Comments Posted By AngelDuCiel

Displaying 1 To 30 Of 76 Comments

distant

The worst part is,
I let myself feel hope
And now I hurt
It’s my fault
He’s distant.

Congrats on being the last one I get my hopes up for.
Congrats on throwing my daydreams at my feet
Like a slap in the face.

How silly of me to try
And let myself be surprised
How dare I let someone stir things in me
Beyond my control.

This was all because I let myself feel.
And I will never let myself forget that.

» Posted By angelduciel On 06.20.2015 @ 10:36 pm

badge

You wear a badge
But it is blank
You don’t know what you stand for
So you fall for everything
Including me,
The one who smiles
and laughs
even though I’m storming
and panicking
diconnected
wondering
hoping you feel the same
wonder where this will go
You wear a badge of my name
You pin it in your skin
And leave the trail of blood out the door.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 04.29.2015 @ 11:25 pm

win

I cannot win
It is torture to look at the person you love every day and realize they don’t feel the same way about you.
It’s torture to touch someone who’s empty and hollow.
It’s torture to be suffocating the only thing that allows you to breathe.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 04.22.2015 @ 1:17 am

kingdom

In a kingdom by the sea
we used to Be
Him and me

Now the body of water only flows
from my eyes
down my nose

My body’s way of
trying to reunite with
the sea
And what my eyes
Used to see

No longer
are we hand in hand
lip to lip
in the sand

and what i no longer
have to be

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 04.19.2015 @ 11:24 pm

In a kingdom by the sea
we used to Be
Him and me

Now the body of water flows
from my eyes
down my nose

My body’s way of
trying to reunite with
the sea

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 04.19.2015 @ 11:20 pm

walking

You changed
I don’t know you anymore
And I don’t care to know who you’ve become.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 04.18.2015 @ 10:13 pm

savage

-Soundtrack of our live-

Dreams have long passed
And I wonder if you dream of me too.
In the mist, we talk like we used to.
Bold words – underlined
But still a secret. Our own world
That spins back into us.. Tangling us together.
And we listened, to the soundtracks of your life,
Of our short lives together. Taking in every breath
And every moment. Living in it,
In a golden carriage covered in pain, we found
Our sanctuary.

Laughing like we were children
Running in the sun, uncaring of who sees.
Capturing the moment, with smiles and shutters.
Those were the melodies of our soundtrack,
Finding refuge in each other,
A comfort, no other heart could burn.

And like a bird, you called to me.
And listened to me sing back our song
And let me fly, from your palm, above anything else, any care in the world.
Until I melted and cried tears of joy.

Now, with tears I write, that this birdie is gone
And sing the song of goodbyes.
I let you go, so you can be alive
Because now, all my songs cut you deep.
And our memories burn you, and silence any song
That we ever sang together.
Our soundtrack has faded into silence.
And I fly above you now, too high for you to see. For you to hear me cry.

And I await for a life, in which we are both birds. Crying the tears only a Sparrow can weave. Until you can fly with me, and we can sing again.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 08.21.2013 @ 12:21 am

decompose

I’m looking down on myself.
My pathetic life.
I’ve watched my mind slowly decompose
My surroundings are moving but I can’t keep up
Never keep up
Never can absolve myself.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 06.11.2013 @ 12:37 pm

barren

I’ve left him, alone and barren.
Will he forgive me?
What am I to do next?

It’s best if he is pushed away
To save himself from my life of pain
Maybe one day I can live up to my shame
Hope he understands, I’m the one to blame.
I bet he regrets he ever came
Will he see, things can’t be the same?
Days run together, it feels like rain
Things always change but it remains the same.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 05.31.2013 @ 2:14 pm

oblique

I’m unique
He said so bleek
I can’t compete
But he completes

I can’t descreat
Or imagine
Without him
Beside me

I

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 05.28.2013 @ 11:12 pm

casting

you look me in the eyes, hard and stern
And await my word
But my words are casted at the sea
Each tide a wish, crashing on the sand
Swiping away each and every hope.

I will no longer go there.
That spot so haunted
No matter how much I’m tempted
No matter how much I’m taunted.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 05.21.2013 @ 3:19 pm

simplify

You strip me down. You break me down.
As if I am a sentence on a page or a screen.
As if I am the clothes I wear or the shampoo I use.
I was a brand new pencil
but you took your knife to my skin
peeling away layer by layer
until
im nothing
but
lead. And you throw me into the ocean.
And I sink.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 05.09.2013 @ 4:07 am

I just can’t bring myself to eat.
To pick up food
to look for it
to think it
It doesn’t get more simple

