• TGV commented on the post, buddha 3 years, 7 months ago

    Buddha is an odd kind of deity, in modern western culture the obese are seen as a blight on society. SO much so that many people share the fact that theyre trying to lose weight and many fat people are actualy treated as lesser humans for being larger, even if they’re happy and healthy. Why then, do we worship the happy little fat man so readily?…[Read more]

  • TGV commented on the post, mixtape 3 years, 7 months ago

    I listened to CHildish Gambinos mixtapes a lot when he first released. Not really sure why but I certainly liked them. I found it weird that they were caled mixtapes when i had just downloaded a bunch of mp3s but I guess phones still use the old school icon for phone whe you want to make a call… Somethings jut stick around I guess.

  • TGV commented on the post, academic 3 years, 7 months ago

    Academics write a lot of stuff so you’d think they’d be pretty good at this but then again they do a lot of thinking before they write stuff and I’m not really doing that right now I”m just typing so that doesn’t really make me an academic does it? Well, maybe if I reference this noone will notice
    (Venus, Tobias Ramblings 2016)

  • TGV commented on the post, mysterious 3 years, 7 months ago

    Whenever I look at the moon I can’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. Not the kind of satisfaction that means “oh, I’m happy the moon is where it should be, that’s nice.” No, it’s more of a “man, the moon looks sexy tonight. I’d tap the moon if it were a living being. Shit, it’s just so. fucking. beautiful. UNF!”

    Now isn’t that mysterious.

  • TGV commented on the post, attack 3 years, 7 months ago

    What’s the plan attack when you don’t have a weapon and your opponent does?
    Well you kick him in the balls of course.
    What if you’re fighting someone without testicles or false ones?
    Yeah that’s a tough one… Bring a weapon next time mate.

  • TGV commented on the post, chosen 3 years, 7 months ago

    Shano-o was chilling in his stubbies by the pool drink a ‘sport when all of a sudden a fuckin big ass angel dropped out of the sky.

    “Aw fuck me” cried shan-o.

    “No my son” the angel said. “Fuck me! You have been chosen!”

  • TGV commented on the post, twist 3 years, 7 months ago

    Earl turned around to face Eddy. “Hey bro,” Earl said.
    “Dear god!” Eddy screamed as he look at Earl in horror.
    “What’s wrong?” asked Earl.
    “Your body!” Eddy said as he pointed towards Earl’s upper torso which was pointing the opposite direction from his legs.
    “Oh this? Nah I just do some yoga twist in the morning.”

  • TGV commented on the post, bullets 3 years, 7 months ago

    When you write a shopping list you often use markers which are reffered to as bullets. Does this mean they also have the capactiy to kill? Perhaps they’re bullets in a sense that they kill things you need to do. Like, if we didn’t use bullet points maybe we do things less.
    This sounds like a study we as a human race need to do. Our productivity…[Read more]

  • TGV commented on the post, dough 3 years, 7 months ago

    Pass the dough bro Joe said to Moe.
    But bro, said Moe I aint finished with it though.

    Don’t make me go fight you for the dough yo.
    Joe said to Moe as he grabbed a garden ho.

    Moe looked at Joe, “I said no dough.”
    Then Joe swung the ho. No mo Moe.

  • TGV commented on the post, scientific 3 years, 7 months ago

    I was always interested in science but the draw of using chemicals and gasses to blow things up during class was too big of a draw to pay attention. Perhaps if I paid more attention I’d be blowing things up on a grander scale.

    Moral of the story – don’t teach science to kids who show a desire to create explosions.

  • TGV commented on the post, lightweight 3 years, 7 months ago

    Jimmy was sitting at the table with his friends. He’d drunk plenty of times before but never 3 glasses of wine. Phew, he was feeling a little different. As he poured his fourth glass Jimmy felt a weird feeling. He felt as if the world was falling away beneath him.

    “Dear god Jimmy” a friend called out as he floated past their heads and bounced…[Read more]

  • TGV commented on the post, accused 3 years, 7 months ago

    Have you ever been accused of something you didn’t do? It really sucks. You start to wonder if maybe you really did steal all of that farmers livestock. What if I am a cattle rustler? You begin to ask yourself.

    Then next thing you know you’re stealing entire farms and conquering most of the middle east.
    That’s why you never accuse someone…[Read more]

  • TGV commented on the post, swerve 3 years, 7 months ago

    A car can swerve along the road.
    A witch can boil frog and toad.
    A dog can sniff another’s bum.
    But you my friend. You aint got none.

  • TGV commented on the post, newborn 3 years, 8 months ago

    The newborn tried to stand but was unable to.
    The mother looked at it and was surprised to find it had given birth to a squid.
    That’s what happens when you drink while pregnant I suppose…

  • TGV commented on the post, turn 3 years, 8 months ago

    John drove up to the T junction.
    He wasn’t headed in any particular direction. John was just going for a drive. Wherever he went next was his choice and his choice only. He was free.

    He grinned as he chose to turn left.
    He was immediately hit by a truck and died.

    John should have gone right. He would’ve survived and died of cancer three…[Read more]

  • TGV commented on the post, outsider 3 years, 8 months ago

    Jim walked around the streets but everywhere he went people would turn their backs. He didn’t really know why, they just didn’t want to see him or really even acknowledge his existence.

    He didn’t know why. Sure, he murdered a whole family of puppies by making them fight a family of kittens with explosive strapped to their backs but surely that…[Read more]

  • TGV commented on the post, angels 3 years, 8 months ago

    The angels beat their wings in unison as they descended to the earth. One villager looked up and cried in delight – “I can look right up their dress, I can. Wouldn’t mind getting a taste of that holy grail if ya know what I mean” he said as he nudged his giggling friends.

    The angels were not amused but they ignored the man. They were here to…[Read more]

  • TGV commented on the post, delivery 3 years, 8 months ago

    Special delivery! The dog said as he walked up to the neighbours house and pooped all over the lawn. The neighbour looked out the window and didn’t really know what to think. Sure, a dog was pooping all over his lawn but he was more gobsmacked that a dog could talk. Not only that, but the first thing a talking dog said to him was rude!

    The…[Read more]

  • TGV commented on the post, boom 3 years, 8 months ago

    BOOM! A giant crashed through the building wearing nothing but a rag to cover parts of his giant body. It wasn’t customary in giant culture to cover their bodies but he figured if he was going to destroy a small person’s city he’d at least do it with what they call dignity.