Comments Posted By Chelsea

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bond

i already bonded with this word. it was quite absurd, and probably smelled similar to a turd, what’s tomorrows word? bird? how about curd? cottage cheesy makes me queasy

» Posted By chelsea On 03.12.2017 @ 11:34 am

james
a carpenter who reframes
but doesn’t not specialize in stains
james
aims
to win in small claims
but only on tv
because he’s bond
james bond

» Posted By chelsea On 03.11.2017 @ 10:07 pm

declaration

She sighed as she remembered what he’d told her the following day, staring down at the gravel beneath her boots and imagining his heart was at her feet instead. She couldn’t be gentle, she could only be true.

» Posted By Chelsea On 02.18.2017 @ 11:57 pm

oven

Her mind felt like an oven. Hot, blistering, cooking her happy thoughts into nothing but charred little bits of gristle no one wanted to even look at. The anger squirmed around in her thoughts, turning every positive notion into ash. Not ice water, or fans, or arctic cool could soothe her suffering.
“It’s all in your head” she told herself, trying to remain calm, but for the burning. But that just made things worse, didn’t it? The fact that it was all in her head. There was no escape, no dream of awakening, no easing her negativity from her own mind, she was stuck right here until it passed. And who knew when that would be?
Taking a deep breath in she searched for a source of her sudden fury. She was met with confusion and fright and a hollow aching, all of these tempestuous emotions hurling themselves against the walls of her mind. It seemed as though her thoughts, so loud and wordless, were trying to fight their way out into an actual existence. They were clawing through her brain, as though they might seep out through her ears to become charred monsters set on terrorizing her and anyone she loved.

» Posted By Chelsea On 09.06.2016 @ 8:33 pm

setup

Marcella straightened the butter knives next to the flowered china plates, giving the whole table setup one last look-over. Everything must be perfect. The dual candle sticks lit the table with an eerie glow, setting the mood for what would be a most interesting evening.
When Joshua arrived home, he would be very pleased; the house would be cleaned, dinner would be set, and Marcella would be wearing the dress he liked best on her, it was a perfect anniversary evening.
Pulling the golden, crisp chicken from the oven she began carving and placing Joshua’s dinner on his plate. He was due to arrive home any minute. Marcella felt surprisingly calm, given what she was about to do. She’d expected to be nervous, frightened; what if she failed? But the only emotions that filled her were determination and a sick giddiness in the pit of her belly.
The years of torment, the cruel words, the abuse, the rape were all going to stop tonight. And only one of the spouses would make it to see the sunrise tomorrow.

» Posted By Chelsea On 06.14.2016 @ 3:39 pm

dawn

It always felt like the world was ending. The terror ripped through my body, shoving its dirty fingers down my throat, clutching my lungs, and scraping at my knotted stomach. I was a mess of tears, gasping, and crumbling in on myself to keep from exploding everywhere at once. I tried to wish it away; I tried to explain it away; but relief never game easy.
“It’s just another panic attack,” I tried to reason with myself. I needed to remember my breathing exercises, I had to breathe, remember to breathe. But how do you breathe when your whole universe is caving just under the surface of your skin?
“It’s just another panic attack. Everything will be okay…” I caught my breath for just a moment, “right?”
Wrong. I was hurtled again into airless torment. Nothing was okay, nothing was right, it was all backwards and upside down, tangled, twisted, and hopeless. My world was ending, this was it. The attacks could last for just minutes, but sometimes hours. Grief poured from my eyes, and my white tipped fingers held as tight as they could around my stomach, willing myself to stay in one piece.
Squeezing my head between my desperate hands I held my breath. I needed to breathe, I just had to remember how to breathe. Yet there were so many prickly, needle-like thoughts jabbing themselves into any sense of reason I could muster. My mind was screaming for respite, I gasped, and coughed, and gasped again, clutching fist-fulls of hair, grabbing for anything that might stabilize me enough to break free.
My lungs stretched out once more, reaching for oxygen, finally being rewarded with precious relief. The numbing buzz of fright in my head slowly quieted. A few more deep breaths and the fog had nearly gone.
I laid back on my bed, just breathing, thankful for the silence. The things I would never know, never control, never understand seemed more distant and intangible. I could feel the soft fabric of my comforter, hear the chirping birds waking in their nests, see the specks of dust floating across the rising rays of sun through the window.
The world was still moving.
As if nothing ever happened, the dawn rose again. And so would I.

