Comments Posted By Richardton T. Slump

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Shocked to be so absorbed, pleasantly claply and all full of vim. Mister Tan was all of these and more as the stringent vernacular of his contemporaries slammed into him full force, full of force and vigor. Indeed.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 04.26.2017 @ 6:37 pm


Do you remember when I used to be able to write things? Ahh. Neither can I. I am all become disfigured with the writing parts, and I seem unable to discover why. Is it something that effects? Or perhaps a mere problem. I struggle and struggle.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 07.08.2014 @ 7:42 pm


The collapse of all things is somehow desirable. Sometimes. Some would say. I’m not proposing this as a reasonable proposition, but it feels right somehow. You understand? Probably not. Not many want to admit it, but I feel like this desire is something inherent in all of us.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 04.10.2014 @ 6:27 pm


Can one find peace in their own mind? I have sought to answer this, but the journey has been a never-ending spiral stairway into despair. Thoughts rage and tremble, and I am but helpless.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 04.05.2014 @ 7:31 pm


I don’t know what to do with my sorry values. I try to be a good person, I try to be a contributor to society, but all anyone ever says to me is “Ack! A fart!” What do I do? Are my values wrong? Do I treasure that which is bad to others, and thus of poor value? I don’t know.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 03.20.2014 @ 7:08 pm


O Chubby, thou cold mistress. Thou, who watcheth so upon thy roost of bitter bite, thou who so sheddeth nary a pound ‘pon thy frigid form. O Chubby, thou cruel yet fertile mistress.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 02.28.2014 @ 4:11 pm


Whilst seated beneath the giant bonsai tree I sampled a platter of unripe cheeses. The cheeses created an atmosphere that I can describe only as unpleasant, and to this day I feel fairly strongly about expressing my disgruntlement.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 02.25.2014 @ 7:39 pm


The chocolate clock is a clock steeped in great mystery. Very great mystery indeed. And though it is the third clock of its kind, many who witness its power swear by its very great mystery indeed. The mighty third chocolate clock brings great mystery and chocolate to all who take the time to behold its mystery. Chocolate clock.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 02.08.2014 @ 9:35 am


Auto insurance to be secure is not a novel concept, it is merely a pleasure enjoyed by the privileged few. The graceful and secure, those with money to burn and possessions to protect. Myself? I abstain, and condemn those who indulge as prevaricators of the basest variety. Such is the truth of my butt.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 02.02.2014 @ 8:05 pm


One bubble, and a flat one at that. How ever does a bubble become flat, anyway? Reasonable, I suppose, to attempt to disect this issue — after all, how does one approach life if one cannot study the bubbles? The bubbles that make us who we are?

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 02.01.2014 @ 8:51 pm


Well, it’s very unpleasant to have to always be tracking what everyone thinks and how they view the world. I find it complicates everything I do, so I make my best effort to ignore it. I stick with what works, and that’s just doing doing doing. No kind of agenda here, mind you, or any type of misanthropy. I just find that others don’t work for me.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 01.06.2014 @ 4:03 pm


Stop callin’ me chicken noodle. If we get caught up in a drought again like all happen’d last year, you ain’t gon’ be sayin no chicken noodle. You gon’ be sayin’ fetch me that puddle o’er yon, and boy if I ain’t gon’ holler back atchoo not one dang lick.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 09.16.2013 @ 7:24 pm


Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, this plaster got me feelin way out there up on a truck. Like, slathered and blathered all that, yuss. Like, watch — I put the plaster on the wall and slap on the wallpaper and it’s like Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, it’s STUCK. Ayyyyyyyyyy. Here, here, try it. It’ll STUCK.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 07.26.2013 @ 8:27 pm


Meow in the box of the kitty litter, too many people watching. Can’t go. I’m not a cat, Oh God why am I here. Meow. Meow. Why do they all look at me, looking at me so intently. Am I that freakish, here in the box, the kitty litter box? I understand nothing, but I am pulled, so pulled by the scent. MEOW.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 07.23.2013 @ 7:37 am


Mercurial montage with pleasant hints of rose-tinged tallow-tips, too much to bear at times if one is predisposed towards intolerance. Such as I feel no regret for full basking in such a wallowing, and no bones to made about it.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 06.06.2013 @ 8:50 pm


