Comments Posted By JaneDoe
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When i was little, thoughts were for imagination.
Now they’re for boys.
When i was little, hands were for patty cake.
Now they’re for boys.
When i was little, lips were for smiles.
Now they’re for boys.
When i was little, knees were for scraping.
Now they’re for boys.
When i was little, virginity was for keeping.
Now they’re for boys.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 05.02.2013 @ 12:09 am
The shut my cluth, locking away the unlit matches. I would never open it again. Itwas theleast i could do. I told him i would never smoke. And then we were in the car, he was drunk passed ot and i took a puff. I never saw the car comming.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 04.27.2013 @ 11:39 am
the shocking feeling of waking up a second time. It hurts. and pain is the first thing you know. Which sucks, because you continue to feel pain your whole life. Being in a war brings one pain. A whole lot of it.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 04.26.2013 @ 6:19 pm
The scenery i have on mind is a thin, cold violet sky. But the horizon that i gaze upon is an early summer sunrise. The orange rays slowly wake onto my eyes, clipping the houses ahead. “Ahh summer at last” I think to myself. “Its finally here.” I go back to this same time, last year. And remember you. The sun in your hazel stare, and hands soft around mine.
How you held me tight in your arms and watched me as i said goodbye to the sun.
Oh, how i dreaded summers end. How i dreaded the return of that eerie crisp wind.
I remember the last time i saw the sun in your eyes, and felt the grasp of your hands. I remember the coldness i felt when your arms weren’t there to hold me and how alone i felt when even the sun left.
Cause you were my summer. And when summer left, you had as well.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 03.28.2013 @ 6:55 pm
In the wooden stalls behind me are filled with displeased children in suits and briefcases. The judges seat risen high. His face covered in white chalk and cheeks dabbed with red rose cream. Lips blackened with paint and wig filled with the fake white curls. The jury’s faces masked as rabbits and phillies. With a room filled with only silence, their strictened eyes carried upon me, scream.
Gavel pounded and glances towards the judge ” The defendant, found guilty on all charges and is sentenced to a painful eternity filled with lies and heartbreak.” No applause, the children rip off their suits and drop their suitcases and carry on outside the metal door. The jury walk orderly through the hidden door, and the judge just sits to admire me.
And soon my heart will be caged and drowned with everything I’ve deserved.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 02.28.2013 @ 11:06 pm
The house i grew to adore, and happily call it my home. My safe haven. The house with floors so speck polished, and stair banister shining silver all the way down. A house you consider movie-like prestige. No blemish of the raw furniture around, spic and span they say. And the fragrance of cherry blossom fields on a spring day filled the air.
But the house that i reside my anxious being is burned crisp. Floors carrying the ashes of objects that once meant something. The banister melted away, and furniture in dusted quantities. The aroma of pity and burnt wood i dare not to inhale.
He’s finally arrived. Signaling me to come outside and join him, he knocks on the splintered door. His subtle gesture, echos the empty space in which is all that remains. I rush, but try to seem not so frantic that its time. How should i answer? Act cool, act displeased, act ready? Ready. That’s exactly what i am, have been for the long hours of waiting.
He says no words, but smiles. Takes my hand and kisses it with gentleness. And begins to carry it until opening my door and leading me in.
Heading off, but not into a sunset.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 02.28.2013 @ 7:40 am
Stepping into the shower, the water begins to gently peddle my closed eyes. Looking down i watch as the pretty red follows down the drain. More blood than water, it makes me feel as if i just brutally murdered someone.
The water burns my fresh cuts. The burning sensation throughout most of my body, pleasures me. Glancing down again, just clear liquid runs down.
I sit on the wet floor. Legs bundled against my chest, I use my joined arms to carry myself tightly together. With my face buried in i begin to focus on the the way the water flows around my naked skin.
I slowly slip away. Peacefully in my own disturbed solitaire. Free from the haunting thoughts waiting for me outside the door. Away from the tormenting illusions and demeaning voices ready to devour me. Safe from the dark depression that imprisons me.
