Comments Posted By Pepa

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eligible

I am eligible to discover my life to give birth to my new old me, who has been stuck in the shadows for decades. After decades of sorrow I have been able to forgive myself
I feel like I have found my bbf and I gave her a big hug and hold hands with her. I hope I am not dissociating (mental illness), but it felt clean powerful rebirth. I could see me (her) just so peaceful never judgmental and with the arms open saying I have been here waiting for this moment all along within you. It felt so emotional powerful.

I was crying asking for decades of forgiveness of injuring, of ruling against me, of being critical my worse judge, and punish-er.
And it all made sense, on my first meditation I visualize the image of that little girl sitting scared abusive in dark corner, suffering injury after injury. I couldn’t rely because none of my parents have been like that to me. I didn’t understand why this little girl (who was me when 6-8y/o) so traumatized. The message after that was another image of a big white transparent rock, shining through from her chest.
And now 3 days later I have this soul heart explosion from guts, and all was provoke as I had a thought that needed to journal, and when I was writing whoosh this just came like a volcano pouring out of me.

Later on, I felt drained, physically, mentally and from the soul. Like I have been through a birth and I needed to recovered. I couldn’t talk or move just needed to lay on my bed it was hard to even breath. Something had left something had been revealed and left me tender. I could feel the fragile tenderness exposed. This is my Re-Birth.

» Posted By Pepa On 01.14.2015 @ 9:28 pm

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