Comments Posted By Kitty Littertray

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this is broken please fix the cursor keeps disappearing..

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 11.15.2010 @ 5:19 am


Please fix this…

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 11.08.2010 @ 1:17 am


I was told by my doctor – a useless drunk – that I would have to adapt my lifestyle or I’d face an early grave. Naturally I told him I was too old and stuck to change my ways. He’d said fine, on your own head be it, but you’ll be dead within the year. I asked him if I could have 2049.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 11.06.2010 @ 8:19 am


We’ve got a new boy in to do the garden. His name is Brendan and he’s nineteen, Best thing though is he likes to get his kit off when it gets too warm and by God I’d do him in a flash if he wasn’t gay (so he said). Damn waste of good pork.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 11.05.2010 @ 5:55 am


Back in the fifties when I was younger Marion Langland-Bell and I had a feud over that – as it turned out when I bedded him – useless creature Sir Martin Sneddon. Pity, as Marion and I used to such good friends, but I wanted his money. Marion got the chop and Sir Martin got me. I got his money when I divorced ‘Mister Floppy’.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 11.04.2010 @ 1:32 am


‘One,’ he said, ‘contains the elixir of life, of eternal youth, strength, sexual prowess and beauty.’
‘What’s in the other one?’ our hero asked.
The wizard eyed him warily. ‘Two litres of my piss. Choose wisely.’
‘I think I’ll pass…’
‘Drink my piss!’ The wizard was becoming quite belligerent.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 11.03.2010 @ 2:22 am


One of my greatest ambitions is to stage my own death. Just to see what happens. To see if people would really miss me. Or if they’d all be glad to see the back of me. Hhmm…

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 11.02.2010 @ 1:51 am


Fangs? Oh, I get it. It’s the Hallowe’en connection. Just that you’re a whole day late. Hallowe’en was yesterday. And stop bloody well commercialising it! I made a lantern out of a turnip – not a pumpkin – in protest.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 11.01.2010 @ 2:54 am


‘Life is an adventure,’ he said.
‘Yes,’ Parkin replied, ‘but you’re the one with the gun and you don’t have AIDS.’
‘Yeah, well. Serves you right for having sex with a monkey.’
‘Her name was Danielle and she wasn’t a monkey. A bit hairy for a woman, granted.’

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.31.2010 @ 8:42 am


When he said he hadn’t missed me I asked him what he did in jail to eleviate the lonliness. He said he’d been a bitch for a while but then he’d got a few for himself. I had no idea what he was talking about. I mean , they don’t allow pets in jail.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.29.2010 @ 12:47 am


She was rather ugly and labouring under the impression she could sing like a siren. The truth of the matter was that her singing was most unsiren-like; she sang like Celine Dion, like the noise a bagful of angry cats would make.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.28.2010 @ 1:29 am


‘You know who I hate? Hmm? That skinny Canadian woman, the one that sang that “Titanic” garbage.’
‘Yeah. She sounds like a bag of angry cats.’
‘Serene Dion.’

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.27.2010 @ 1:53 am


A beach in winter. The sharp, cold air mixed with the salt-tang of the sea; disconsolate seabirds crying overhead; the flat, empty beach; and on the shoreline, a dead mermaid being eaten by the crabs.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.25.2010 @ 9:04 pm


I’ve been doing this for some weeks now and I can honestly say I’ve never come across a single word that has inspired even one iota of decent writing.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.25.2010 @ 1:28 am


Hallowe’en will soon be upon us and I have to decide which costume to wear to this year’s ball; last year’s Reverend Canaan Banana was a triumph and will be hard to beat. Strictly entre nous I was thinking of a Cardinal Woolsey…

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.21.2010 @ 1:56 am


The waiter placed a large platter of rice on the table.
‘What’s this?’
‘You asked for more rice, ma’am.’ The waiter picked an non-existant crumb from the perfectly-pressed table cloth.
‘I asked for more ice.’

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.20.2010 @ 1:11 am


I had octopus soup once but when the waiter brought it to my table I saw it had a fly in it.
‘Waiter!’ I called. ‘What’s this fly doing in my octopus soup?’
‘The backstroke.’ The waiter replied disdainfully.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.19.2010 @ 1:04 am


– Do you remember that awful time we had to take the bus? I had to ask that young man to give me his seat!
– Actually, you hit him with your umbrella and accused him of stealing your handbag before he gave you his seat.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.18.2010 @ 1:46 am


I was going to buy a telescope today but didn’t. The reviews for the one I liked were terrible and I couldn’t afford a more expensive one. Life.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.16.2010 @ 12:19 pm


I can’t bear it when people get in my way, particularly if I’m in a hurry or if it’s raining. No, especially if it’s raining; I seem to draw people like a magnet. Just as long as they don’t actually touch me, the stinking drones.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.15.2010 @ 2:30 am


The rain fell in sheets of water as if someone were throwing down huge panes of glass. The roaring noise made Pedro uneasy. Sheet, he thought. Eez eet ever gonna stop sheeting it down?

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.14.2010 @ 2:15 am


The flannel in the bathroom, the white one that lay over the side of bath, the one with the embroidered blue duck, had been used to mop up someone’s vomit and then thrown into the toilet.
My granmother’s bridge parties were getting out of hand.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.13.2010 @ 1:09 am


There is no sunshine today, only grey sunlight. Autumn is here now and the long summer days are memories. Cool, damp air and washed out sunlight, fox-coloured leaves and kids in gumboots.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.11.2010 @ 1:08 am


I do not indulge in chatter. Every single word I use is carefully chosen and everything I say is done as succinctly and as briefly as possible to give me more time to spend writing great things.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.10.2010 @ 7:40 am


John Lennon would have been 70 today if Mark Chapman – the gun-happy, assassinating nutcase – had left him alone. Yoko said it’s right to celebrate because his spirit remains. I think she meant ‘royalties’.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.09.2010 @ 12:03 am


The realisation that this site is rubbish has grown on me over the last few days. The incessant stream of pointless words like ‘buildings’ and ‘grown’ and their inherent inability to conjure up anything remotely interesting has left me feeling let down.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.08.2010 @ 12:41 am


When I was a child at school I was the tallest person in my class. I was also the cleverest. Thus, I used to associate intelligence with height until I met Martin Carr who was six feet six and as thick as two short planks. Now I’m suspicious of tall people who appear clever.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.07.2010 @ 12:37 am


Now really this is getting silly. How on earth is anyone supposed to come up with something remotely interesting with a word like ‘walk’? It’s as bad as ‘building’. Come on oneword and cxome up with more provocative words like fu

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.06.2010 @ 12:56 am


Buildings? I have to say that some of these daily words are completely rubbish. Unless you’re an architect or a builder or something I can’t think that you’d have any real interest…Apart from living in one I couldn’t care less about buildings.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.05.2010 @ 12:49 am


There is nothing in fiction that is no more than a tale; that is its greatest strength. Fiction creates tales that can take the reader anywhere and any time in history. It is sad when people realise that tales are just lies made up to amuse.

» Posted By Kitty Littertray On 10.04.2010 @ 2:31 am

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