• I’ve been searching everywhere for the most elusive of all things: where to start. It’s funny, isn’t it? How much we can rely on that single piece of information to get anywhere. At least, I do. I wish I could be more “go with the flow,” you know? But it’s just not in my nature. I need a plan, a pathway. I need to know I’m going the right…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, conflict 1 year, 8 months ago

    There’s always a reason to go to war. One of them insulted our pride or one of them threatened our neighbor or one of them is charging to much for exports or whatever. We’ll never run out of ways to justify conflict. So why don’t we start looking at reasons to justify peace instead? We certainly can’t do any worse.

  • Brian W commented on the post, reaching 1 year, 9 months ago

    “I’ll get there someday”, I told myself. The setting sun on the horizon stretched out before me, bathing the treeline below my mountain-side vantage in a blanket of gold. I walked forward and opened the wide glass doors from the bedroom to the picturesque balcony outside and stepped out for a moment to take in the whole scene. Instinctively I…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, juvenile 2 years, 1 month ago

    It’s hard being a grownup. Every day I wake up and have to remind myself that I’m in my own bed, in my own house, and have to get ready to go to my own real adult job. It’s weird. Will I ever stop feeling like a juvenile and start feeling like an adult? I don’t think I’m likely to get the answer to that anytime soon; maybe not ever. Maybe…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, tempting 2 years, 1 month ago

    The cake was staring at me. It probably thought I was staring at it too, but I could tell it liked the attention. Strutting its sexy chocolate ribbons and sultry white frosting flowers. What a slutty little thing. “No,” I tell myself, “I can do better.” I know that for a fact; I’m stronger enough to resist the pull of this enticing treat. I…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, nutrients 2 years, 5 months ago

    He sat at his desk, wondering when lunch was. This stupid day couldn’t get worse, could it? First he got a flat tire on the way in, then the boss yelled at him for causing a backup in the workload from last week, and then when he opened his corporate email he was bombarded with a deluge of urgent emails waiting for his response. But at least he…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, butterflies 2 years, 5 months ago

    I still get nervous when I see her smile. It’s incredible; like you’d never believe. Her whole face lights up. Her cheeks warm with soft pink, her nose crinkles, and those incredible magical dimples expose themselves. She’s never been able to fake a smile, either. You know what you’re getting with her. When she smiles, you always know it’s…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, breakthrough 2 years, 6 months ago

    It was a great day. Jonny came home and was smiling for the first time in months. The appointment had gone well. This new doctor is a miracle worker, I could tell already. I rubbed Jonny’s hair lovingly and asked what caused such a breakthrough and made him smile again. He replied, “Dr. Franklin told me it’s not always all my fault. He said…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, birds 2 years, 6 months ago

    There are a lot of birds in the world. Some blue, some black, some red, and some white. Small ones, big ones, tall ones, round ones. The world is full of so many birds. That’s what it’s like – the world. Full of so much more than we can even imagine. So many look to the stars (and there is so much out there as well), but forget to turn their…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, shoes 2 years, 6 months ago

    My feet are aching. I lost my shoes days ago; trapped in the sticky slush of the swamp. But I couldn’t stop to retrieve them then, and I can’t stop to worry about it now. Have to keep moving. I know he’s still out there somewhere, with his white painted face and the blood-red nose locked onto my scent. The clown is still coming for me. I…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, knives 2 years, 6 months ago

    I hate the way he looks at me. Those dark hateful eyes – like daggers staring into my soul. I still feel guilty over hurting him. I remember that night; staring into the sky together, our backs against the woven blanket and the stars painted above us. It was beautiful. Beautiful, until I asked him if he had farted.

  • Brian W commented on the post, yoga 2 years, 6 months ago

    I hate my body. One day I’ll improve it. At least that’s what I tell myself. It’s hard work though, isn’t it? But maybe it’s the sort of work that is worth it; a way to transform yourself from something you’re unhappy with to a more satisfying version. I’ve meditated before and found it helpful. I didn’t understand what meditation was for a…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, beverage 2 years, 6 months ago

    I need to drink less soda. I open my fridge and there it was, the last can of coke. A forced start to my resolution. An escape from the marriage to sugar. The cold red can stares back at me like I stare at it; a sweet locked gaze of love and regret. I reach for the can, but stop just short of grabbing it. Not yet. I’ll say goodbye another time.

  • Brian W commented on the post, shock 2 years, 6 months ago

    Have you ever seen something you can’t unsee? I did once. I walked in on my parents. It was a nightmare. How am I supposed to get my eyes clean again? It was like two polar bears wrestling over the corpse of a freshly killed seal. It was like a Jackson Pollock painting done on a piece of cardboard pulled out of a trash dump. It was like……[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, lens 2 years, 7 months ago

    I wish my eyesight wasn’t going. It’s not fair; I used to be able to rely on so much about my body. Now it’s old, and creaky, and unreliable. It’s not fair. I wake up to the sounds of cracking. I groan when I stand. My bladder holds only fractions of what it could. But I’m smarter. I’m sharper. I know myself better than ever before. I…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, recording 2 years, 7 months ago

    I always wanted to be famous. And I’ve always hated that about myself. It’s a vain obsession and one that is much too common in people my age. So I try to resist it, try to keep in my more realistic endeavors for myself. And yet, here I am, recording yet another mock YouTube video. Certain that fame will come with the brilliance that must be…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, driveway 2 years, 7 months ago

    I never learned to park the right way. It was always a foreign idea. My driveway was strange; you could only park in reverse. It didn’t make sense, but that was the reality. So I am a master at parking in reverse, but I’m fucked trying to park like a normal person. I just can’t figure out where the wheels go or how to judge distance or…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, district 2 years, 7 months ago

    Living in DC is not always fun. Everyone is so obsessed with politics; you can’t escape it in any avenue. Go out to dinner, hear political talk. On the roads, see political stickers. Meet somebody new, first thing they’ll ask is where you work (which in DC is a very political topic). I can’t wait to get out of here. Oh, also my team is right…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, butterfly 2 years, 7 months ago

    I never wanted to be like this, and I’m not sure where it went wrong. I remember wanted to be a fireman or an astronaut as a kid. To do something meaningful. Meanwhile, I’m sitting where with this stack of accounting forms, falling asleep as the numbers all blur into one. What happened? Is it too late for me? I pause. I stand up, look at…[Read more]

  • Brian W commented on the post, essence 2 years, 7 months ago

    I couldn’t stop thinking about her. There was just something new and exciting about her. Something I hadn’t seen before. She was beautiful, sure… but that wasn’t it. She was funny and flirtly… but it was something different.
    I couldn’t put it into words, but all I knew was that she made me feel different; like there was a whole world to…[Read more]