• terradi commented on the post, several 9 months, 3 weeks ago

    It started with just one cat. Couldn’t resist and I was lonely at home … plus it was just me so why not get a bit of company? And then I had work and they seemed so lonely so of course I had to get them a buddy. Then … and then there was this stray that just looked so lonely … and then my neighbor’s cousin was moving and had to leave their…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, mustard 11 months ago

    The sound, unmistakable and all wet-squelchy feeling fills me with dismay. Usually I know better, usually I don’t head out for lunch, and certainly usually I know better than to get something with condiments on it where a splash or a careless spray is a possibility. Not on a work day.
    I take a breath and look down, assessing the damage.…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, artificial 11 months, 1 week ago

    The smile I wear is etched on my face. Fine and taut and delicate. I wear it and I hold my breath, hoping that it doesn’t shatter. Because if this smile comes down, if this facade that I have constructed that tells everyone I am fine comes down, I don’t know what happens next or how I proceed.
    There isn’t room, not in your world for who I am…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, occasional 1 year, 1 month ago

    It’s more of a sometimes thing than anything else. It’s not like I need it. No, really, I’m okay without it. Or at least I’m pretty sure that I’m okay. Not needed. Not addicted. Not necessary. Just fun. Yeah … just fun. I’m okay. I’mokayI’mokayI’mokay. Pleaseletmebeokay. I’m NOT okay. I’m not okay. I want to stop but I don’t know how to.

  • terradi commented on the post, crowded 1 year, 9 months ago

    Can’t. Breathe. The crush of people around me closes in. Can’t breathe. Can’t think. Too many bodies. Too much pressure. Too many casual breaths and glances. Too many people looking away and pretending that we’re not in touching distance. That we’re not casually touching.
    I need out I need out I need out I need out.
    Dear gods. Why do people…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, attitude 2 years, 1 month ago

    Belief, I tell myself, is the thing that matters most. Not what I came here with, not what everyone keeps telling me my future is destined to be — but belief in my ability to do this, to be this, and to become this thing I have decided I want to become.
    I can do this, I tell myself.
    This is within my grasp.
    I take a deep breath and sit down,…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, bucket 2 years, 2 months ago

    So many things to put in, so little space. Buckets feel like a metaphor for life sometimes. I am surrounded by endless possibilities, endless things that I could make happen, but I only have so much space and then I am out.
    I think I need a bigger bucket, but they appear to be in short supply.

  • terradi commented on the post, cages 2 years, 11 months ago

    The bars are not real. I know that, though I feel them brush against my skin as I strive to move forward once more. The bars are only in my mind. He was kind enough to explain that to me as he departed, leaving me to my fate. And yet knowing they are not there is different than actually breaking through them. Feeling the slap of hard metal against…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, executives 2 years, 11 months ago

    I listen because that is the safest way. Not to get ahead as we once believed it might be. But simply to survive. Listening, following orders. Not questioning or thinking too much. All of these are things the Executives favor. All of these are things which help to increase our chances of survival.
    Of course, nothing is complete or absolute. There…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, tradition 3 years ago

    This is the way it has always been. The way it always will be.

    These are the words used to brick people in; to chain them to things they don’t like. To justify the unjustifiable when logic cannot be used. These are the words used to ignore sense and rationality for the sake of emotion, primal and unreasoning.

    These are the words that hem me in.

  • terradi commented on the post, resolve 3 years ago

    A new year. A new chance. This time I’ll do better. This time I’ll keep those promises. This time I’ll do it — no more drinking, no more smoking. I’l be okay. I can do without them. I’ve done it before, granted never for very long before that urge sets in — no. I can do this. I have to do this. I worry that I’m running out of time and that this…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, simmer 3 years ago

    The heightened passion, so evident in the halls between classes, it settles down here. Furtive glances, passed notes. Occasionally the daring held hands. But they dare little more under teacher scrutiny. For fear of mocking. For fear that their romance, as fragile as it is, might be subjected to peer judging and humiliation. For fear that maybe…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, dash 3 years ago

    Every nerve screaming with fire. Pain. urgency as my lungs are about to burst. My legs quaver and wobble but I musn’t stop. If I stop, if i look back, pause, or hesitate for only a moment, they’ll be upon me. And what happens after that puts more speed to my flight. Freedom is elusive, but as long as I am running, I may still have a chance. As…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, almost 3 years ago

    Flashing lights, cheers, and trophies. The resounding sense of victory and the cries of teammates as they celebrate the impossible. They’ve won. They’ve really done it.

    I watch it all from afar. Knowing that if that one kick had gone the other way, it would have been me there, the center of attention, the crown star of a celebration. But not…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, moving 3 years ago

    Lurching, the train straggles on, rocking its occupants gently back and forth as it continues to cross between city to city. The young child sitting next to her mother begins to nod then falls asleep to the lullaby of the train’s motion and sound.

  • terradi commented on the post, centered 3 years, 1 month ago

    I am one.
    Except maybe when sometimes I’m not. I mean, everyone has off days here and there right? And to have one bad day doesn’t mean that they’re all bad days. And what does I am one mean anyway? Who made up this whole meditation thing.
    Starting again.
    I am one.
    Really now … is that something that was added when they…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, persistent 3 years, 1 month ago

    “If stubbornness could kill ya, you’d be dead.”
    The words floated up to Mari as she continued her ascent up the rock wall. The angle was steep, one of those outward curves that required you to defy gravity if you wanted to hold on. She’d already tried and failed on it four times, and was warming up for a fifth. She grinned, wedged her foot in a…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, compass 3 years, 1 month ago

    The tiny dial looks far too dainty to navigate the world, I think to myself as I hold it aloft, watching it hover and flit gently back and forth as I twisted it towards North. There. In the distance, towards the tallest of the icy peaks on the path ahead.
    Thought so.
    With a sigh, I reshoulder my packs, and begin the long trudge down from the…[Read more]

  • terradi commented on the post, atlas 3 years, 1 month ago

    I skim my fingers along the spine of the book, a listing of places and locations, destinations and travels all far too numerous to visit within my short lifetime. So many possibilities … so many limitations. To go everywhere, or to go only a few places and to know them well? The doors beckon within the pages of this fragile book as I try and decide.

  • terradi commented on the post, domestic 3 years, 8 months ago

    Ahh. Domestic house panther, that’s the life for me. Free food, all the water I can drink, and someone to scoop my litterbox regularly, feed me treats, and get that itchy spot juuuust behind the ear. All of these things I like. I even tolerate when they don’t quite get the itchy spot or when they get it just enough that it gets even more itchy.…[Read more]