• Jeff has two bananas and Mike has three apples. If Mike takes Jeff’s bananas, does that make him a thief? If he stole the bananas to feed the less fortunate, does that affect the morality of the situation? The answer, of course, is 42 kg/m*s^2.

  • Any port in a storm right? Well we’ll see how that turns out. It’s sad; I’ve been waiting for this for months. And now that it’s almost here? I almost don’t want to see you, because the anticipation has been so good.

  • We’ve got a good exchange going. I give you want you want, you give me what I want. I just need to be sure you won’t find another supplier. I’ve got all this to trade, but if there’s no one to trade with what’s the point? What we need is an emotional trade agreement, with […]

  • So many types of bars. Steel, aluminum, the ones that are made out of pressure. They can hold you out or keep you in. My favorite bar, though, is the one I’ll visit tonight. The one that helps me get drunk.

  • If I would have remembered my umbrella, I never would have sold my stuffed octopus to those gypsies.

  • Sonar Tech Johnson was puzzled by this acoustic signature. It was as if someone was popping popcorn, just underwater. It was jamming a very wide band, and it seemed to be getting louder.

  • Whiskey you’re the devil, you’re leading me astray. Over hills and mountains and to Amerikay. You’re sweeter, stronger, decenter, you’re spunkier than tea. And whiskey you’re my darling drunk or sober.

    And that’s the chorus to “Whiskey You’re the Devil”

  • What’s severe this morning is my need for caffeine. I don’t know what it is but I can’t seem to get a good night’s sleep, even if I go to bed relatively. Thank God for coffee though.

  • There are days where everything just seems to go wrong. Obstacles at every turn, when all you want is to go back to bed. When things are bleakest is when you have to push forward. Going on when all you want to do is stop, that’s strength.

  • Plans always felt to me like hope. I desire for something farther down the road. Built into that is the assumption that things will work out. While plans rarely work out entirely, at least we’re still hoping.

  • You ever just have things line up for you? So even when things go bad, they end up being a blessing in the end? That’s my life right there. It’s nice, because I feel like I have a greater purpose. Serendipity leading me ever onward.

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  • If all the world’s a stage, and all the men and women are merely players, then who is our audience?

  • I’ve read you’re resume, and I must say that it is very interesting. Perhaps the most interesting thing that’s come across my desk all day. However, I don’t think that you’re quite right for the job. Just because you watched all the seasons of “House” in one sitting doesn’t mean you’re a doctor.

  • It’s all about the approach. Come in to fast and you’ll overshoot. Come in to slow and you’ll crash into the deck. I guess landing on an aircraft carrier is a lot like meeting women?

  • You can go your entire life without feeling whole. Most try to fill themselves up with stuff. Cars, money, people, used like a psychological duct tape.

  • Often I’ve wondered why I’m here. And I don’t necessarily mean in a larger metaphysical sense. I mean right where I am today. What decisions made me who I am. If I could do it all again, would I do things differently? Probably, but maybe not.

  • The words just drips anticipation. So close you can taste it. It’s right there, rolling on in its silent inevitability. Spring break starts Friday, it’s almost here.

  • “The specific gravity is off; someone has been tampering with the coolant!”
    *sirens sound*
    “Oh God, the reactor is going critical!”
    *sirens stop*
    “Or maybe not? Guess it was just a false alarm guys. I’m thinking Denny’s for lunch?”

  • That’s where you go to push boots. Where chiefs and first-class get saluted. And if you wear khaki then you get red-roped. And out in the fleet that means more than any butter-bar will. It’s where the raw materials get made into the flesh and bone of the service. They call it R-school these days, […]