Comments Posted By Paige B

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“I am the buddah,” I exclaimed, while crouching next to the little golden statue and holding my stomach. Usually, I would be self conscious about sticking my stomach out in such a way, but here it felt natural.

» Posted By Paige B On 03.09.2017 @ 5:17 am


Today at work I made a coffee cake. Now, I’m a pretty good baker. I’ve never actually made most of the stuff I’ve made here, but so far, I’ve only had one bad review. It was a fudge that never set. But I didn’t realize how hard it was to make a strusel crumble.

» Posted By Paige B On 02.14.2017 @ 8:58 pm


I fell into disrepair, is what happened. My mom keeps looking at me like I betrayed her. I suppose I did though. I told her the night before I was leaving. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her earlier because I was self conscious and scared, but there’s nothing wrong with getting help. I know that now.
Also, I have no clue what disrepair means. I gave it my best shot.

» Posted By Paige B On 02.10.2017 @ 9:05 pm


“On my knees, praying ‘Santa Maria, send me guidance. Send me gui-‘”
“CUT. Jeez, don’t you understand Morales as a character? She just wants to be an actress, is that so hard to get? Yeah, ‘this class is nothing’, but so is your acting! Get it together!”

» Posted By Paige B On 02.08.2017 @ 8:44 pm


I totally downgraded. Dear god. I went from Brett to Ben Stiller? All because he could take the headphones off of my brother? What was I even thinking? Like, yeah, Ben is sweet, I guess. But Brett. Brett Favre. Think of that paycheck. That life insurance!

» Posted By Paige B On 01.13.2017 @ 8:40 pm


“Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country!” Mr. Kennedy addressed all the citizens of the nation. Melissa sat there with pride in her eyes, looking brightly up at the screen. ‘That’s gonna be my job one day,’ she thought, clutching her dolly tight with hope.

» Posted By Paige B On 01.11.2017 @ 9:14 pm


“If you got a problem, let’s resolve it. Check-”
“Dude, the lines are literally all wrong. Did you even read the lyrics?”
“Whatever. The only thing that really matters is that Brennan has a mangina.”

» Posted By Paige B On 01.02.2017 @ 6:55 am


“Simmer down, champ,” Brad said. His son’s tiny face was a brilliant shade of red. Brad had never realized somebody could get so upset just because there were no more Goldfish in the house.

» Posted By Paige B On 01.01.2017 @ 5:50 am


She dashed away. Dear God, she knew she was small, but come ON. Did all the cheetahs need to go after her? Bobby was way smaller than her. He even had a limp! But nooooo, let’s go after Shawna. She supposed it was because she didn’t have antlers like Bobby. Either way, it was a load of lion crap.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.30.2016 @ 5:03 am


“But first, let me take a selfie,” Idina wrote as a caption, then selected a photo of herself that obviously was not shot by her own hand, considering she was at least 20 feet away standing in front of a waterfall.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.28.2016 @ 9:08 pm


“Let’s go, man.” Thomas said. He brushed off the gloves Sally made him on his vest and winked at Alex.
“I’ll go. Back to Maria’s. I’m about to need a different kind of glove for this one.”

» Posted By Paige B On 12.27.2016 @ 3:26 pm


“What a moving speech,” Kelsey feigned a swoon, putting the back of her hand to her forehead. She dropped her hand. “Too bad I honestly just don’t care.” Kelsey grinned brightly and dragged the scythe quickly across my neck. “I simply do not care.”

» Posted By Paige B On 12.23.2016 @ 7:46 pm


With his own resignation, Alexander sighed.
“Alright, Madison. I know I’m a fuck boy. But hear me out: Maria TOTALLY played me. She spoke all sad and was like “dude, you’re so honorable. You gotta give me money and hit this’. Like honestly, J, she had her talons IN.”
“Alex…,” James sighed, “You’re legit SUCH a fuckboy.”

» Posted By Paige B On 12.22.2016 @ 4:13 am


I know I’m self centered. Hell, look at me right now. I’m even writing about how self centered I am, isn’t that ridiculous. They say it’s my mental illness and I understand that it probably is, so I try to listen to other people, but I simply can’t help but talking about myself at the end of the day.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.21.2016 @ 4:31 am


Casey turned to check if the compass was actually pointing north, because if it was she should be close, if not there already, to Atlantis. She decided she should check while she could tell which was was north for once. The compass pointed southeast. Great.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.19.2016 @ 3:55 am


When I was in 9th grade my friends made up a dance called the “atlas”, which was basically waving your arms around while slightly hunched over, like “Atlas”. There was also a dance called “The Hitler”, which is probably exactly what you think it looks like.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.17.2016 @ 4:22 am


Right now I’m trapped in a lease with a man I no longer love. I knew from the beginning I didn’t love him enough for it, but I was desperate to get out of my mother’s house and hoped that maybe if I tried hard enough I would fall deeper and deeper “in love” with him. I was right.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.16.2016 @ 3:55 am


My grandma always made me sit in the back seat in case the air bag went off and smothered me. We checked all of our Halloween candy for razor blades and never rode our bikes past the corner of Douglas Street. I haven’t gone outside in a skirt alone ever. Just in case. But I still wasn’t safe. Isn’t that funny?