» Posted By Chelsea On 06.08.2016 @ 2:39 pm

jealous

A radiant glow set over the dewy morning campus. Signs of life began to stir; squirrels hustled about their daily routine, birds hopped around, pecking at the moist earth, and sleepy students meandered, clutching cups of coffee, notepads, and backpacks. Right on the dot of 8 o’clock, she emerged from the dorms and into the sunlight of the yard.
Cecilia had been my closest friend since preschool, and she was perfect. She was everything I’d tried my whole life to be; smart and beautiful, with the kind of sense of humor everyone adored, quick wit, and a laugh that echoed into your soul for days. She had that perfect quirky-dream-girl quality about her. I couldn’t help but feel like her life was some undocumented romantic comedy full of silly little misunderstandings where everything seemed haywire, but it all worked out in the end.
My life was nearly the opposite. I’d had a tough childhood, and so far, an even more difficult adulthood. I had always been lean and shapeless, with crooked teeth, and a sensitive soul.
The jealousy came like a fluttering bird in my stomach. It started out frantic, erratic, ever flapping, and then pecked at my guts, trying to get out. It was a desire to change, but hope that maybe that wasn’t necessary. It was endless unanswered questions; Why couldn’t I have that? How was it fair? Was I too far a misfit to ever be able to mold myself into such a vastly different roll? And would I be able to handle the change if given the chance?
Despair and a little self-loathing set in as I stuffed my face back into my studies. I would never be meant for such things…

» Posted By Chelsea On 06.07.2016 @ 7:06 pm

undone

Coming emotionally undone, feeling yourself fall apart from the inside out, losing stability, losing control of your emotions, vulnerable and wanting to hide it from the world.

» Posted By chelsea On 05.16.2016 @ 8:34 pm

peripheral

my peripheral vision is blurred by what will always lie behind me.. something i can no longer see, and something i perceived so differently than I would, had the happenings happened today.. agree to disagree, i’m moving quickly, but not by choice… the peripheral vision follows me.. and it’s there your shadow will always reside.. it’s not dark, but there, it’s easy to hide. blurred just enough that I can’t even make out your face. You’re just a shadow now.

» Posted By chelsea On 03.13.2016 @ 12:38 pm

unhinged

My brain feels like it’s becoming unhinged. Small pieces of me leave my mind, like I’m slowly unraveling into bare bones and skin, a shell of something that could have been – should have been much greater. I twist and turn and grab for the scrambling pieces of myself, but they slip away in the nick of time and I’m left empty handed, empty minded, alone to become a shadow.

» Posted By Chelsea On 03.02.2016 @ 6:25 pm

clever

clever you left me stranded and alone in a field of nightmares disguised as dreams, a maze that only you knew how to navigate, and i’m here.. but where am I? all i can see is open sky, and the uncertainty lying beyond the stars at night.. i’m afraid, but I keep going. doubting the person I am because of the mistakes I’ve made.. such a shame to live this way. I can’t help but to beat myself up, but over what? clever – you didn’t leave me anywhere but with myself, and it was there that I found my demise, I found out who my worst enemy was, it was me all along, clever for you to allow me to see the real me.. hiding behind the person you always thought I was, could be – and the person you wanted me to be, for me… I was there all along, just waiting to pull myself under. The devil isn’t on my shoulder – the devil is within me. I am the devil, and I am afraid of myself.

» Posted By chelsea On 02.01.2016 @ 10:50 am

duration

long, the winding road of life
seemingly bending in and out of view
hiding dreams, hope and shielding despair
of our youth.

» Posted By Chelsea On 12.23.2015 @ 12:33 pm

toned

Being toned has become an obsession. Men are asked to show their muscles or abs off in order to ascertain their worth as a fellow “manly man”. But being fit/toned/in shape does NOT “make the man” in my opinion.

» Posted By Chelsea On 07.06.2015 @ 7:46 pm

resting

thanks

» Posted By chelsea On 04.22.2015 @ 7:40 pm

gardener

gardener. at first I thought of gardener snake. I used to play with them when I was younger… like.. 20 years ago. They’d climb in the cracks in the rock wall thing we had in our backyard.. gross. i’d never try to do that these days. ever. never ever. i’d be afraid of getting bitten! .. i would never be an actual gardener because of spiders!

» Posted By chelsea On 04.08.2015 @ 10:14 pm

harness

I can’t. This harness is holding me back. Holding me back from all I desire, all I long to do and be and become. I want to see those skies, permeate the clouds. It can’t hold me back anymore. I am untying, letting go. Here I go. My Freedom, the future, is here.