Breathing feels too easy, and momentary serenity rushes my veins. Maybe even slight delight.
Then i’m awoken by the pounding on the door signaling my placidity is over. And the dream i was so captive in is now my sick reality. I’m forced back into the world ready to destroy me all over again.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 02.27.2013 @ 2:10 am
There’s a savage dragon within the walls of my flesh undermine. Throbbing , throbbing, throbbing from inside! His running fire burning through my veins. Unheard roars breaking through the brittle barriers. And day by day his cries are louder, but yet no one can hear. One day his voice will no more breathe the flames, burning his vehement soul out. The cave around will bury him. And i too, shall perish .
» Posted By JaneDoe On 02.23.2013 @ 11:23 pm
There’s a savage dragon within the walls of my flesh undermine. Throbbing , throbbing, throbbing from inside! His running fire burning through my veins. Unheard roars breaking through the brittle barriers. And day by day his cries are louder, but yet no one can hear. One day his voice will no more breathe the flames, burning his vehement soul out. The cave around will bury around him. And i will die with him.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 02.23.2013 @ 11:20 pm
“How are you?” He said with a small warm smile. How are you; The gesture we all know, but the answer we will never be able to figure out. My mind traces down the long list of answers:
” Oh I’m fine.” Carried with a smile like his. But mine is just a beautiful lie covering the true disappointment. And i still think to myself how bizarre it is that i’m everything else. How it’s so easy to deceive everyone and even yourself. . And how everything else is hidden behind a fake smile and guilty conscious
» Posted By JaneDoe On 02.05.2013 @ 4:46 pm
You continue so effortlessly to lie to me. And with every word my heart swells. Like harmful little honey bees. And with each lie proclaimed, your stinger stabs. And the pain of poison slows down the process of every beat. And soon this flower will be out of the sweet taste of honey you so much crave. Killing the flower one petal at a time. You love me. You love me not.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.30.2013 @ 3:42 pm
It beats with a thud in my chest, then vibrating the blood in my veins. It starts hurting to breathe. And the oxygen in my lungs are suffocating.
Every time you hurt me, My heart swells. Your lies like poison bees. And when you deceive me, it starts to sting. Soon the flower will be out of honey, and my heart will be bitter and cold.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.30.2013 @ 3:33 pm
When you’re just a little girl, you already have your mind set on the fake reality of finding your true love, Moving into a cozy home where all the houses on the block have green glass and pretty little yellow daisies, and you’d have little ones. While you read your book and daddy reads his newspaper they run around acting like little superheros.
But then they grow up, and they suffer from the hate in their hearts and lies of the world. And their once known youth is gone. So when something dark does happen, there won’t be superheros.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.29.2013 @ 7:17 pm
You lived your life on a long rode full of wonderful experiences and beautiful sights. Now your engine has stop running and your wheels have come to a halt. You’ve arrived at your final destination: the long bridge to serenity. But you deny the walk across.
I can’t see you, but i feel you. You resemble the wind. Unseen but it’s presence is strong. But like wind, you’re only something with the air.
That night your footsteps felt so surreal. My heart beating to each one. As fast as your cadence and as loud as your stomps.
Mommy- i need you to cross your bridge. Get to the otherside. and if you wait for me, someday i will join you. And we will hop into your fast car and go on our own adventure.
One that will never end.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.28.2013 @ 11:29 am
Speak to me with out using your voice. Use your lips with mine. Foreign or fluent, I’ll always understand. Your words like magic running through my lines. With sparks and fireworks we combine. Creating the truest of poetry. Verses connecting with rhymes. So speak out loud or whisper it in my ear. I’ll always listen to you, my dear.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.26.2013 @ 6:47 pm
If life was a musical, we’d all self combust.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.23.2013 @ 10:36 pm
Never stopping on this midnight swim in the ice water atmosphere. But this was a rare night. One step away from falling off the cliff to my insanity. Silent enough for my eyes to float with the stars. But a cat’s subtle meows startled me.
