• MO commented on the post, stretcher 7 years, 3 months ago

    “this is a real stretcher” she said, pointing to the EMC’s using it to bring her grandmother to the ambulance. They didn’t know that Lucy had a problem with lucid dreaming and didn’t know what was real or not.

  • MO commented on the post, suppose 8 years ago

    I suppose something of a nap would have been useful instead of taking two 30 mg of Ritalin in an attempt to stay alert during my Philosophy class. My professor was reminiscent of Ben Stein. In other words, I had Ferris Bueller’s Economics teacher. I suppose he switched classes.

  • MO commented on the post, evidence 8 years ago

    As evidenced by her coy smile and mussed hair, I could see that she’d been with my man. That and her knees were pink. There are only so many reasons why her knees would be pink and Garret’s floors weren’t spotlessly scrubbed.

  • MO commented on the post, port 8 years ago

    Port’s good, rum’s better. And on those really chilly nights, I like scotch with my fire. Alcoholic beverages make some of the best lighter fluid I’ve ever used in my pyromania.

  • MO commented on the post, shootout 8 years, 1 month ago

    Everything was played in my mind like an old-fashined 20’s shootout. Two captains, shooting each other over turf. Except there were no guns and no one was wearing a zoot suit. Just two jealous girls fighting over a tall blonde.

  • MO commented on the post, account 8 years, 1 month ago

    Taking into account all that has happened, a margarita at the end of the day isn’t such a bad thing. Accounting for the margaritas is completely different. It would take a sober accountant to add up the numbers.

  • MO commented on the post, rally 8 years, 1 month ago

    Rally me together
    Sally forth, my good man
    Stiff upper lip, chin up, feet forward
    Armies crumble for you

  • MO commented on the post, trade 8 years, 1 month ago

    I traded away my childhood, one pokemon card at a time, in exchange for a boyfriend, my own apartment, and the experience of growing up. Then I wrote a play about it and I traded my personal experience and soulful work for public opinion and money. Then I traded obscurity for fame and fortune. And […]

  • MO commented on the post, hover 8 years, 1 month ago

    My ballet mom hovered over me like some sort of vulture. Waiting for me to mess up so she could correct me, waiting for me to be perfect so she could praise me. She did everything for me, including living.

  • MO commented on the post, distinguished 8 years, 1 month ago

    Distinguished men wear cravats, top hats, and leather belts, watch fobs and trophy wives. Playwrights blacklisted by the Pope don’t give a damn.

  • MO commented on the post, clipped 8 years, 1 month ago

    Something clipped me in the back of my ear. It was one of two things: my body piercing artist or God telling me not to get my cartilage pierced. Can a hoop really ruin a reputation?

  • MO commented on the post, insect 8 years, 1 month ago

    I laugh every time I walk through the insect hall at the museum of natural history. I feel like I’ve conquered a world, even though I had nothing to do with the capturing of said creepy crawlies.

  • MO commented on the post, division 8 years, 1 month ago

    There once was a time in my life when I didn’t have friends. Around this time was a really short period in my life where I actually thought math was fun. Specifically long division by hand. So, instead of playing with friends, like any normal person would, I made up long division problems and then […]

  • MO commented on the post, mist 8 years, 1 month ago

    Do villains ever get tired of emerging dramatically from the mist? I know I never do. It’s good for my skin and it gets me pumped to beat up the good guys. Ugh, with their tight underwear OVER the pants, I mean who does that…..

  • MO commented on the post, force 8 years, 1 month ago

    When I was a child, I always wanted to be a Jedi. Cuz they could move stuff, and they had light sabers, and they made whooshing sounds. Then I got the light saber app and I realized I didn’t need the force; just Charles Xavier’s powers of telepathy. Which are strangely easier to come by, […]

  • MO commented on the post, poison 8 years, 1 month ago

    Did you know that the french word for poison sounds incredibly close to the french word for fish? Sometimes, when I think about all the people who are allergic to shellfish, I think this makes sense.

    But when I committed suicide, I wasn’t thinking about the lexical similarities of the french language.

  • MO commented on the post, deer 8 years, 2 months ago

    I walked into the hall and saw Bambi’s mom. How was I supposed to know my prospective boss practiced Disney taxidermy?

  • MO commented on the post, punishment 8 years, 2 months ago

    Your punishment is a time-out in the Twilight corner of your local Borders bookstore. You must stare at the posters/cardboard stands for over an hour until Kristen Stewart’s inability to act leaves you biting your own lips in an act of desperate recompense.
    Don’t steal my oreos.

  • MO commented on the post, discovery 8 years, 2 months ago

    I am a discovery. I have found confidence in a man, and have exhibited the behavior of a discovery. Confidence pants are sometimes meant to be taken off.

  • MO commented on the post, answers 8 years, 2 months ago

    I’ve been trying to find answers to things that have been bugging me for a really long time. And the one thing I can say is there must be some kind of God making me fall in love with anarchy.