• Fallon commented on the post, classical 10 months, 1 week ago

    I can’t believe Jeff did that! He is so brassy and brazen. It’s no wonder al the girls like him so much. There’s nothing that rock-sacked monkey won’t do. Classical Jeff, man. I sure miss him.

  • Fallon commented on the post, musical 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    Beans, beans. They make a sphincter sing. Beans, beans, you know what I mean. They’re magical, they’re mystical. They’re musical. Get yours today! Operators are standing by.

  • Fallon commented on the post, harm 11 months ago

    “What harm could come of it?”, asked Landon. “Well, how could we even know, really? When an opportunity comes for discovery, you simply have to take calculated risks. And when you’re on the brink of discovery in a new frontier in a place no one has ever been, you can’t calculate risk. Sometimes you have to take that leap of faith in the name of…[Read more]

  • Fallon commented on the post, steer 11 months, 4 weeks ago

    “Steer the steer toward the gate!”, Jim bellowed. It looked like it was about to break through the fence and go AWOL. We really need this steer to go to market today. It’s been a rough couple of years and we are going to have a tough time staying afloat if we can’t keep things flowing properly and timely.

  • Fallon commented on the post, sequel 1 year, 2 months ago

    The only way I get a sequel is if I’m reincarnated. Wait, maybe I’m in my sequel, now. Or maybe I’ve got more sequels than Freddy, Jason, and Sharknado put together. I might really be doing all right. But how’s a fella ta know?

  • Fallon commented on the post, rumble 1 year, 3 months ago

    “Let’s get ready to ruumbbbbblllee,” I heard from a distance. The rumbling of what seemed to be thousands of boots against hard, dusty clay, accompanied by that all-too-familiar war cry, made me wonder what in the world could be coming my way.

  • Fallon commented on the post, hairline 1 year, 3 months ago

    Everything’s in recession right now, especially my hairline. It’s as if it’s afraid of my eyes and/or nose. Or maybe there’s some unwritten facial hair law that says crazy scientist eyebrows and hairlines need to be separated by as far a gap as possible. And my brows aren’t going anywhere…

  • Fallon commented on the post, mercy 2 years, 5 months ago

    Have mercy! Elvis has left the building. I always wonder which exit he goes out. It must be a super secret exit. By the very nature of needing an announcement for us to know that he’s no longer in the building with us, there must have been a great place for him to have snuck away, unobserved.

  • Fallon commented on the post, outlet 8 years, 9 months ago

    Sticking my finger in an electrical outlet may very well give my nearly brain-dead brain the very boost it needs to be able to give vent to my now-withered and sorely-missed creative outlet. A sort of recharge, if you will. Or, even if you won’t.

  • Fallon commented on the post, flannel 9 years, 1 month ago

    Flanel #5. It’s my favorite, fashionable new parfum. It’s the latest scent from New York’s premiere eau de toilette magnate, Pierre du Cardin de Va Grinchy. It will be hitting retail shelves soon.

  • Fallon commented on the post, help 9 years, 1 month ago

    I can’t do this anymore. My pride has seen me fall too many times. The shadows grow long like my beard. Time has come and time has passed. If I can’t figure out how to help myself I will turn to you.

  • Fallon commented on the post, pouch 9 years, 2 months ago

    Kangaroos! Dipping chewing tobacco! Carrying a fannypack! With a wineskin and coinpurse!

  • Fallon commented on the post, trees 9 years, 2 months ago

    Trees. And more trees. I love them. They’re not too cuddly. They’re like an iguana for a pet. They’re cool and all, but you can’t snuggle up close and fluff one’s hair. Worst. Post. Ever. Hey, they can’t all be winners, right?

  • Fallon commented on the post, cheek 9 years, 2 months ago

    Your cheek against my hand, as you almost cry in both joy and sorrow – it may have been the single most moving moment of my life. I love you so very much and can’t wait to continue spending every waking moment of the rest of my life with you.

  • Fallon commented on the post, indistinct 9 years, 2 months ago

    An indistinct silhouette was playing on the wall from the few candles placed around the small and mostly empty room. It was quiet. Very quiet. Sam knew right then something he hadn’t known before. It was going to be a long night. He had better get started.

  • Fallon commented on the post, moon 9 years, 2 months ago

    Never moon a werewolf. I found this out the hard way. My shiny, white ass will never be the same. I had to go to the hospital to have fur and teeth removed from the resultant melee. Again, never moon a werewolf.

  • Fallon commented on the post, overjoyed 9 years, 2 months ago

    I’m overjoyed at being free now. I’ve been far too long metaphorically chained to a toilet in a never-lit basement right next to an over-sized litter box for a never-fully-seen mutant thing that’s lived there since who knows when.

  • Fallon commented on the post, mist 9 years, 2 months ago

    That one missed me, too, but they’re getting closer every second. We’ve gotta get outta here! Where the hell is all that coming from anyway? Dammit, Marty I’m never listening to you again!

  • Fallon commented on the post, rustling 9 years, 2 months ago

    As Marvin feverishly looked for his passport, papers were rustling so loudly that Greta could hear them from all the way in the living room. “Why does he put things off until the very last second that way?” she asked herself not quite under her breath.

  • Fallon commented on the post, blast 9 years, 3 months ago

    Blast! I can never get these damned things to work right, Reg. We’d have two dozen of them a day if I could just get them hot-wired more efficiently. What happened to standards, you know? Cars manufacturers need to adhere to ISO standards like computer manufactureres do. You know what I mean?