» Posted By Paige B On 12.14.2016 @ 8:53 pm


“We were only trying to drown her,” Marsette flipped her hair and looked at Peter longingly. Peter rolled his eyes at her.
“Marsette, we’ve discussed this. We’ve proved this time and time again. Drowning a human does not make them a mermaid.”
“Well, I know that now, Peter. I wasn’t looking for another mermaid. I was just looking for a little entertainment. Plus drowning your little Wendy Bird would certainly bring you around more often, now wouldn’t it?” Marsette batted her eyelashes and Peter pushed the balls of his feet off the rock and flew back towards the island, Wendy Bird in hand.
“Stupid Wendy Bird,” she mumbled and put down her comb. Marsette leaned forward and dove into the cove once again.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.12.2016 @ 2:07 pm


All it took for me to stand on a stool in the middle of a quiet room was the quick switch of his affection. It took away everything from me. He stuck it in her, and all of a sudden my house, kids, and everything I ever loved was gone. So I shifted my feet and kicked it over.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.09.2016 @ 3:06 pm


I wish I could erase myself from the world. I couldn’t commit suicide because everybody has memories with me. Everybody has pictures and letters and objects that are distinctly mine. Remember when Hermoine obliviated her family? I wish I could do that with myself.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.07.2016 @ 4:32 am


“Witch! Witchcraft! Long live King Henry!” Anne started to cry and began quietly praying towards the sky on her knees. Please, God, let it be fast. Henry had only hired the best for his beloved, and Anne’s prayer never hit “amen”.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.06.2016 @ 3:19 am


The broadway revival of The Producers holds the record for most Tony awards won. Which is ironic, because it’s a musical about making a crappy musical.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.05.2016 @ 5:00 am


“The Masked Avenger?”
No, that’s so corny.
“The Shadow?”
What even?
“Fish Gacy?”
Okay so I’m a murderer now?
“Paul O’Neil.”
Wellp. I guess I’ll just go with my actual name for this too.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.04.2016 @ 3:37 am


Why was she always crying? She didn’t even have anything to cry about? She wouldn’t tell me why either. I put her hand in mine and begged, “Honey, what’s wrong? Please, let me help.” She wouldn’t even look at me. Just opened her mouth and shrieked.
I should’ve used a condom.

» Posted By Paige B On 12.03.2016 @ 4:06 am


“Let’s make a deal.” She gave me an eerie smile. I couldn’t show her that she scared me though; weakness meant she was going to play the deal however she wanted.
“Who are you, Howie Mandell?” I decided to pass with a little snark. A little bit never hurt anybody, did it?
Her forked tongue reached out and licked her lower lip as the left corner of her mouth tilted up.
“Something like that.”

» Posted By Paige B On 12.01.2016 @ 8:35 pm


The car was busy getting towed and you were watching from the backseat of a police car. Great. This is gonna be the best Thanksgiving ever. The excitement of the turkey being seasoned with Mom’s tears makes your heart almost as warm as the stuffing you aren’t going to get. Because you’re a dumbass. And your car is getting towed.

» Posted By Paige B On 11.23.2016 @ 9:54 pm


We don’t need gun control laws.
Max cocks his .22 at 9:37 am.
We’re all safe. I’ll make sure we’re safe.
Max opens the door to Henry Sibley High School.
I’ll get all of the lunatics in this joint. I’ll make sure of it.
The cops arrived at 11:24 am.

» Posted By Paige B On 11.22.2016 @ 9:27 pm


I am always in recovery. Day in and day out. Nobody told me that eating disorders were this complex. I decided if I stopped looking at calories and just ate whatever I wanted I would recover, right? Wrong. Recovery isn’t eating whatever you want. It’s learning to eat in a healthy way AND eating whatever you want. Fuck ED.

» Posted By Paige B On 11.18.2016 @ 4:59 am


They always told her “wealth isn’t money; it’s family and friends and love.” But it’s always felt like money to her. She felt the most “wealth” when she received paychecks that paid for more than her bills. Paychecks that paid for freedom to do whatever you want.

» Posted By Paige B On 11.17.2016 @ 4:08 am

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