• Dan in Ohio commented on the post, delve 6 years ago

    When you delve, you dive. Dive sounds a little bit like delve, however the two can have very different meanings. When one dives, they can dive into water, they can dive into a project, they can dive into an abyss. When one delves, I think it is more plodding, more purposeful. You dive when you want to crash into it, and you delve when you want to…[Read more]

  • Dan in Ohio commented on the post, step 7 years, 10 months ago

    I hate Autotune. It creates steps in the audio. It makes everything sound jaggy, artificial, fake, trashy. It’s like taking a brand new BMW and putting twenty trashy bumper stickers all over the back of it.

  • Dan in Ohio commented on the post, band 7 years, 10 months ago

    Traveling with the band always sucked. You were stuck in an old, rusty van, bouncing along some interstate in the middle of the night, going to the next town. Crammed in between a drum kit and the drummer, with barely enough room to wiggle. Not that you could get any sleep due to the aforementioned […]

  • He was so thin you could see his soul. You could see which three ribs he broke as a child. You could see his pulse. This from ten paces. On a really bright day, at the right angle, you could see his organs and what he had for breakfast.

  • Dan in Ohio commented on the post, violet 7 years, 11 months ago

    When you have a toddler, you see a lot of violet. It’s usually next to some yellow which is next to some flesh tone, and usually on their legs, because they fall down about every ten seconds and yell “Daddy, I hurt myself again!” or, maybe it’s just that my daughter is the world’s biggest […]

  • Dan in Ohio commented on the post, violent 7 years, 11 months ago

    The crash threw me in every direction as the car rolled. I guess the signs that said to wear a seatbelt were right. It turns out that physics is not simply a boring high school class, or a thing nerdy, dull, virginal men do for a living, it is also a terrible force that makes […]

  • ALL I CAN SAY IS JESUS WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT I MEAN AM I WEARING UNDERWEAR ON MY HEAD OR SOMETHING OH COME ON HAVEN’T YOU EVER HEARD OF SOMEONE WITH VOICE IMMODULATION THERE WAS EVEN A WILL FERRELL BIT ON SNL ABOUT IT I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE AWARE OF […]

  • Dan in Ohio commented on the post, trophy 7 years, 11 months ago

    He didn’t think of her like that, but everybody knew what she was. He might as well have put her on the mantle over the fireplace. He could well have changed her diapers while he was in college.

  • Dan in Ohio commented on the post, sticks 7 years, 11 months ago

    What sticks to me is stickers, the kind my kids peel off their sticker books at least twice a day and leave everywhere. My house is like a giant sticker book exploded up in here, and almost always, stickers on my feet. Stickers on my socks. Sometimes they put stickers on me and I don’t […]

  • A cigarette is something that you smoke in high school and you think you’re so fucking cool, and then you grow up and find out that chicks don’t like to make out with guys that stink like smoke, so you stop, and after you stop you find out that whenever you smell smoke you think, […]

  • Dan in Ohio commented on the post, bow 7 years, 11 months ago

    I bow to nobody. Well, except my sensei. My father. My mother. My boss at work. The statue of Buddha I pass in the park at lunchtime. The guy who makes my sushi. The girl who seats me at the restaurant. My reflection in the mirror.

  • Dan in Ohio commented on the post, plague 7 years, 11 months ago

    A plague upon your house. That blight upon my street. You, with the grass that hasn’t been mowed in nearly a month. Trim your hedges! Where do you think you are, the outback? This is American Suburbia! You will trim the plants. You will plant brightly colored flowers. Paint that front door. Keep that mailbox […]

  • Dan in Ohio commented on the post, straw 7 years, 11 months ago

    A straw man is a terrible thing. For one thing, he has no brain. For another thing, pundits are always propping him up to try to bolster a stupid argument. How would you like it if your options were to be a brainless fool standing in a field all day, ostensibly frightening away birds, or […]