Comments Posted By Lauren Scharf

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When the galaxy arcade tried to branch off into the Galaxy Country Club and Casino, it didn’t have quite the same ring to it.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 04.02.2011 @ 12:14 pm


I need to get in it.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 03.19.2011 @ 1:50 pm


How to know if you’re wanted? It’s not just found in the facebook posts, or witty quotes, or even love notes. It sometimes just needs a face to face encounter.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 03.18.2011 @ 5:21 pm


Coupon shopping takes a while.

Browsing for coupons means taking all the ones for products you buy normally, plus ones for products you think you should try. These products are usually thing you wouldn’t normally treat yourself to.
Organizing coupons means separating them into envelopes by expiration date. One envelope per month. Shopping in February? Take only the February envelope. Only pull from other months if you KNOW they contain a discount to something you KNOW you’ll be buying.
Ordering coupons means stacking coupons by where in the grocery store you’ll find that product so you can start to the right by the produce, and end to the left by the frozen food section. Do this before you leave for the store or you’re likely to be run down by fellow shoppers who don’t have time to wait for the college student to uncrumple and fidget with the pennies of savings you’ve stuffed in your pocket.
Eliminating coupons means arriving at a treat product and deciding that the money saved is not worth the expense you wouldn’t normally pay in the first place. A good way to determine this is if the product is on sale in addition to the coupon’s discount, chances are it’s worth it. Otherwise, perhaps compare the discounted price with coupon to the store brand’s price. Cheaper? No? Move on. Save the coupon if it’s not the end of the month.
Using coupons means waiting at the self checkout for assistance so the supervising cashier can enter their authorization code and scan your coupons through. Be forewarned this means dirty looks from the people in line, who’s 10 minute trip to the grocery store has now become 15 minutes. They have NO idea.

Yeah. I guess you could say I’m pretty cheap.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 02.28.2011 @ 6:55 pm


It’s itchy. I think i’m allergic. Yeah. Sorry though. I’d totally take this scarf you knitted for me. But it’s just no good for my health. Yeah, i’m sure it’s warm. I know. I get it. I just can’t have it.

I’ll take the scarf that she made me, though. Fuck, I’ll even let her teach me how to knit.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 02.16.2011 @ 8:27 pm


I run. I squat. I jog. I jump. I sprint. I leap. I push. I pull.

He sits. He eats. And he’s the lean one.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 01.30.2011 @ 12:11 am


You’d think that by the time my toes are stiffening, my bones are shaking, the hairs on my arms are stuck up straight and the blood in my fingers is swirling around in a frantic and desperate attempt at warmth, the furnace in this old building would have kicked in.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 01.23.2011 @ 12:20 am


The safe route takes many many forms. There’s no map key specifying exactly which thin line is the safe route, so many are likely to stray, and only a few of those are able to handle their own error in judgment.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 01.01.2011 @ 10:52 pm


Splitting a check is always twice as awkward and three times as confusing a process as need be. You got the soda and the fish and chips. She got #17 and an Iced tea. The couple shared the pad thai. And all he got was soup.

Oh but wait. Then there’s tax. And tip. Split them evenly I suppose.
I never get soda. Usually that’s an extra $2.00; enough, in some restaurants, to get a whole appetizer. Yet despite my healthy glass of tap water, the Jew must pay up.

Dinners in solitude are much more preferable.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 12.30.2010 @ 11:39 pm


I have to admit. He’s got me spot on. I wonder if I should tell him. He called it a “sneaking suspicion.” I should ask what gave me away. Maybe then I could throw it in his face that he’s been doing just the same to me, so I have every reason to believe he likes me. Just like I like him.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 12.05.2010 @ 1:26 pm


I’m only trying to help, but it seems like ever word that I can strangle out of myself that isn’t a plain snap at her goes ignored.

Some people with multiple problems may be surprised to find that all their issues boil down to the fact that they don’t listen!

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 11.10.2010 @ 11:07 pm


I’m already half way in. This bright pink yarn came with a kit to help me make my own slippers. But I lost a spool, lost the DVD instructions, and ended up chucking my knitting needles at the screen when those instructions proved impossible to follow. Now I’m stuck with this offensively bright pink yarn that I picked for its texture on a freezing fall day and I’m half way in and I don’t know what I’m making.
A scarf? Too thick.
A shirt? Too thin.
A skirt? Too fuzzy.

…I don’t know how to make a sweater.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 10.15.2010 @ 9:37 pm


Tall tale boy, he is. Hears the truth about me and can’t resist talking himself up.