» Posted By Chelsea On 02.21.2015 @ 9:47 am

olive

Her parents always painted her bedroom shades of green. “Olive to match our Olive!” they would say. SHe hated that, but there wasn’t much she didn’t hate about them. Who names a child Olive? She always vowed thatwhen she had kids she would name them someting normal like john of susan.

» Posted By Chelsea On 12.30.2014 @ 10:47 pm

leveled

He stared for a long time at her bare feet, fixated on them. Rigid. Cold. How something so perfect had fallen so far, he would never know. And he would never get a chance to ask her.
Instead he breathed in the cold air, glanced at the coroners and police officers and reporters swarming around the scene, and whispered a soft goodbye before turning away, leaving the leveled home and the love of his life in ashes.

» Posted By Chelsea On 12.10.2014 @ 11:22 am

headband

Hers was orange and that’s all I remember about it. The rest of the night was too hazy. All I could see through fog machines and a drunken stupor was the damn headband. Bright orange. Could’ve seen her for miles. I woke up on the bathroom floor, but nobody had seen an orange headband. She was gone.

» Posted By Chelsea On 12.08.2014 @ 4:23 pm

eleven

The eleventh hour of every day always starts with a harsh beeping. My dreams are halted, and I’m ripped away from the worlds I create. The reality of the world around me seems so dismal compared to the one inside my mind. I could swim around in dream world for days and days, and never get sick of the sights. But the real world comes to me every morning with a buzz and beep as unpleasant as itself.

» Posted By Chelsea On 11.18.2014 @ 3:01 pm

transform

I leave my body, my soul ascends into the universe. I don’t have to feel or think or need. I am free, truly and completely. That body was a prison for something too gentle and kind to be trapped in such a space. I am free to be with my sister stars, transformed from star stuff, to person-hood, to be returned once more.

» Posted By Chelsea On 11.17.2014 @ 11:49 am

thrown

Thrown across the bed in a fiery rage, Michelle felt the fear crawl up into to heart and settle. Kevin didn’t pursue her but his hatred was still filling the room with hot air as he exhaled sharply. “I didn’t want to have to do that but you left me no choice.” he finally said.

» Posted By Chelsea On 10.09.2014 @ 11:01 am

vocal

It almost made me cringe, the way our voices came out like that. Too loud and wanting. I was embarrassed to be like this after I had spent so much time trying to be quiet, trying to stuff it down, trying to suffocate it. We seemed too old to sing but when I heard her voice crack next to mine it made me smile, made my mouth open, made my shoulders rest down and my head bend back.

» Posted By chelsea On 07.07.2014 @ 10:07 am

rafters

My feet hung from the rafters and I looked down. There was Scott, there was Elizabeth, there was…I looked up. We had been meeting here for three weeks now, talking and smoking and deciding how we would do it.

» Posted By chelsea On 07.02.2014 @ 3:34 pm

educated

Stiff piece of paper
a name
a signature
B.S., it says,
failing to mention
the couple thousand lines
of debt
created to–supposedly–say
“I’m educated”

» Posted By Chelsea On 05.27.2014 @ 8:40 am

compete

Now, there is a lot of competition. People compete every day for things like grades, colleges, etc. It seems like people just care about moving forwards in the world and competing. Competition scares me. There’s too much of it. People are so aggressive and scary. People change during competition.

» Posted By Chelsea On 03.14.2014 @ 9:42 pm

seated

He was seated on the bus across from me. His eyes staring, taking me in. I was doing the same.
His broad form, muscular yet gentle looking kept my eyes glued to his pecks. But the bus came to a stop and he got up to exit the bus. But as he walked by he tossed a note at me with his number written on it.

» Posted By Chelsea On 02.25.2014 @ 11:52 am

unkempt

Her hair was messy and unkempt. The lack of care made it matty and full of knots. The poor thing, was cold, and wet.

Living on the streets had to be hard, and I found myself reaching out for her, trying to help her. I suddenly wanted to show this sad girl the world.

» Posted By Chelsea On 02.03.2014 @ 11:19 am

tracking

I had been tracking her for weeks now. She was so quick though. I couldn’t hardly keep up with her. This bounty was going to be hard to catch. Not only that but once I did catch her it was going to be hard to turn her in. She was a beauty, a force to be reckoned with.

» Posted By Chelsea On 01.06.2014 @ 11:24 am

mechanism

Gears click
turn like tops
pulling heartstrings to center
where they snap back
to start
all over again

» Posted By Chelsea On 12.10.2013 @ 12:39 pm

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