
tears licking the floor
as she slips away from me.
And I want to know,
where did she go?
what do I do


» Posted By Scythe42 On 03.31.2013 @ 10:40 pm


My whole body is numb.
I want to fix the problems,
fix his brain.
I want to carve his neurons
into computers,
abiding my please
of quieting his jokes
and his antics.
I want him to say
“how was your day dear?”
I want him to hold a conversation
that doesn’t involve mocking
or joking
or anything.
Just him.
I want to drill his skull
and rip out the half of his brain
that is his ego,
that is his shield
from low-self esteem,
I want to take the armor
from the child
and tell him
he is only a child,
and that it is ok
to be only a child
and one should be a child
during most phases of life.
And that it is not a crime
to be unsure of one’s choices,
one’s life.
I’m tired of bracing the wave
to find the man on the raft
floating in the sea,
waiting for me to find him,
starving for water,
for breath.
I am tired of invading
his inner circle
and getting electrocuted
by his thunderous words.
While I slowly,
after every shock,
creep towards him
a little more,
tears streaming down my face.
Finally he sees the tears
and stops the thunder
and tears roll down his face as well,
and he wants to break his own skull
and shed his own skin.
But it is tomorrow.
And his armor protects him so
once again,
once he forgets about
the tears.
And his thunderous words starts again
until he remembers again
after he smells the salt water
on my face.
I wait
until he remembers,
another day.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 02.20.2013 @ 6:55 pm


I fall into a crack
like a computer virus,
some misfit
in juvenile detention,
wondering how I got here,
where I am,
who I could possibly be
in this crack in time,
isolated from
the universe,
the forces that made me win,
made me succeed
as I followed them into the vortex
of utter terror,
like a sheep following
the dinosaur into the comets.
But why can’t I leave them?
Am I any better by simply
following the herd?
Failure always ends in failure
and independence does the same.
It’s no fun and games.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 12.06.2012 @ 1:21 am


The world keeps moving,
like a Charlie Brown song on repeat,
reiterating its existential qualities.
And we bury our past,
forget what we learned from the mistakes
and the horrors of everyday life,
depressive episodes
of boys and knives.
And it keeps us moving through the seasons,
until we can no longer see them,
and what we see is a blurry memory
of a moment,
when we first realized what we wanted
was there all along.
And what we thought we wanted
was something not gone.
And what we thought we needed
was only but a red herring
in a story shrouded in mystery.
And life keeps moving
whether we think about it
or just let it be.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 10.15.2012 @ 11:28 pm


The clothing hugged me
like cling-wrap.
I felt bound,
like I was walking
and my legs could feel
as I moved across the ocean floor.
They felt lighter somehow,
but more of a binding
than my old clothes.
More expectations
and more people
Looking at me.
Why would these people
Look at me
as I walk the ocean floor?
The stares don’t belong

» Posted By Scythe42 On 09.10.2012 @ 11:43 pm


The brushes
enter your ear
like warm sand on your face.
Her voice like sunshine
on a cold winter day.
The tangy guitar
bittersweet-ly stings your ear
like biting into a fierce orange.
The words enter your mind
like a wave washing away the sand
you stand on.
And you take a breath,
and sit for a while.
Letting the breeze,
the sound,
pass through you
like water
around your ankles.
Smooth and warm
and comforting.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 09.07.2012 @ 12:31 am

I slip under the grass
like a child’s blanket.
The sky, crystal blue
above me,
reminds me of my future self,
staring endlessly
into a vast, beautiful
that is my life.
The potential
to reach some infinite
some vastness
as wide as the sky
as I lay there
my existence,
underneath comfort.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 09.06.2012 @ 10:56 pm


My head bobs slowly,
a buoy in the sea,
bobbing up and down
and up
the waves
the sound
pushes me back
and forth,
every beat
a separate froth
against the shore,
sweeping against my legs,
caressing my skin
as soft as feathers,
lulling me
to a curious safety,
dozing me off
to shore.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 08.30.2012 @ 12:34 am


are like awkward chickens.
Poems are like
awkward sentences
mingled with sense
and wisdom,
like a penny hitting the ground
tails up.
And sometimes life
is an awkward breath,
a frantic inhalement of air
until you take a few breaths
and breathe out,
slowly at first,
eyes open wide,
until you take a sip
of lemon juice
and a tear falls out of your eye,
until you wake up
and realize life
is one hiccup
after the next,
and you laugh
and catch your breath,
waiting for another to hit you.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 07.20.2012 @ 12:52 am


He wore overalls.
I wondered why
choices are so hard to make
when they are not
for someone else.
The sky widens like
some apocalypse,
lightning ready to strike us down
at any moment.
The thunder I could feel
inside me,
pounding on my sternum,
ready to break free
of the horrors,
the science,
the concrete,
the hopeless.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 07.07.2012 @ 10:17 pm


My configuration
is growing weirdly.
My body rejecting the thoughts
and feelings that I try so hard
to embed into my skin.
My brain trying to overtake
my organs
and my skeleton,
trying to change
my configuration.
control alt delete,
control alt delete,
it will not listen to me.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 06.27.2012 @ 10:50 pm