Subduing we shallt be undifficult should we fail to be attracted properly. Commonsense spake thus, but ne’er was one to listen should it seem so. Aye, aye, the days are overold and I am left as dust now.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 04.13.2013 @ 8:11 pm


CHUMPS! The kind of chumps who tie an anchor to their car of all things! These are the chumps we must cleanse, cleanse, cleanse from our presence. No longer should such as these be permitted, for it is this tolerance that breeds failure. FAILURE TO NOT BE A CHUMP.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 04.11.2013 @ 2:33 pm


I’ll share with you all I know of vines. First of all, many people take umbrage with certain aspects of vine culture, namely purveyors of homo-erotic dog food and other such food genres. The reason for this is, as of yet, unclear to us, but we remain confident that with diligence such issues can be resolved.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 04.04.2013 @ 3:03 pm


Clumps of stuff in a tornado like that. Just clumps, flying round and gettin flung about. RIght, see there goes a cow dodging a potato patch mid-air, and over there is bein flung a reticulated model of a gigantic locust. Clumps and clumps.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 03.28.2013 @ 9:01 am


I don’t scrimp, I’m just an uptown man walkin downtown in a new pair of boots. A lot of times I’ve said (and I really mean this) that I am truly knowable to people who make the effort. And swivel me in a chair if that ain’t the truth, hon’! I can be a bee or not if you want, but just make the effort!

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 03.23.2013 @ 4:31 pm


This heat is killing me, and I’m not even a flat-tongued harpy. Blasted sun. If I had a feather and a pan, I would walk downtown to the clock and teach the sunrise a thing or two. Maybe let him know just what I surmise. Yeah! That oughta be it.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 02.13.2013 @ 4:41 pm


A sly and crisp salesman pounding on the door, in the rain-slick dreary mess. The woman, disheveled, answers, confused, listens and shortly closes the door.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 02.07.2013 @ 1:51 pm



» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 01.30.2013 @ 2:34 pm


Eeeeeeee, I don’t know about that, Cholly. We have visitor, waiting downstair. Why you no say you want to go bang-bang earlier? Why you wait? Now this man he waiting want talk to us… Eeeeeeeeeee.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 01.28.2013 @ 8:51 pm


Gaspar LeChong, head chef of the Le Papillon Gros, is quite the cool cucumber. Last week a customer accosted him, accusing him of spiking the daily special with pepto bismol. Bernard stared him down, and, froth flecking from his lips, showed that man the DOOR.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 01.27.2013 @ 4:05 pm


I have to admit that responsibility is something I usually shirk. I don’t enjoy it, nor do I particular enjoy wearing a shirt. While it should be noted that I am otherwise a fine and kind gentleman, my lack of responsibility can for sure hurt. It is in this manner that I think we are all judged: in the absence of responsibility, can we succor our lives with yogurt?

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 01.24.2013 @ 1:33 pm


The most I ever was destroyed came about by the damnedest bean burrito you ever lain eyes upon. The grease and bacteria of that foul wedge of filth wreaked such havoc upon my tenderloins that I have sworn off all such devourings of burrito-type foodstuffs, and henceforth declare my butt “Burrito-free”.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 01.19.2013 @ 7:51 pm


I was once told that great truth exists in the needle of a compass. Well, blast my arm hairs off if that ain’t the flap-diddliest bucket of lies to ever crease the folds of an old librarian’s lips. Took myself out into the great prairie yesterday morn’, carrying nothing but a compass and my trousers, and damn it all if I didn’t get home ’till half past 9.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 01.12.2013 @ 7:29 pm


Ooooooooooooooooooo these lips are veddy ancient. Not a kiss, not a kiss. The lips they may fall off, yes, yes, oh, yes. A crack and a crinkle and *whish*, fall away, veddy most unfortunate, yes, yes.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 02.09.2013 @ 2:04 pm


Saw a bird there just standin up on top that tree there, big mass a feather’n such. Bird there all about SQUAWK then took off. Whole mess a bird that one. Said’s to my Charlene, That there bird ain’t bout nothin but no good. She jes nod and nod, keep on sippin that drink a her’n.

» Posted By Richardton T. Slump On 10.08.2012 @ 3:22 pm

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