Comments Posted By BRRC

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My heart is locked up. .I am shutting out the world. I used to trust everyone, wanted to please everyone, wanted to give every single bit of myself to every other being other than myself. Not anymore. I am living for me. I have to pull myself out of this hole and the only way to do it is by my own bootstraps.

» Posted By BRRC On 08.05.2011 @ 9:38 pm


every move is calculated, yet entirely predictable. you called yourself “emotionally dead”, and your outer layer is cold as metal in an icebox, freezing my fingertips.

» Posted By BRRC On 04.20.2011 @ 7:01 am


i can’t stop laughing. i can’t be around you without getting in hysterics, laughing so hard that i cry, laughing so hard that i stop breathing, my stomach collapses and my insides feel like they have turned inside out.

» Posted By BRRC On 04.14.2011 @ 1:39 pm


the wound in my back from where your knife had stabbed me was severe. i couldn’t manage to make it heal. i tried avoiding you, i tried loving you, i tried not looking you in the eye. but every morning, i would wake up and that wound was still red, swollen, and ugly. it was an ever-present reminder of these days and nights that i spent with you, thinking that all was well, when all was not well.

» Posted By BRRC On 04.13.2011 @ 8:49 pm


i received something in the mail today from my high school, inviting me to the retirement picnic of one of the oldest teachers. it’s strange, i am almost two years out of there, and i still don’t see myself as an alum. i don’t necessarily see myself as a student still, but certainly not an alum.

» Posted By BRRC On 04.09.2011 @ 9:54 pm


i was going to push through this. she had told me, “if you feel something, run as far as you can in the opposite direction.” i felt something, something strong, something that was following me around like some kind of lost hound. i wasn’t going to be the same girl i’d been these past almost-20 years. i was going to run away. i was going to sprint away, in fact, run that 80 yard dash that i’d run so many times when i was younger.

» Posted By BRRC On 04.07.2011 @ 8:21 pm


the digital age is pulling us further and further from each other. people don’t author hand-written notes anymore, we don’t speak face-to-face, we fear the intimacy and let the mask of the internet consume all those fears and save us from our own insecurities.

» Posted By BRRC On 03.29.2011 @ 6:36 am


i never was good at dealing with policy. i’m really not that great at dealing with rules, although i do believe in order and justice- i trust my instinct and my conscience, and quite frankly, feel offended when somebody feels the need to tell me to do the right thing, instead of just allowing me to do it myself.

» Posted By BRRC On 03.21.2011 @ 2:39 pm


i’ve been going without shoes lately, so by the end of the day, when i get into the shower, the water runs brown for the first few minutes because i’ve been running around in the dirt all day. the dirt never really leaves the crevices in my heels, however, and they always remain a little “dirty”, but i’m not sure if that’s the most adequate description- really, i just feel like i’m carrying a part of the earth around with me everywhere i go.

» Posted By BRRC On 03.15.2011 @ 1:57 pm

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