I had no idea where I was going. Lost in the turns and deadends of this footed rollercoaster .
The air was a painted picture and ghosts slipped in or out of every breath. The street lamps were smothered by the Dark Goddess of Night. Using the moon’s vague light as my North Star. Asphalt pebbles dance under my feet.. Treading through this unsounded alley. Narrowed by tall walls hiding the end. Following phantoms erasing my steps as I go. The compelling urge to look at what lurks behind.
But I know the only thing that will kill me is the darkness in my mind.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.13.2013 @ 3:03 pm
Can a compass lead you to your Wonderland? Cause that’s where my heart desires to rest. But I’m lost. Stuck in the jungles of hate. Stuck in the sea of deception. Stuck in the valley of sorrow. Stuck in the deserts of death. Stuck in the mountain sides of depression. And the compass I use is pointing me into disaster. It’s lying to me. When it says.go North I’m doing south. And the farther I go, the farther my Wonderland is behind.
Maybe my compass is making me go the difficult way. Maybe it’s teaching me that to get to the treasure you must endure the worse.
But it feels like I’m going in circles. I’v suffered these landmarks. And yet no Wonderland.
I’m starting to enter the city of Lost Hope.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.13.2013 @ 3:50 am
Tears that flow like streams. Tears that fall like cascades. Tears that taste like the old sea. Tears that dry clear like crystals. Tears with a warm getaway like the beachy sands in paradise. Tears hidden like secret gardens. Tears gone like each day that passes. Smiles like sunshine on a warm spring day.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.12.2013 @ 3:35 am
”Promise me you’ll never leave me, pinky swear.” As she looked above herself to look to me with her innocent twinkled lit eyes. I felt the cover of guilt wrap around me knowing it would be the most empty promise I make. ” I pinky swear promise” with my oversized pinky tangled with hers.
She smiled with such glee, it hurt me even more. Knowing one day she’ll blame herself for being so foolish to think that promises were real. And I’d be the first person to teach her this.
We all learned at some time.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.08.2013 @ 9:33 pm
Whether by the temptations to bite into the sweet poison of an innocent apple. Or pricking your finger from the beautiful lie of a silver thread spinner. Smashing your head at the bottom of the hole to Wonderland. Drowning in the disbelief of fairy fantasies. Betting your soul for legs with the thought of love with someone not of your being. Maybe Swallowed by lies like a whale. Or drinking away the sorrows of being different by the size of ears.
Dreams to die from a reference of fairytales~
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.06.2013 @ 11:52 pm
Whether by the temptation to bite into the poison of an innocent apple. Or the desire to prick your finger from the beautiful lie of a silver thread spinner. By drowning in the disbelief of fairy dust. Smashing your head into wonderland. Betting your soul for a pair of legs for the chance of love with someone not of your being. Lies swallowing you up like a whale. Drinking away the sorrows of being different just from the size of your ears. Fighting a war of men that’s not yours to protect the ones you love. Living amongst predators in the wild jungle. Maybe even being tricked into the belly of a wolf ready to eat the red you wear. Dreams to die a refernce of Fairytales.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.06.2013 @ 11:39 pm
Whether by the temptation to bite into the poison of an innocent apple. Or pricking your finger from a fascination of the beauty of a silver thread spinner. By being drowned with the disbelief in fairy fantasies. Smashing head first into your wonderland. Betting your soul for the chance of true love with someone not of your kind. Facing stronger foes for crowning King of the Jungle. Dreams of dying a fairytale and never being saved.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.06.2013 @ 11:12 pm
In a life-span streaching thick at only 14 years young, you expect them to not know anything you ”grownups” already do. But I don’t feel 14. My body at youth but mind at aging. I know things, that I shouldn’t know. Dark things. Somethings a 14 year old girls shouldn’t feel.
