“Just a sliver,” she said, when asked if she would like cake. “I’m on this very strict diet and I can’t have much at all. No, bigger than that. Oh, certainly bigger than that. Oh, the hell with it – just give […]
I wanted to bolt as soon as I saw his face. I swore I’d never go on a blind date again. I took one look at his horse face and wanted to run. By the time the entree was served, I was ready to marry him on the spot.
The sound of the city. My favorite sound on earth. I’m looking for an apartment, and these brokers keep telling me these places are “quiet,” as though that were a plus. Give me noise! Noise! City noise! I […]
I’m in a boat. Drifting, drifting. My mind wanders. What a perfect day. And then he touches me. What a thrilling feeling! What a perfect day! Imagine – prim little me having sex on a boat, right in the […]
He had a terrible temper. It reared its ugly head in all kinds of ways. He didn’t mean to hit his kids, his wife, his dog. But it was as though, when the anger started, he could literally see nothing but red. […]
Oh, my G-d! Where did you get that exquisite dress? I’ve never seen one like it! What color is that? Is that puce? I’ve never seen puce. And it doesn’t make your hips look that big. But really, it’s […]
She couldn’t believe her daughter wanted to enter a beauty pageant. She had raised her with all the right (feminist) values, but still, she wanted to enter a dog and pony show. Where had she failed her? Was it […]
For the duration of her jail term, she would not be allowed to see her children. That was worse than the prison sentence itself! If only she had listened to Barbara when she told her to stay away from Jimmy. […]
My daughter felt that the school’s rule about no iPods in study hall was very unjust. So she wrote a petition to end that rule. Everyone in the school signed. And the rule was overturned. Yay for democracy in the schools!
It was his strong belief that his good looks would get him through any situation he might encounter. All he’d have to do was flash his brilliant smile, those twinkling eyes… and everyone, even men, were […]
Have I gotten to the point in life where I have to recycle old boyfriends? Aren’t there enough men in NY for me to find new ones? She couldn’t believe she was back with Mark. And the second time around, she was […]
Buy. Use. Recycle. Buy. Use. Recycle. Since she had started her new routine, she was saving a lot of money and had much less garbage to throw out. Whatever she couldn’t use, she’d trade with other recyclers.
She thought of herself as a gourmet cook. She had all the right utensils, cookware, ingredients. Unfortunately (and no one dared tell her this), she lacked any ability whatsoever, rendering her dishes awful, […]
She dismissed his threats as nothing more than the ravings of a lunatic. But later, when her house was stormed by hundreds of flesh-eating zombies, she was not so nonchalant. They were everywhere – biting, […]
She was sitting at brunch, enjoying a solo meal, when all of a sudden, she saw him. Her heart skipped a beat. He was as gorgeous as ever. She started shaking, just like she did back then. And then he noticed […]
I was dreading this brunch like no other I’d ever had in my life. I haven’t seen this girl in 20 years, since we had a falling out in college. I don’t remember her fondly. She calls me out of the blue and wants […]