Not to mention, he’s also rather tall.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 10.03.2010 @ 9:35 pm


Pays off.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 09.30.2010 @ 7:41 pm


What makes a schedule really full? Huh?
No time to eat.
No time to sleep.
When friends are pleading, dying for more time with you.
When would-be partners are calling four times an hour, worried you’ve forgotten they exist.
When parents see the time stamp on that email and wonder what you’re doing to your self.
After all this I still can’t bring myself to reflect on my past week as busy, or occupied.
I made it out alive after all. Why not do it again?
I suppose I’m denying the inevitable, which brings me to procrastination.
I’ll get to that tomorrow.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 09.28.2010 @ 10:33 pm


Her look of horror stopped his laughter almost immediately.
“You KILLED them? You KILLED those poor, little animals?”
“Sweetheart, prairie dogs dig holes all over the ranch. I had to think of the horses. One twisted ankle and…” he covered his eyes with one hand and cocked his gun with the other.
“But, daddy, I didn’t think you’d kill them. I mean, the only thing they did wrong was live in a spot that’s already taken. And they don’t take up much room, the little things.”

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 09.10.2010 @ 8:13 pm


Sometime I just don’t feel like I did something right. Usually after I’ve said something wrong, or lost an argument. Or even won an argument. My brain pulses against my forehead, as though I know I’m forgetting something. My nerves twitch up and down my neck. It’s difficult to stand on the ground. I call this the tilt.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 09.08.2010 @ 10:51 pm


So what if i stand here, tied to this tree? So what if when people walk by, they think, Who is that crazy tied to a tree?” So what if there are plenty more logical ways to do this.

Trees need friends too.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 08.31.2010 @ 9:51 pm


The constant emails, which only increase when I respond, will always be an attempt from Julie to feel closer to me; Maybe even closer to being me. Like each word I tap out is a little gift of insight that she soaks up through her eyes as they linger over each one to the next. The unfortunate truth is, she’s running out of questions, and I’m running out of answers. So she’s made a desperate turn by repeating the old, as though she juiced those same words for all they were worth and needs them back in her inbox to refuel. My efforts and advice to help her will never really be understood.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 08.21.2010 @ 5:34 pm


Oh, god. Twenty years it took for me to cross that line. That’s one score. One fifth of a life should I live a century.

It was just a kiss but that’s all it took and now I’ve fallen.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 08.19.2010 @ 8:15 am


What a blast I could have; a trip to the park, to the cafe, to the smallest vintage store in Colorado. What a fantastic time it would be had I only stayed back home.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 08.17.2010 @ 2:26 pm


Procrastination only worsens the more you search for motivation to pull you out of your slump. I’m eternally doomed to live off of influence.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 08.16.2010 @ 9:51 pm


Oh, for god’s sake. I spend the week looking forward to this trip and now merely packing is just as bad a chore as everything I’m escaping from.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 08.05.2010 @ 9:50 pm


Kara had a dream scholarship to a dream school, where she managed to pick up a dream part time job to take her mind off the fact that she left her high school friends behind.

Kara thought she had it made. Until she met her dream boy.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 07.29.2010 @ 6:15 am


Change over the wash. I’m not your maid, you know. And if I was, I definitely would clean better places than this shit hole.

That’s right. I’d be a classy maid.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 07.27.2010 @ 11:44 pm


I’m not exaggerating. This bitch was so high strung, she’d slap you on the wrist if you reached in front of her to get to the juice machine.

Not the kind of lady I’d want to work for in a freakin’ smoothie shop.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 07.26.2010 @ 7:04 pm


How should I know what the missing piece is? Or even where to put it once I find it?
If it’s the difference between happiness and denial, how important is it?

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 07.24.2010 @ 4:33 pm


It’s not that I’m ungrateful. It’s just that she gives the same $25 dollar gift certificate every birthday and Channuka and no matter where I live, it’s just not a good idea to go to that store.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 07.22.2010 @ 10:29 am


Shattered. All that work, all that beauty, now lying on the floor in a sopping pile of shards. How long does the fish have once you take it out of water?

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 07.20.2010 @ 11:40 pm


After failing at a breakthrough in her high school theatre department, she made what seemed like a fall back decision to go into film. She couldn’t tell then that a talent like her’s was not meant to be captured through the smallest of pin holes and only exposed to celluloid; she simply needed a bigger stage.

» Posted By Lauren Scharf On 07.18.2010 @ 9:34 pm

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