So go ahead and say I haven’t experienced anything yet. But you have no idea.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.05.2013 @ 12:07 pm
Awoken by what I expect to be the sunrise shining through my windows on a beautiful sunday morning. Barely looking up with tired eyes the light that shines above so bright it blinds me. But looking away doesn’t seem to be an option, so captive in this mysteriously stunning horizon. No longer feeling the sensation of laying in my warm bed, I now feel as if I’m floating upward into the illumination. My feet dangles, instead of being supported by the solid ground.
I finally manage the chance to glance down. But what I see stops the beating in my heart and chokes me on the air. Staring down so scared at what seems to be – Me.
How can this be? Why am I just laying there. Looking so peacefully asleep in the safety of my covers. I can’t stop drifting away. Starting to rise further , my first impulse is to panic. I need to wake up. WAKE UP! My screams disturb the sick silence. I feel the light-headness of yelling so scarce, but continue anyway. Why won’t I just wake up from this nightmare? Why can’t my unconscious self hear my cries of desperation?
Soon enough only the light is vivid. My bedroom scene is something of the darkness. My still body vanished with the rest. The sour tears running off my face disappear with the empty shadows. Repeating under my faint breath” This isn’t real. This can’t be real. no.no.No!”
Searching into the nothingness that grows every time I get closer to the light. I don’t even know why I’m still trying. Still sobbing, I can’t make sence of any of this. Then I heard his voice. So majestic. So sturdy. So reassuring. So calm. So heavenly. Coming near to him. He looks so nobel. Like he understands me. I think he knows the answer that i’m wanting. But I also think he knows that I already know it too. ” Hush now my dear child. You are still you, my sweet. Here take my hand, and let me guide you into the light. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”
So deeply into his trance, I take hold of his warm gentle hands and together we walk into the light I was so once terrified of.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.05.2013 @ 1:24 am
Looking up, the light shines bright. Blinding me. My eyes are so captive in this bright fire burning it’s difficult to just look away. I feel as if i’m floating upwards. My feet dangle, and aren’t lifted by the solid ground. I manage to glance down. With my surprise , I seem to be looking at myself. How can this be?
Why am I just laying there. I can’t stop drifting away. Starting to get higher, my impulse is to panic. I need to wake up. Wake up! Screaming my heart out, hoping my unconscious self will hear and awake from this nightmare. But she’s in deep sleep.
Soon enough, only the light is vivid. Tears steaming down my face, repeating under my breath, this isnt real. This can’t be real. No. no. no.
Looking down still , behind me the shining light won’t go out. It’s dark. Nothingness. Where am I being led to?
Still sobbing, trying to make sence of what’s happening to me. I hear hia voice. So heavenly. So majestic. So reassuring. So calm. ” Hush now my child, you haven’t become somebody else, you’re still you my sweet. Take my hand and enter the light with me. You’ll be safe. I promise.” So deeply in his trance, just dried tears lay on my face, I touch his warm soft hands and we walk into the light .
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.04.2013 @ 9:47 pm
Placed into this bitter-sweet world as another number amongst these digit proned. You may have a name but it doesn’t place you. The numbers stick to you like plastic magnets on a fridge. You can’t escape them. Shed them. Or hide. I mean how can you run from yourself?
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.03.2013 @ 6:37 pm
Placed in this bittet-sweet world as a number amongst other digit proned. You may have a name, but it doesn’t place you. These numbers are stuck to you like plastic magnets to your fridge. Can’t escape them. Shed therun from yourself?m. Or hide. How can you
» Posted By JaneDoe On 01.03.2013 @ 6:31 pm
I am women , hear me
R A W R ~
How many chicks are you kissing at midnight? Hah, happy new year.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 12.31.2012 @ 5:18 pm
Back To Stats Page
There will be tears. I have no doubt.
Sure, there will be smiles, but just a few.
And when those tears have run out.
Sure, I’ll be numb and blue.
» Posted By JaneDoe On 12.30.2012 @ 2:43 pm