• i just spent about thirty seconds pondering boiling water. it makes me think of the ramon noodles i made for lunch. man i’m hungry. my mom hasn’t grocery shopped in like 3 weeks. we’re out of toilet paper…

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, ill 7 years, 10 months ago

    If you write ill with the “i” capitalized, it looks like three “l”s. see: Ill. Just three little lines. Very interesting.

  • My English teacher uses a megaphone in class. It’s so that those of us who want to actually listen so we can pass the test he’s talking about can hear over the idiots in the back. And because megaphones are awesome. True story.

  • I’m expecting a turtle. Not just any turtle. The Magic Turtle. You know, the one with the VW bus on his back. He should be here any minute. It’s best your not here when he arrives. He doesn’t like you.

  • Jack Sparrow was marooned. He had dreads. Like Bob Marley. I love Marley. He’s an inspiration and a great activist. My brother wanted to name his son Marley. It’s a girls name. And a dogs.

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, cast 7 years, 10 months ago

    The cast of the musical in my school is like the cool kids. We’re amazing. Even though we spend every waking moment in the school auditorium for 4 months strait every year. Now that I think of it, it kind of sucks. Why do we do it?

  • My beloved cat is currently eating out of my garbage. I don’t know why. He just does that sometimes. He thinks he’s a dog. He follows you around, and comes when you call him. And he’ll eat ANYTHING. He tried eating my computer once.

  • i was once captured by Russian spies dressed as giant trolls, you know the ones with the weird hair, and tortured with the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard until i told them the birth date of my great uncle. it was a strange experience.

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, mint 7 years, 12 months ago

    I like mints. I had a mint once that was so strong, I nearly choked. The man next to me on the bus started doing the himlach maneuver and nearly broke my ribs. So then I punched him in the gut.

  • I once wondered what it would be like in my Wonderland. It would be magnificent if it could be like Alice’s, but I’m not that imaginative. I want to slay the jabberwolky…

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, bee 8 years, 2 months ago

    My aunt got stung by a bee once. She swelled up like the fat lady in Harry Potter. Only my uncle wouldn’t let her float away. Unfortunately, he was a bit stronger than Vernon Dursley.

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, mango 8 years, 3 months ago

    mmmmmmmmmmm mangos. i like fruit. it’s juicy, so it’s like a snack and a drink in one, the perfect combination. although i don’t think i’ve ever actually had a mango… have you? how do they taste? I bet they taste good. they sound good.

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, outlet 8 years, 3 months ago

    Don’t stick your finger in the outlet. And that includes using other objects as a finger. I did it once. The doctor said my eyebrows would grow back, but it’s been 3 years now… I really want my eyebrows back…

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, sage 8 years, 3 months ago

    A sage wanders the wilderness. He is lost. No. Not lost. Just looking for something that is not yet found. Something pure…

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, tangle 8 years, 3 months ago

    The vines of the jungle were a tangled mess. The poor monkeys and iguanas all got stuck in them. So then, one day, a vine whisperer came along. He whispered to the vines and got them to move. So then the the monkeys and iguanas didn’t get stuck anymore and they were very happy.

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, wool 8 years, 3 months ago

    I have a very large wool sweater. One day it started talking. Turns out they never detached the wool from the sheep. And the sheep had super powers, so during the course of being part of my magnificent wardrobe, it learned English. Very strange…

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, charge 8 years, 3 months ago

    CHARGE! screamed the captain. There was a rush of movement around me as the army ran towards enemy lines. I wondered why I was there. I had never even heard of either of these countries, and yet here I stood in the middle of a battle…

  • I met a man who wore a strong fragrance once. He was odd. Although, so was everyone else in that bar. And they were all men… it was strange. I think some of them were confused, because they were wearing their sisters clothes or something….

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, alarm 8 years, 3 months ago

    my alarm doesn’t always like to work. and then yesterday it just got up and left. i mean, what the heck? it’s not like i abuse it or anything! okay… maybe i do hit it every once in a while, but, i mean, if you don’t want to get hit, don’t wake me up at […]

  • rollinggnomes commented on the post, pills 8 years, 3 months ago

    pills can be fun. and they can be bad. but mostly fun. my friend had this pill once. it made her go all insane. she ran around the neighborhood in her underwear and flip flops in the middle of winter. and then she puked green slime. it was a good night.