I remember the walks we took
at 9:27, the stars
lighting the grass
and the fireflies,
tiny flying comets
in our midst.
We held our hands
and lulled through the grass
humming quiet tunes to ourselves
and wondering how this night
could have anymore
memories attached.
Feelings held.
We wondered.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 06.06.2012 @ 8:30 pm


Midnight walks,
lights shading the triangles,
the structures of sturdiness
that we seem to live in so easily,
with our shelter and our arrogance,
leading us to nothing except
green paper that doesn’t even
mean anything.
There’s no value.
Midnight walk,
the world seems lighter
in the dark,
Life shines from the moon
so much better than the sun,
the cool air brushing
against the surface
of my face,
realizing truth.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 05.30.2012 @ 1:11 am


The night sky gleamed
in the open field
as a pile of logs
burnt heavy summer flames.
The grass hot with ash
and paper crumbs.
People making noise,
light banter,
a few punches being thrown,
bodies striving to get off
of the grass floor,
back up again
to throw another punch,
laughter surrounding
like fireflies,
popping up here and there.
It was a night everyone
would remember.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 05.19.2012 @ 11:05 pm


The backspace key
is pressed down,
but does not know
what is pressing it,
only that is exists,
not that it exists
attached to a “keyboard”,
a thing made of plastic,
its insides working
with “electricity”
and copper wires.
The words I do not wish
I had typed,
they are erased
as I press backspace.
But the backspace
does not care,
does not know.
It has no intentions
of taking back an
“I love you,”
an angry comment,
a terrible drunken email.
It does not Know
that we honor it so much,
appreciate this gift
we are allowed,
to take back words,
to restart
our sentences,
our feelings,
our thoughts.
It does not Know.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 05.17.2012 @ 11:58 am


I disregarded the one word
and wrote about dark matters.
I disregard people
who bother me
because I believe that will
make me look strong and
and not damaged
by words.
If I don’t respond
I will show discipline
and strength,
instead of having complaints
zoom out of my mouth
like space ships.
I would be Strong
and it would look like
I didn’t Really care
what anyone thought of me.
And then I realized
that no one
really thought of me.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 05.13.2012 @ 9:55 pm

People elude me.
Sometimes I wonder
if hate and love
are as close as
edges on a sword.
While sitting on the line,
the blade cuts
a deep wound,
a clean vertical
slit under your eyes,
slowly widening
each time a thought
Each time you doubt
the personality of the world,
that someone
has been fooling you all along,
that he is not who he says he is,
how he says he is.
Sometimes I wonder
if the stinging
numbs me so,
like a swim
in the lake,
pieces of glass
floating on the surface
of the dark substance,
your cranium
wanting to slip
below the glass,
and exhale little by little
as you try to find the bottom
of the abyss.
If the slit under your eyes
is something you most desire,
not willing to flip a coin,
not willing to decease
your questions.
Not willing to ask
to get the answers.

After so many slices
stinging your skin,
you would rather
seal your skin with pebbles,
transform into a rock
and sink into the bottom of the abyss
you’ve been wondering about.
The one you’ve been missing,
the one you left so long ago.
The one you need.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 05.13.2012 @ 5:31 pm


I never hear the trains
go by anymore.
I hear them almost every time of night.
But I don’t recognize a bit of sound.
But when I walk by them
I can see the metal tanks,
the massive weights
being pushed laterally
along metal railroad tracks,
everything ten times the size
of me.
Here the tracks sit
among gravel,
dirt, trees.
In some ways,
although I can’t always hear it,
I see how glorious
the tracks are,
traveling, embedded
into the earth
for miles
to serve our own
primitive needs.
We owe some appreciation
to the world
and to mundane marvels
we pass everyday,
without blinking.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 05.10.2012 @ 9:57 pm


He is willful
not to give into his emotions,
his rage, blood coming to a boil,
calms like the ocean
after a thunderstorm.
His will
suppresses all emotion
to get the best solution
for his problem.
Feelings just get in the way,
road blocks;
they take us on detours.
And who would want to
drive near the cliff
if you can simple
travel in a tunnel?
Emotions are unnecessary,
useless tools.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 04.05.2012 @ 10:54 pm


The man was wearing a hood,
hunched over
like a bat sleeping in a dark cave,
and he was wearing sneakers.
I remember his silhouette
as he walked down the hill,
and I wondered
where was he going.
What would anyone do
at three in the morning
that was not disconcerting.
And I wondered,
what was I doing.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 04.04.2012 @ 5:01 pm


I stood on the ground
where they dug you up,
and laid you back down again.
I stood on the ground,
wanting to take back
the earth
just to see your face.
I don’t know what to say.
The world works
in no kind of way.
Your body stays
a few feet below us,
not far from us.

Even if your ashes
floated in the sky,
settled on a tree branch,
you would still hear
every step I took,
every breath
I took.
You would be there
for it all.
I thank you.
I’m sorry
for what I took.
You are always here.

» Posted By Scythe42 On 03.27.2012 @ 7:00 pm

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