• Zoe Jen commented on the post, vacant 2 years ago

    We were at arms’ length, but we couldn’t be any more apart. I find myself pleading, trying to delay the inevitable. His eyes, which used to be longing for me, are now vacantly staring ahead. Maybe he’s looking at an array of possibilities, a blank canvass to start over upon. Suddenly I’m not part of the picture anymore.

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, radius 2 years, 1 month ago

    It was supposed to go full circle. We would stay together, and we’ll withstand the trials together. You were not supposed to be on that bar that Thursday night, and suddenly reconnect with a past love supposedly over and done with. Now I’m left alone desperately trying to reach you, struggling to pretend our perfect little circle remains when in…[Read more]

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, champagne 2 years, 7 months ago

    It was the golden hour, and her champagne dress flowed all around the floor. They have never seen a debutante this charming, so intoxicated with happiness and brimming with the future’s possibilities.

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, tradition 2 years, 7 months ago

    She wasn’t supposed to question it, nor think about it. It was tradition after all–her ancestors, grandparents, even her own parents’ marriage was fixed. It’s also not as if she has someone else she loves. But to actually be in a loveless union, to mechanically go about family life, and for years on end, how can she possibly stomach the thought?

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, coat 2 years, 10 months ago

    She coats her cynicism with those sweet, cloying words that make her seem all the more alluring. Yet when all alone, stripped down, and bare, she’s actually just as desperate as everyone else.

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, pointed 2 years, 11 months ago

    His pointed finger was always on me, no matter how much I keep trying to make amends. It will never happen again, I whisper over and over to myself more than to him, despite knowing fully that he can never trust me and look at me as before. I pray everyday that we see if continuing this relationship has truly been worth it. After all, once…[Read more]

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, van 2 years, 11 months ago

    Summers at my hometown always give me nostalgia. The long drives in our family van, with the sweltering heat irritating us despite the faulty AC cranking its lowest possible temperature setting. Lazy afternoons where we would just lie on the grass and not give a care at all. That quaint town has always been boring then, but it’s the only respite I…[Read more]

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, structure 3 years ago

    My life is so mapped out, it’s almost laughable. I was the girl who always had a plan, who had every possible back-up and contingency. I prided myself in being prepared. When the structures and machinations suddenly turned against me, I was sure I am adept to handle it. I was so, very, too sure, which made me crumble all the more when I finally…[Read more]

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, regroup 3 years, 1 month ago

    It was a break for a reason. It’s high time I reassess my individuality, and let go of this blind notion that we were a team. The relationship was turning dysfunctional, even though I tried so hard to carry on regardless. And I guess this exactly was the problem, only I was carrying on. I badly needed to regroup my thoughts, alone, as they seem to…[Read more]

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, darkness 3 years, 2 months ago

    I keep on fumbling to find my way through the darkness, but I am getting so weary. I am afraid that I have already exhausted all my efforts to no avail. Is this really where I’m meant to be, lost and confused and very lonely?

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, towers 3 years, 2 months ago

    She is back to square one, with towers upon towers to climb. Years ago, she would have never thought that ambition would get the best of her, slowly turning her into someone she can’t even recognize anymore. She used to be contented, having learned to settle peacefully early on in her life. But now that she’s overworking in order to maximize her…[Read more]

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, outfit 3 years, 2 months ago

    It’s never her demeanor, no matter how “overly friendly” she seemed to you. It’s never her sexuality, never the number of partners she’s had. It’s never her outfit, or the fact that she’s drunk. Never the time as well. You don’t get to blame a rape victim just because you can’t keep your animal instincts in place.

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, cult 3 years, 2 months ago

    The movie was a sleeper hit, but quickly had cult following once it gained traction. It wasn’t picturesque, it wasn’t extraordinary, it wasn’t futuristic. Yet, it had heart and soul, and the director realized that sometimes, these are the only things we ever need.

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, chaos 3 years, 3 months ago

    Everything was out of place, and I was at wit’s end trying to solve one problem after the other. It was an orchestrated chaos, but to me it was simply a mess. Little did I know that everyone around me was bringing me down, while they led me to believe they were truly there for me. I trusted them wholeheartedly, thinking they were listening to my…[Read more]

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, tale 3 years, 3 months ago

    Despite meeting upon the most cliche premise, we were so naive to think that our story was different. We deluded ourselves into thinking that this relationship would weave the most special tale we’d ever tell, that our feelings are steadfast enough to last.

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, abundant 3 years, 3 months ago

    The fields are brimming, abundant with the season’s harvest. Just as the farmers put all their efforts in cultivating the lands, they are able to reap what they sow. I wish so fervently that the same is true with life, that as long as I work hard enough, I will be able to earn my keep. Ah, but life is not as fair,

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, prime 3 years, 3 months ago

    He was way past his prime, and he knew it. The panic attacks were sudden, big bursts of regret tinged anxiety that would last for hours. All he could do was curl on his bed and try his best to focus on other things. The medications could only do so much, and as they waned off, slowly, he is brought back to the pathetic state he can’t seem to escape.

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, noticed 3 years, 3 months ago

    I was so captivated by him that I barely noticed the red flags, the warning signs that have been there from the start. I was so focused in making the relationship work that I completely swallowed my pride, letting him dictate what he needs me to be. I suppose what they say is true, when you’re looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses, you…[Read more]

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, comedy 3 years, 3 months ago

    Like a dark comedy, I had lost my fiance the eve of our wedding. I couldn’t even tell he was uncertain, nothing was off about him. He wasn’t even trying so hard to conceal what he was going to do, he just seemed normal.

  • Zoe Jen commented on the post, dough 3 years, 4 months ago

    When you’re born in a world where you kill or get killed, where your whole family expects you to bring home the dough, where you have no other choice than be tough, what can you do?