The urge to run automatically kicked her heart into racing gear. Bailey shifted her sights to the skyline. Looking above the building and into the orange of the rising sun. It had been so long since she had felt warmth. Down the hatch she went. Hair whipping around in the harsh winds. Sand stinging her skin as it raced through the city streets,…[Read more]
My mind clamps done on the hopes for later down the road. I dream of a house and a husband and a child. I dream of all these things. I hold down tight, but I’m loosing my grip. I can’t find the next stepping stone to the solid rock at the end. The house on the hill seems so far away. I’m not sure where to turn or step or go.
Sometimes I’m miserable.
Seeing you miserable made me hurt. Like a spear to the heart. I cried-for a moment. And then I was okay.
I miss your friendship. I miss your hugs. I miss your smell. I miss your sideways laugh. I miss your sarcastic laugh…and then the squeaky laugh that follows if I get you laughing hard enough.
But I don’t miss…[Read more]
Im no longer miserable.
I smile, I laugh, I go out at night.
I have friends over, sing the wrong words to the songs on the radio without judgement.
Never before have I felt so free and so cared for all at the same time.
You made me miserable.
Now, Im alive.
Stuck in this bubble. I look through the watery glass around me. I can hear laughter, I can see memories being made. I can participate in conversation, make logical decisions, even joke and laugh and dance and sing and live. Or what others think it living. I’m so tired. I walk around purposeless. Making money, spending money. Meeting people,…[Read more]
It glows defiantly in the distance. Dancing and shimmering. I stood in awe. Heard nothing, saw nothing else. Every sound, emotion, worry, memory-all of it gone as I became more and more entranced. All I knew was it was cold. That beautiful orb shone in the distance-and I was too far away to capture its glow.
I lost you.
Not just lost you,
I twisted you up into a tiny little ball and threw you as far into the sea as I could.
I hated the way you restrained me,
How you enraged me, took advantage and deranged me.
Drove me so crazy that I thought right was always wrong and I could never be right.
Could never do enough.
Drenched to my soul.
You pour your words over me like sweet honey.
Your hands trace rivulets down my thighs.
Never before have I felt so refreshed.
Every time I see you I blossom.
From dying desert flower to dancing dandelion
Making wishes in the wind.
Ringing that’s all I could hear the night my world fell apart. A high-pitched, monotone whine drowning out the cacophony that preceded the fall. The dog barking protectively at my side, the roar of the crowd at Superbowl blaring though the surround sound speakers; it was all gone. Had I hit my head? My eyes stung and the world seemed to move in…[Read more]
You lured me in slowly.
Your stormy surface beguiling
your strong arms tightening
your laugh dark and quick
Your words like a whip
stirring beneath the surface of the storm
was a riptide
ripping away my breath
tying my hands
and laughing at my lack of breath
shooting arrows just for fun
When the night was over
Your witchcraft had won.
Im gonna break his heart.
I hugged you, smiled at you, held your hand and kissed your cheek. Slept next to you. Took you to all your favorite places, filled your house with little touches of me. How you turned the chair, where you hung art you hated butI insisted you needed on the walls, showing you how to make sense of a grown up pantry.…[Read more]
She stood on the sidewalk unable to believe what just happened. The numbness of shock flowed over her body like a wave. She barely noticed when the rain started, or that people were rushing past to seek shelter – their fight or flight response evidently in tact. They still cared – whether their clothes or their bodies were wet, where they were…[Read more]
the plane rumbled as it sprang into life, charging down the runway lifting its massive bulk into the air. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and looked out the window and the blanket of foliage below. A green sea carved only by thin, undulating, tangles of red African roads below that continued, she knew, to the see. She barely noticed the…[Read more]
Pink and fat it sat there in the cold terrarium of the deli counter at giant. Smoked, Norwegian salmon. Her thoughts wandered to thoughts of icy Fjords, mountains, fur lined coats and viking ships. A wilderness and civilization born out of cold and struggle and a culture foreign and ancient. A smile played on her lips. “I’ll take 2 lbs. please”,…[Read more]
Hes a loner.
Nothing is as important as his own way of living.
Not a person.
Not a thing.
Not an idea.
None is worth the sacrifice of his black and white, predictable world.
I befriended the wolf.
And became the prey.
I dove deeply into the bottle.
Drinking deeply from its dark red depths. Inhaling it scent and drunkenly lifting it to my lips again and again.
The circular reasoning of it all would kill me…but the escape was too potent.
In the moment I could care less about tomorrow.…[Read more]