so the world around her started to crumble… as she saw her parents fight like mad dogs… the hell broke lose…she could not understand what was going on in her life.. her world her parents seems to have forgotten everything….she seemed to have her house but have lost her home :’)
You know, like that one time when you ran off to Columbia and took every reminder of who you were, with you? You know, like that time when you drove away into the ether, and the only thing remaining behind was a pair of hula hoops, duct taped together with pretty little patterns. You know, like that time when we were together at five-thirty in the…[Read more]
I can’t remember the last time I looked out from between the walls. An asylum – this mental institution, this place where white is a reminder that we’re bruised up inside. You know, you think the walls have eyes? It’s just the way the light reflects, really.
You’re seeing things again, just like me, darling.
This is my love poem to no one,
piece of fantasy
wherein I claim that you’re not actually real
you pretend to be
is just compromised immunity
place to be
where I can exist free from expectations
when I can just be me –
but you keep on intruding
I’m afraid for you, sometimes. I think a little longer than I should, and I remember the way you looked the first time you told me about having been to jail.
The fact that you were scared to death of going back.
That you didn’t think orange was your color, and how even having been there, just briefly, it changed you. A black spot on an…[Read more]
Little bits and pieces of your face flow by in my mental slideshow. I’m caught up in the way you look, the way I remember you looking and the way you might look in the future.
I’m spending time with your past-present-future selves all at once in this letter I’m writing to you and wondering how your slideshow face will look as you read it.…[Read more]
Baby, I’m worth it –
But the real question is if you are.
Because I remember this time – not so long ago – when maybe you weren’t. You weren’t worth the night of revelry, the crazy self-hatred that came along with a moment (or ten) of weakness.
Call me crazy as I sit up at night and wonder.
Were you worth it?
Oh, a class act.
You’re not the kind of person who could walk through the doors and be known all at once, are you?
You’re like me.
You see, we’re the kind of people who walk around in black with dark shadows under our eyes because we know things others don’t get, yet.
They’ll understand in time, but until then, we’ll categorize our angsty…[Read more]
my father’s skin is armor; tan and tough year after year
wrinkled only from life’s work, no lines from laughter, pain, or fear
only once did he break through, the day I taught him grief exists
he knelt sobbing at my bedside; zip ties chained my bandaged wrists.
I hide behind knowledge to excuse the insane
to make sense out of love, negate heartbreak and pain
a flush of the face; a mere chemical effect
nothing in the heart a glass slide can’t reflect.
but for you, there is no thesis; no research that defines
the reason why your eyes, to me, are treasured, bright blue shrines.
the vacancy you never…[Read more]
she goes through men like paychecks; free dinners, no harm done
lipstick worn like war paint, brands the necks of every one
burns bridges like an arsonist, cuts ties like Sweeney Todd
stole one glance over her shoulder and he shattered her facade.
I’m shrink-wrapped and vacuum sealed, boxed up and hid away
you swear to me you’ll let me down; another time, a better day.
my painted lips await your kiss; my fairy tale is now a nightmare
my plastic heart beats madness, lungs breathe dreams instead of air.
he had skin of sandpaper; my lips were rubbed raw
eyes frozen in blue above a tightly clenched jaw
arms like chains on his chest; like a soldier he stands
my nails torn clean off, I throw up my hands.
confined like a steed in a merry-go-round
I exist for amusement; a sadist’s playground
in circles I run, a stake through my middle
the weight on my shoulders the most lovely riddle.
master at staring into blindingly bright lights
smile through the pain as I tiptoe at great heights
locks turned, blinds drawn, designer dress on the floor
poise runs down like mascara the minute I shut the door.