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 05.09.2013 @ 3:43 am

timeline

I imagine lines in a tree stump.
Lines drawn to those lines
One line drawn to the first circle- This is my rebirth. This is me holding my mother’s hand crossing the parking lot. This is snacks in the afternoon, after school has exhausted me. This is sandwiches after swimming in the pool
Lines drawn to the fifth, this is my realization that nothing is how I want it to be. This is me growing awkward with everything around me, nothing feels right to the touch.
This line describes my blood and tears and worry and hate and anger. At this point the lines are scribbles, as if carved by a shaky hand.
This is the eighth, this is regrets and hopelessness. It’s abandonment and crushed hopes.
And this line here, the one just made, is where I realize that there’s no point in anything I try. This is me feeling distant from myself and the world. This is me knowing after this month I will have no goals in my life. Nothing to look forward to.
The lines coming up will be out of shape and will no longer resemble a line and will be unbearable to watch. It will be hard to follow and read.
The last line is too blurry. It resembles the edges of pages in a book that come to a close and you know that next time you read it, it will never be the same.
Such is my timeline.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 05.03.2013 @ 1:12 am

weakling

pour concrete into your bones
but that wont strengthen your soul
fill in the shadows of doubt
but that wont make you whole

pour ink into your mouth
but that wont make you speak
sew your eyes open
but that wont make you see

spill blood onto your skin
but that can’t make you feel
paint a smile on your face
it doesn’t make it real

scream out in the darkness
but it wont make you wake
beg for his forgiveness
but you still made a mistake

dig out your worst fears
that won’t make them go away
dont let him take your hand
He’ll lead you astray

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 03.03.2013 @ 10:12 pm

flat

His eyes are flat when he looks at me with a hard frown.
His voice, as well, is flat and course as he lists out his reason why he’s leaving.
Mae culpa, mai culpa.

He whispers a lie to me, trying to reassure me of his feelings.
His words mean nothing when he is about to leave.
This is what he wants – separation-
And he always gets what he wants.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 02.13.2013 @ 9:08 pm

sweep

Are there even real pleasures in life?
Life moves on whether you’re happy or not.
Carving its numbers and letters into your face with a careless notion.
And as time progresses, every little edge gets darker, and darker,making up for the lost memories from the days when you were younger.
Life means nothing when you cannot remember anything.
Smiles never happened if you don’t remember you took the effort to make them.
The same with tears and friends and lovers.
Time erodes the faces of man like cliffs and the seas
Sweeping back and forth, back and forth in what seems
Like a crawling, sweeping, etching motion; Craddling and whispering “Remember when?”
Are there even real sorrows in life?
Life moves on whether you’re patheticly drowning or not, Just living day by day
from one pleasure, or sorrow to another.
And the words spoken and actioned played,
stay all until your next move.
But when you move on, the smiles, the laughs…
They mean nothing when life moves on this quickly.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 01.16.2013 @ 8:40 pm

compass

He is my compass, my road back home.
He is everything I’ve come to adore.
He is my way to a better life, one
Drowned in him and
One I will always cherish.
He is the road to my dreams and my hope.
And to a happy, long life.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 01.12.2013 @ 9:54 pm

must

Haiku:

I think we should run
Away; Past the lights and Sounds
We must not look back.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 01.07.2013 @ 12:46 pm

experience

I’m glad I get to experience every day with him.
Every second is a new life for me.
I’m glad the light is being brought back in to my life.

I feel like I’m falling alive.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 01.06.2013 @ 12:26 am

placed

He was placed in my mind.
He is placed in my heart.
I hear him, but I don’t want to.
I see him but I don’t want to.
I know him, and I don’t want to.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 01.03.2013 @ 5:25 pm

amount

No amount of regret will let me take it back.
Therefore, I cannot allow myself to regret.
Or else I’ll be left with nothing but it.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 01.02.2013 @ 2:50 pm

barrel

I’m like a barrel rolling down a hill, bumping into things. I can’t tell where I’m going or where I just was. All I know is that.. I’m tumbling.
And in my dreams I’m on fire.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 01.01.2013 @ 4:07 pm

sure

I’m not sure how many pills I took.
I just dumped some into my hands a few times.
It’s quite easy.
Take a few sips and all your problems magically disappear as you close your eyes and dream.
They say that dreams are for those who sleep.
And why live life from dream to dream
And live to dread the day when dreaming ends.

I dreamt a dream tonight, that dreamers often lie
In bed asleep while they do dream things true.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 12.30.2012 @ 11:28 pm

I’m not sure what I’m going to do.
I’m not sure about what I want.
I’m not sure that I can be happy.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 12.30.2012 @ 2:33 pm

soil

I haven’t soiled anything yet.
Every time I fucking hear a door slam I swear to god it’s him.
I am so sick of disappointing myself.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 12.28.2012 @ 9:35 pm

I am a soiled dove.

And this pain outlives my flesh.

The future is nothing but anticipated memories.
And people spend so much time remembering past experiences that they
forget to make new memories.

Don’t you ever wonder how different things would be if you would
just stop dwelling on the past and stop focusing on past memories?

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 12.28.2012 @ 5:42 pm

now

Just now I had to look my mother in the eyes and tell her that I was molested.
Just now I regret telling her.
Now what?

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 12.26.2012 @ 11:04 pm

fire

This fire is burning through my disguise.
It’s painting me away with every stroke
Soon there will be nothing left but memories
Tucked away in a shoebox

It’s swallowing my oxygen
Til I can’t hold my breath
Why do I let this happen?

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 12.25.2012 @ 8:05 pm

actual

The streets that separate us grow in number
We’re at the time together where we’re in perfect peace and perfect terror
together.

I can’t stand the touch of your hand
A kiss on the lips is poison.
A smile is okay
But at the end of the day
My tears turn a shade of crimson.

» Posted By AngelDuCiel On 12.24.2012 @ 7:20 am

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