• Rachel commented on the post, quest 5 years, 6 months ago

    Just when I’m close enough I think I’ve
    reached it
    got there
    obtained the checkpoint that translates into rest
    but then I fall back to start
    back to the beginning of this quest I gun so hard for
    only to watch other people succeed
    when they weren’t even trying

  • Rachel commented on the post, mothering 5 years, 9 months ago

    It was a fine work of mothering, really. She was angry, but the anger dissipated and she was so rational. Trying to cow me into revealing all, little did she know I was vulnerable but still devious. I still kept my secrets, even though she kept my flask.

  • Rachel commented on the post, biblical 5 years, 9 months ago

    You said, when I first met you, that you had been assigned summer reading. “I’m reading the bible.” you said, and I wished you luck.

    Now I wait by my mailbox, I wait for your letter, I hope it is long and says lots, and contains a bracelet of your handiwork. in rainbow colours.

  • Rachel commented on the post, tousled 5 years, 9 months ago

    My first kiss was with a guy with tousled hair. I think that might have even been the reason I kissed him, because I just wanted to run my hands through it. I can’t remember how it felt though, all I remember is the feeling of his lips on mine, and the weakness in my knees.

  • Rachel commented on the post, piano 5 years, 9 months ago

    I remember coming home, and playing piano for the first time in
    five weeks
    I had cried when I had come to sit in my room.
    Then, playing, I felt as if I would never be sad again.

  • Rachel commented on the post, hell 5 years, 10 months ago

    Hell is a place I want you to go. I want you both to go, there.
    and I will smile sweetly as you make your descent, and finally you’ll realize that you missed your queue,

    one time too many.

    Am I spiteful?
    Maybe.
    Unkind?
    Perhaps.
    This passive-agressive stance is the only one I can take in face of your cruelty.

  • Rachel commented on the post, efficient 5 years, 10 months ago

    In my work I meander and in my free time I’m lazy and this life isn’t efficient and all of the time I’ve been gifted is squandered or must of it anyway

  • Rachel commented on the post, measure 5 years, 10 months ago

    I am constantly comparing myself to others. On paper, online, in life.
    And I need to stop, because every day I feel it eat away at me a little more and a little more.
    I don’t want to become nothing.

  • Rachel commented on the post, scuba 5 years, 10 months ago

    My small range of dance moves leads me to this, but it is okay because tonight, everything is ridiculous. So I plug my nose with my fingers and shimmy downward, my free hand waving like seaweed. And you, smiling, join me.

  • Rachel commented on the post, bluegrass 5 years, 10 months ago

    Everything is green in my fantasies, the grass is rich and lush.
    You wrap your arm around my waist, so soft it makes me blush.

  • Rachel commented on the post, cities 6 years, 4 months ago

    I want to live in the larger ones. The ones where you can walk the streets and know that so did others, great others who will never be forgotten in the history of forever. People live in small towns, and I do not see why.
    Perhaps they do not crave to walk in the shadows of greats, but look at all around them and feel the comfort of their own…[Read more]

  • Rachel commented on the post, withered 6 years, 4 months ago

    You will age as I will age and I realize with disdain that
    more than my father and more than my mother and more than my very best friends
    I am afraid to see you die

    for I am on the outskirts of your life
    and cannot face the fact that I will never really know you.
    Will it be strange for me to attend your future funeral?

  • Rachel commented on the post, returned 6 years, 4 months ago

    After three years of closeness, and one break of a year so icy neither of us noticed the lack of warm air until we took a final, rasping sigh, our lungs sucking the dry atmosphere, looking for moisture and here was the hydration, me returning, you letting me, painful months of testing the water, relearning each other, and now a closeness of the…[Read more]

  • Rachel commented on the post, female 6 years, 6 months ago

    Am I too sensitive
    when you tell me
    that I am not as important
    that my problems are insignificant
    that my qualms are petty
    because I was born a different gender than your son

    I am your daughter
    Am I too sensitive
    tell me

  • Rachel commented on the post, stir 6 years, 7 months ago

    In the wake of an endless silence, here is the feeling again.
    The morning, the mist, the moon.
    A silent sun sinks her fingers into the horizon, and for a moment the coating of frost on fingers feels thinner than I had dreamed. Inside my chest, a foreign heartbeat stirs.

  • Rachel commented on the post, methods 6 years, 7 months ago

    If I learned your methods, would I know better, walking through my own life, would my eyes be opened?
    To greatness? To difference? To the incredible dullness of my own experience?
    Oh, I cannot even fathom what it would be like to be you. I cannot imagine your methods, or the reason time will soon make me leave you.

    All too soon.

  • Rachel commented on the post, July 6 years, 7 months ago

    My birth-month. Summer. Peace. Bike rides and running every day, only because I feel like it and want to hear my feet pound the pavement, feel my heart beat out of control. Swimming across the lake because I can. A book a day. Time to myself. Time that ran out all too fast.

  • Rachel commented on the post, roof 6 years, 7 months ago

    Over my head. Now.
    But tomorrow?
    They promise me, unanimously, that the golden days are ending, and soon their will be bills to pay and questions to invent my own answers to.
    But I do not feel golden.
    All I feel is lost.

  • Rachel commented on the post, higher 6 years, 7 months ago

    There’s nowhere to go but up.
    There’s nowhere to reach for but steadily upward.
    And sometimes I fear that despite this reality I still find a way to spiral down and down and down and down.
    There’s nowhere to go but up.

  • Rachel commented on the post, both 6 years, 7 months ago

    There has never been a both for me, and I find that when my best friend speaks of the nights when she walks with the one she loves, long and lonely walks that mean everything and weigh nothing, I cannot sympathize. I don’t know the weightlessness of both.