• invinculis commented on the post, ballot 2 years, 8 months ago

    life is messy and i don’t enjoy it. every day,
    another wine glass. french names too shy to
    leave my tongue until forced. meanwhile,
    i am 22 and washing behind the ears seems more
    and more a cultivated lifestyle.

    you, who still vacuum under the bed, consider the way
    the days swell and fatten under the spring sun.

  • invinculis commented on the post, misled 2 years, 8 months ago

    in the dream i am walking through the field by our childhood
    home where corn used to grow some summers
    ago. wondering as i go, fingers just
    grazing the uncultivated grass–if wildflowers
    have found their way here, if the dirt knows it can make
    something of the dead, if the dead know the field does not
    know want even as it wants. in the d…[Read more]

  • invinculis commented on the post, pawn 2 years, 9 months ago

    leaving girlhood is not yet knowing to look back
    taught the bite of desire,
    someone’s blunt teeth, gnawing, and the pain is
    newness, you think this is love
    a ring of bruises around the neck, you think
    the wet heat of your childish name
    what stays, is molded

  • folded in half on a thursday night, breathing deep. remembering the feelings you’ve lost (even that feeling of loss). times when all goodness meant you hadn’t yet thought to make contingency plans. your lungs are bigger now.

    childhood: the corner of the local library, painted to look like the sea, the lighthouse column a solitary rising gia…[Read more]

  • invinculis commented on the post, signals 6 years, 8 months ago

    each day is a struggle. the sun will not wake with me.
    lonely street lamps exhale steam through
    a second floor window.

    i breathe it in like second-hand smoke, let it fill me
    until i become a pile of ashes
    rising to the ceiling.

    “don’t you have anything to fight for?” you say.

    i nod yes. “myself”, i say, but the one skewered
    on the…[Read more]

  • invinculis commented on the post, sanctity 6 years, 9 months ago

    a refraction of light across the ceiling
    smooth like prayers in a language you
    don’t know how to speak.

    laying in the dark, hands still on your chest
    pull loose threads until they give.

    breathe it in, the taste of tears
    again in your saliva.

    (you could be looking at stars.
    these are your stars.)

  • invinculis commented on the post, think 6 years, 9 months ago

    black tar rushes up my throat again.
    i shut my teeth, but it leaks. it leaks, it leaks,
    and my white dress, the one my mother gave me
    when i once made her proud–
    i feel the silk stick to my skin.

    i can’t think. the room is stifling
    with the quiet of your arrival. it feels like loss.
    my blackened smile is something hideous that you…[Read more]

  • invinculis commented on the post, speak 6 years, 9 months ago

    our conversations
    lazy stretching into the dark
    the sound of
    getting to know myself again.

    words spill over the edge of your lips
    something we won’t remember
    but for faint watermarks left
    on the coffee table.

  • invinculis commented on the post, sound 6 years, 9 months ago

    my childhood was preparation for life without a father.
    not in the way a hand clenches a photograph, or even
    the tears product of divorce.
    i don’t mean loss.

    but i am quiet now. i sleep quiet, speak quiet, cry quiet;
    quiet burrowed in the pit of my stomach
    and there was never anyone
    to coax it out.

    when i was young, sometimes i’d walk…[Read more]

  • invinculis commented on the post, promise 6 years, 10 months ago

    every day we lived in some kind of fever,
    bodies thrown against lockers
    drawing blood with
    conviction.

    history classes spent watching
    taped documentaries–the worn faces
    of american heroes, their stories, their sorrows,
    but
    excuse me
    will this be
    on the
    test?

    high school wasn’t real life
    and it didn’t do a damn thing
    to…[Read more]

  • invinculis commented on the post, soil 6 years, 10 months ago

    my comfort comes from myself, words a hollow imitation of a warm hand.

    like this i bury myself in the shallow earth. i am not happy, but i also

    cannot breathe.

    it’s all i have, and the closest i have found to peace.

  • invinculis commented on the post, scatter 6 years, 10 months ago

    you’ve taken to filling your bed with flowers, the colors and scent
    more alive than i could ever stomach.

    at night, the sheets fold around you like the lining of a casket.

    my eyes are sinking into my skull. my bones
    sinking through the mattress, marrow leaking smooth.

    sinking, sinking,

    i fear gravity will soon find my body…[Read more]

  • invinculis commented on the post, under 6 years, 11 months ago

    i am reminded of a long necked woman with a rigid spine
    silent
    attending the opera alone.

    of dying embers
    one september night. you cradled them in cold palms,
    speckled burns like a moth’s wing. only enough
    to feel, a kiss
    brushed faint across cheekbones.

    you see, i have been running, always,
    ever since we learned the game of cops…[Read more]

  • invinculis commented on the post, spent 7 years ago

    i.

    this is not a war. we are both just scared
    of fading away.

    the way you look at this moment is
    anger—
    pinched face and twisted mouth.
    your eyes slide to mine down the length of your nose

    and my head aches.
    without noticing, i’ve grown into a copy of you, down to
    the words.

    ii.

    we sleep still under heavy silence. the air…[Read more]

  • invinculis commented on the post, major 7 years ago

    too many skeletons.
    they wear my dresses as i sleep.

  • invinculis commented on the post, use 7 years ago

    you were the type to sleep always facing the wall. i held my hands to my mouth, breathing in measurements. i sought stillness over the rushing in my ears.

    (once upon a time there was a girl who worried about saying “good night” with too little feeling.
    then she realized she was the only one who cared.)

  • invinculis commented on the post, guard 7 years ago

    i say i don’t feel beautiful anymore.
    i’ve forgotten how, the more i grow
    out of this skin.
    (i shed it at night
    when no one’s looking.)

    i draw your face in
    circles
    circles
    bright eyes;
    people think i am in love with you.

    i say i don’t feel beautiful anymore
    and i know you
    and i know your kindliness
    and i know you will say:
    l…[Read more]

  • invinculis commented on the post, flex 7 years, 2 months ago

    what i wanted from your lips
    was perhaps not love
    but absolution.

    (i would let it pool
    in the lines of my palm)

    (i would forget to look
    you in the eyes)

    truth swelled unbearable
    from the knife […]

  • invinculis commented on the post, half 7 years, 2 months ago

    it started like this.
    i wrote you letters every sunday until i
    began to forget how to talk to you.
    i didn’t read them over.
    i burned them in the palms of my hands,
    ashes blackening.

    no, that’s not […]

  • invinculis commented on the post, want 7 years, 3 months ago

    you are only ever good at
    giving yourself headaches.

    eyes red from crying
    swell. swollen like mosquito bites
    you itch and itch until blood
    cakes in your nail beds. don’t

    be frightened when your […]