• Her fingers were drenched, she coughed, slipping one into my mouth. I sucked for a moment, but the taste was off. I pulled away.

    “Hey,” she mumbled over her scotch.

    “Sorry, you’ve been smoking way too much.”

    I got up to find my pants.

  • Paisley Brew commented on the post, recipes 8 years, 5 months ago

    “Smells good.”
    “Thanks. Worked all night on it.”
    “All night?”
    “Yeah, since I got home about… 6.”
    “You got home at 6?”
    “6pm. Like, today.”
    “Yeah, why? What’s the-”
    “I was here at six, you fucking liar.”

  • Paisley Brew commented on the post, altar 8 years, 6 months ago

    “I could smash his face in,” the priest offered.

    “No. Not that. Keep his face intact. They have to identify the body before we can collect the reward.”

    “Well, fuck all. I really wanted to smash his face in.”

  • “This will fuck you up.” Damian marched around the room, barely able to contain himself. He waved my manuscript about like a field hockey stick. “Seriously, is this how you think?” I nursed my scotch. Of course it was. But I couldn’t tell him that. “You gotta get your mind out of the gutter, man. […]

  • Paisley Brew commented on the post, science 8 years, 7 months ago

    There is no you. There is no me. This doesn’t exist. These words were never here. It’s all a figment of your imagination. Electrical impulses flying through matter. What you perceive will only be a short burst of experience in comparison to the existence of the rest of time and space.

  • That kid is like a fucking camel. Just drinks and drinks and drinks for hours on end. And throughout the week? Not another sip. Not a single sip any other time than that one day, just storing it all, riding it out through the rest of the week. Right up until it’s time to drink […]

  • Paisley Brew commented on the post, reader 8 years, 8 months ago

    I smacked him upside the head. He dropped his magazine and I put my foot on it. He reached down to grab it, but I wasn’t giving up his copy of Highlights that easily. “You know the trouble with you, Travis?” Took a drag off my cigarette that I blew right into his five-year-old eyes. […]

  • Paisley Brew commented on the post, stage 8 years, 8 months ago

    “It’s simple. You make the incision…”
    His fingers trailed down her stomach, over her thigh, and right to the point where her legs joined.
    And in went the blade.

  • Paisley Brew commented on the post, mud 9 years ago

    I’m stuck. Completely fucking stuck. Stupid bitch… why did I fall for her again? Oh, yeah, the nice tits and sweet looking face. Well fuck her. Fuck her little viral like laugh every time I showed her one of my pieces.

  • Paisley Brew commented on the post, train 9 years, 1 month ago

    I slapped my hand across the seat of my trousers and looked out the window. Electric light poles rushed past. I had to scan my eyes quickly just to get a glance at a herd of cattle whipping by.

  • Paisley Brew commented on the post, collar 9 years, 1 month ago

    I checked my tie in the mirror. It looked crooked but I couldn’t tell. The more I adjusted the damn thing, the more crooked it looked and the more I wanted to adjust it. This was bordering on obsessive, so I figured fuck it, if she doesn’t like the look of my crooked tie, the […]

  • Paisley Brew commented on the post, sandwich 9 years, 1 month ago

    “You taste delicious. Like a slice of ham slathered in baby oil. I just wanna scrunch you up and make an olive into your new favorite hat.”

  • Paisley Brew commented on the post, balloon 9 years, 1 month ago

    There are bright things that happen when the sky looks upside down at us. Clouds seem to dissipate at will. Corndogs taste better. Fruit fornicate for our enjoyment. Children explode.